Finally I Have a Clear Mind
(Clearwisdom.net) When I look back at my cultivation path over the past few years, especially my experiences with the 610 Office, I understand that it was a process of getting rid of my attachments to fear and competitiveness. I was able to clarify the truth to the staff there face to face, and walk out of a brainwashing center with righteous thoughts. However, I found that my condition was still not right. I always felt some kind of depression or resentment against the people from the 610 Office.
Several days ago, my spouse walked out of a brainwashing center with righteous thoughts. A worker from 610 Office called me while I was at work. At the same moment, the resentment surfaced. I found a fellow practitioner to discuss this with and we examined all my thoughts in detail during that moment. The fellow practitioner commented that, "You still have an attachment to self."
That's right. In the beginning, when the 610 Office sent a message through my company that required me to visit them, I thought that it was a chance to clarify the truth to them face to face. Later, when they repeated the same approach, I didn't think that it was appropriate for a practitioner to cooperate with the evil forces. However, whenever one of the sensitive dates approached, the 610 Office always found me by going through my boss or company. I always worried over such thoughts as "don't offend the boss," "don't generate a direct conflict with the 610 Office," or "don't create more tribulations for my cultivation," and I always cooperated with their requests. However, after the visits, I felt unhappy and could not find where the problem was. The root of the problem was finally pointed out by a fellow practitioner: I always wanted to solve my cultivation problems by using everyday people's approaches. Actually, the real problem was that I could not let go my attachment to self.
When I enlightened to the Fa of this realm, I suddenly found that the 610 Office was nothing important. A Dafa disciple in the Fa rectification period should not be controlled or have their lives arranged by the evil forces. When I thought about this, the darkness of my mind disappeared. I felt open minded, merciful, and optimistic. I really have a clear mind now. The situation was just like what Master had told us in "Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington D.C. International Fa Conference,"
"If a Dafa disciple's heart is unsteady, it will cause changes in his or her surroundings. When you have fear, for instance, you will find that the sentient beings around you are not quite right. When you change such that your presence is refreshing and uplifting to people, and your mind becomes broad and full of optimism, you will find the things around you to be correspondingly different. When clarifying the truth, when validating the Fa, and when encountering challenges as you do things, adjust yourself and look at things with righteous thoughts. It might just prove to be effective." ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington D.C. International Fa Conference", July 18, 2009)
After my xinxing improved, the environment immediately changed. I firmly decided not to go this time to meet with the people from the 610 Office. They stopped calling me without a reason.