(Clearwisdom.net) I have come to realize that I must take the issue of "selfishness" seriously after having experienced one test after another. On many occasions when I was unable to pass a test or failed to maintain my xinxing, it was because it had fundamentally touched upon my selfishness. Selfishness is incompatible with the act of being selfless, and it is the biggest obstacle on the path of cultivation and doing Fa-rectification.
The first manifestation of being selfish is the protecting of oneself. At critical moments of life-and-death, being faced with significant personal interests, one tries one's utmost to protect oneself. It is the biggest excuse that the old forces use to inflict persecution upon us. The manifestation of being selfless is the actions of offering salvation to sentient beings. Master said,
"As you know, a Buddha or a God can give up his life for living beings and for the interest of the universe; they can give up anything, and even remain unmoved by it." (Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference, 1999)
I remember when I dropped out of school and was imprisoned for the second time, the cell head said, "Do you think your standards are high? Everything you do reflects your selfishness." I was stunned. I was indeed unable to protect another practitioner because of my attachment to protecting myself at the time. Since I was being persecuted and being held at the detention center with bad people, I wanted to keep my distance from them, which lacks compassion. Being selfish is the need to protect oneself, which is actually against the universal characteristics. Once, the second cell head tried to bully me. I was cleaning my bed board, when she suddenly shoved her entire body heavily against me. It was a violent impact according to others that witnessed it, but I only felt my stomach slightly move a bit. That very afternoon, she had developed a fever, but she recovered three days later. Afterwards, she said a lot of kind words to me.
The second manifestation of being selfish is that one does not want to or is unable to endure. The fact is that, because one's fundamental interest is touched upon, one finds it difficult to endure. When one feels irritated and loses control of one's temper, it is a sure indication that one's heart is stirred. When I was beaten at a forced labor camp, I maintained righteous thoughts, so I did not feel pain. I thought that being beaten was nothing serious. But one night after "helpers" left, those inmates who monitored me fiercely kicked me. One thought came across my mind, "It is still so far from dawn--will I be crushed?" Immediately [after this negative thought], I felt unbearable pain and shortly afterwards I was unable to endure it. I wrote something that a genuine practitioner should not say to cope with the terrible situation. I found the team head the next morning and revoked what I had written the previous night. Later on, I compromised my faith, because I didn't want to lead a life of being physically and verbally abused daily. Not until a few days ahead of my release did I announce that everything I had written against Dafa was null and void. I would resume my cultivation and make up for the losses I had caused in saving sentient beings.
Being selfless is manifested in determination and steadfastness, validating Dafa, and saving sentient beings.
"One's Buddha-nature is Shan, and it manifests itself as compassion, thinking of others before acting, and the ability to endure suffering. " ("Buddha-Nature and Demon-Nature," Essentials for Further Advancement)
So Dafa disciples can remain steadfast in their righteous belief in face of gross abuse and torture and can save sentient beings while suffering the inflicted pain from persecution.
The third manifestation of being selfish is validating oneself, showing off, and the expectation of being recognized by righteous gods, while being selfless is manifested as silently sacrificing without seeking return. Selfishness is the root of all human attachments, and the root that sprouts turmoil. The old forces have carried out this persecution against Dafa and Dafa disciples, and it fundamentally originated from their selfishness. The old forces have made use of beings' selfish characteristics to do a lot of bad things. The entire universe has been degenerated, and the old beings have no way to clearly identify the concept of selfishness. Only by unconditionally assimilating to Dafa can a life enter the new universe of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Only by studying the Fa more and assimilating to the Fa can cultivators avoid problems and break through the old forces' arrangements and persecution.
Finally let's review Master's article, "Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature" in Essentials for Further Advancement:
"I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others--or even future generations--along with Dafa's eternal stability."
