Dafa Taught Me To Look Inward
(Clearwisdom.net) I have lived in France since 2003. In 2006, I had an argument with a Chinese practitioner, who told me, "You've cultivated for so many years, but still haven't learned to look inward."
Letting Go of the Attachment to Protect Myself
Having lived in China under the influence of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture for a long time, I felt a strong need to protect myself since childhood. I didn't pay attention to this attachment even after I began practicing Falun Gong.
In Zhuan Falun, Master said,
"The more you fear it, the sicker you will look. This attachment of yours must be removed. You will be made to learn from this lesson so that your fear can be removed, and you can advance."
The more I feared people saying negative things about me, the more people actually did, especially practitioners. Since I didn't let go of this attachment, I was under an illusion that it was too difficult to cultivate. For a while, I even had doubts about cultivation.
Through reading the Fa, I started to look inward. Although practitioners' criticism embarrassed me, was my heart truly pure? Why didn't I eliminate my attachments instead of complaining in vain about practitioners' unfairness towards me? I gradually corrected every single thought that wasn't aligned with the Fa. As a result, the suspicion that practitioners initially felt about me slowly faded away and we began to study the Fa, clarify the truth, send righteous thoughts and save sentient beings together again.
Steeling My Will and Being Considerate
I used to think I was a well-rounded person with many interests and refined tastes. Although I liked to learn many different things, I rarely took the time to learn something well. Even after I began cultivating, I couldn't finish anything I started or the Dafa projects that I promised. Practitioners felt helpless when we worked together and I was frustrated as well.
Towards the end of August 2009, a practitioner conducted some interviews during an event at the Paris city council. The coordinator asked me to help edit the news, and I agreed. After getting off work at 4:00 p.m., I started to work on the news. After I was done, I uploaded it to the website according to the reporter's suggestions. Later, the reporter asked me to edit a part of the voice recording. I felt annoyed, thinking the work I put in wouldn't be acknowledged. I thought her idea wasn't very good and reminded myself not to get involved in such thankless tasks in the future. In the end, however, I did as she suggested and made the changes.
I later thought of Master's words, "... what you do then, with a pure heart, will be the best and most sacred." ("Further Understanding", Essentials for Further Advancement).
I calmed down and made further changes to the edited article based on the recording. It then occurred to me that everyone involved in producing the news, from the reporter to the editor and the coordinator, had put in a lot of effort and time. Everyone made suggestions in hopes of improving the article. Then why couldn't I make the best of it too? Therefore, I decided to take the article off the website and put more effort into editing it. I asked the head of the European interview department for suggestions. She painstakingly helped me to make the best of the script. It took nearly seven hours before the report was formally published. I felt calm and discovered that I had changed.
Learning to Treasure My Cultivation Path and Treat Others Compassionately
For a long time, I was hard on myself when I didn't do well or have strong righteous thoughts. I then realized that being hard on myself was a way for me to cover up my attachments. I was still trying to protect myself and didn't want others to see my attachments.
Having an attitude of "evil for evil" didn't help me improve my xinxing, but rather hindered me from developing true compassion towards myself and others. We all have shortcomings, and not doing well doesn't mean we should feel ashamed. Isn't cultivation about recognizing our shortcomings, resisting them and gradually eliminating them? What would everyday people think if all practitioners treated themselves and others the way I did? Then how would we be able to display the compassion and solemnity of a practitioner's state?
Through studying the Fa, I realized that practitioners should display Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance towards themselves, everyday people and to fellow practitioners. Having enlightened to this, my heart felt light and I no longer wanted to cover up my attachments, nor felt crestfallen to discover them. Instead, I rationally faced up to my own cultivation state and gradually got rid of attachments. I felt more confident and hopeful.
For a long time, I felt resentment towards a practitioner. One day in the subway, a black singer introduced himself and said, "Today I bring you a song, 'Forgiveness'. We should forgive those around us, even though they might have done bad things or hurt us. We should learn to forgive." When I heard that, I realised Master was giving me a hint. It was time that I let go of this attachment. As I sat there listening to the song, tears welled in my eyes and I quietly said to Master, "This disciple understands; I will forgive."
Clarifying the Truth to Overseas Chinese
Towards the end of October 2009, I went to Guadeloupe, a province in France, where practitioners had prepared several truth-clarification activities. The next day, we arrived at the provincial capital, Basse Terre to visit local Chinese businesses. At that time, I only wanted to find out if they had learned the truth, so I didn't urge them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Surprisingly, several Chinese owners were very happy to receive the informational materials and offered us free drinks and snacks.
On the way home, I remembered Master's words,
"Dafa disciples, speak the truth,
From your mouths, sharp swords all at once shoot forth.
Piercing through the lies of rotten ghosts,
Seize the moment to rescue and save--hurry up and speak" ("Hurry Up and Speak", Hong Yin II).
I made up my mind from that day on I would hand out truth-clarification materials and urge the local Chinese to quit the CCP to truly save them. The following day, we went to Point A Pitre, where many Chinese people gathered. It was important that we coordinated and co-operated well with local practitioners. We first talked to one of the most influential business owners and brought up the topic about quitting the CCP. His wife became the first to do the three withdrawals.
We then went to a grocery store, where the owner was going through a tough time. We had a sincere talk with him. Although his family was a victim of the CCP, he still viewed things from the Party's perspective because he reads its propaganda every day. I sent righteous thoughts to clear out any interference in other dimensions as we talked about the CCP's crimes, the consequence of being linked to it and the importance of quitting the CCP. At the time, customers came into his store one after another. We waited patiently to continue our conversation after the customers had left. After over an hour, he finally said, "I quit. I quit the Party, the Youth League, and the Young Pioneer." When we left, his eyes were moist. We delivered the truth face-to-face to most of the local Chinese in two weeks. Once they learned the truth, they renounced the CCP immediately.
I know that I still have many things to learn and improve on in my cultivation path. I firmly believe that under Master's guidance, I will fulfill my mission and vow of saving sentient beings.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
2009 European Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference