Family Issues Were a Window into My Cultivation State
(Clearwisdom.net) I had the good fortune of learning Falun Dafa in 1998. For many years, I've been traveling out of town to help take care of my grandchildren. While looking after my them, I also try to do what I can--download and print Teacher's articles, truth-clarification materials and experience-sharing articles. Due to inexperience, I took a long time to get them done. My husband often mocked me by saying, "You spend so much time on this; waking up early and going to bed late. You even have your headphones on when doing household chores. What if you had to go to work? You don't know what you are doing at all." He complained about everything I did.
Most of the time, I ignored his comments. However, one time I argued back when he complained about our daughter's behavior. I then started reciting out loud what Teacher said,
"You will run into many troubles. Problems will arise within the family, socially, and from other sources, or you might suddenly encounter disaster; it could even be that you will get blamed for what is actually someone else's fault, and so on and so forth." (Falun Gong)
Then he said, "Did I say something wrong? Why did you recite that out loud? Are you upset?" Indeed, I was forcing myself to tolerate him; I had no real compassion.
Once he pointed at me and said, "You have practiced for over ten years. You are more committed than anyone else and you always say how good Falun Gong is, and yet you don't show it. You are barely 70 years old and can't even look after a three-year-old without help. If you can look after everything around here, I will be convinced that Falun Gong is good." Hearing this, my human thoughts surfaced, "I have a better education, made more money and had a much better job than he had. What gives him the right to talk to me like this? He is never sensitive to other people's feelings, and yet, no one can criticize him." I forced myself to not argue with him because I didn't want to look bad. However, I was really upset.
After studying "Fa Teaching to the Australian Practitioners," I enlightened that when a practitioner has a conflict with an everyday person, the practitioner is absolutely at fault. So I told my husband, "I have not cultivated well. But you cannot say that Dafa is not good because of me. It's because I haven't lived up to Dafa's standards. My Teacher tells practitioners to be good people wherever they are; to have great aspirations while minding minor details. Please trust that I will do my best to follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance in everything I do in the future."
For the past few years, family issues have taken up a lot of my energy and time. Why was this? I realized that I must have some issues to resolve. Since I didn't cultivate well, my energy field was not pure. I should really look within. As I was doing the sitting meditation, I realized that if the things that my husband said bothered me so much all these years, it was because I had certain attachments that needed to be eliminated. After studying the Fa intensely and sharing with fellow practitioners, I realized that I resented him for being hot-tempered and petty. As a result, whatever he said bothered me.
I also realized that other people's behaviors mirrored my own, and my negative thoughts are physical elements in other dimensions that I should eliminate.
Teacher pointed out in Zhuan Falun,
"To tell you the truth, the entire cultivation process for a practitioner is one of constantly giving up human attachments."
As I was eliminating my attachments, merciful Teacher took away the "matter." As a result, my family environment has become more harmonious and my husband has improved, too. He even helps me with some chores. He also asks me to read the Fa to him and reminds me to send forth righteous thoughts at the scheduled times.
When writing this article, I feel peaceful with a clear mind. Indeed it is as Teacher tells us, looking inward works magic.