I Wish I Could Have Obtained the Fa Earlier
Greetings, Master! Greetings, practitioners!
I am a new Dafa disciple who obtained the Fa in June 2009. I feel so fortunate that I can return home with Master and return to my true origin.
Obtaining the Fa
In September 2008, when a practitioner told me that he practiced Falun Gong, I was very surprised and excited. At that time, I didn't know much about Falun Gong, and I hadn't paid much attention to the communist regime's slander of the practice in the media. Later, practitioners showed us the video "Falsefire," explained the truth about Dafa, and persuaded us to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Although I knew that Falun Dafa was wonderful, at that time I hadn't realized just how evil the regime was and didn't immediately agree to quit. In a letter the practitioner wrote me, he quoted Master: "When one's Buddha-nature emerges, it will shake 'the world of ten directions." and mentioned, "Master." His words awakened my knowing side and left a very deep impression on me. Since then, our revered Master has arranged my predestined relationship with Dafa.
One day, after I read a truth-clarification email and learned more information about quitting the CCP and other information regarding Falun Gong, I quit the CCP online myself. As an everyday person I was attracted to this practitioner, but he refused my declaration of affection. However, because of the compassion and tolerance he demonstrated in handling this issue, I became very curious about his belief and asked if I could borrow some Dafa books from him.
The next day, I received an electronic copy of Zhuan Falun. When I was reading the second lecture, I felt very dizzy, began to cough, and had a runny nose. I thought I had a cold, so I stopped reading and went to sleep. The next day I continued reading Zhuan Falun and realized that the reactions I had the day before were normal. I thought it was magical. I didn't know then that Master had already started to adjust my body. After I finished reading Zhuan Falun the first time, I thought it taught people how to be a good. As I read it again, I suddenly realized that this was something I had been looking for my entire life. This is how I obtained the Fa. After that, I understood all the karmic relationships in my life, including several dreams that I couldn't understand in the past.
After I started cultivation practice, the painful menstruation, rhinitis, and other minor diseases I had had for a long time were cured. Later I knew Master was suffering the karma for me. Thank you, Master!
The six months after I obtained the Fa was the happiest time for me. At that time, I could study the Fa and do the exercises every day, as well as do the three things diligently.
A Cup Needs to Be Washed
After I first started cultivation, I was well-satisfied with myself. I thought my xinxing was good and that I didn't have many attachments. However, I had a dream that I was washing a cup, and I had to scrape away many layers of dirt. I felt very strange in the dream because I thought the cup was very clean, but it was dirty after all. After I woke up, I realized Master was giving me a hint that I also have a lot of layers of attachments.
As soon as I started cultivation practice, I began to encounter all kinds of tests targeting my xinxing. Someone began to compete for my profits, several people suddenly became very angry with me, and others began to find fault with me at work. I knew that all these situations were targeting my attachments, so, in the beginning I forced myself to be tolerant although sometimes it was really painful. I told myself, "These are my human notions, they are not me,. As a practitioner my heart shouldn't be moved by those things." Gradually, I calmed down. At that moment, my heart was empty and the feeling was very wonderful. Sometimes I wasn't able to maintain my xinxing and I would feel very regretful afterward.
At first, Master often gave me hints to be compassionate. I enlightened that the compassion Master asks us to have doesn't include any ordinary human notions of what people think compassion is; instead, true compassion is selfless and altruistic.
Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts
When I first found out we needed to send forth righteous thoughts, I wasn't concerned whether I had supernormal abilities or not because I was a new practitioner who had just obtained the Fa about one month before. I sent forth righteous thoughts on time. I remembered that the first time after I finished sending forth righteous thoughts at midnight and went to bed, I saw Master looking at me with great compassion. That happy feeling was beyond description.
Once after I finished sending forth righteous thoughts, I noticed some dark spots on the mat I usually sat on and the color then gradually faded away. I realized that it was a manifestation of the elimination of the evil in this dimension. I was very excited and I began to check the mat for those spots after I sent forth righteous thoughts. Sometimes I even thought about the manifestation when I was sending righteous thoughts and then nothing appeared on the mat afterwards. However, when I didn't think about the spots appearing, they would appear again. After this, I often reminded myself that if I have done anything successfully, I shouldn't develop the attachment of zealotry. Everything is given by Master, and it's my duty to do things well.
When facing the evil, it's really important to have righteous thoughts. Once I was reported to the police when I was spending money with truth-clarification messages written on it. At the police station, I asked Master to strengthen me and I silently recited Fa-rectification verses. I also remembered Master's words in Zhuan Falun: "I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe." Although I was a little nervous, I wasn't afraid at all. When the police officer asked me some questions, I answered them with wisdom, corrected their slanderous ideas, and clarified the truth to them.
Because I obtained the Fa so late I don't have those very touching experiences of safeguarding the Fa in the worst times with other practitioners. But now I can do what I can to protect Dafa. I have been thinking: If I had had the opportunity, I wish I could have obtained the Fa earlier!
After I went back home, I began to be fearful, and I wondered whether the police would question me again. When I was studying the Fa that night, I read one paragraph in Zhuan Falun:
"There is another type of person. Someone was told in the past that he had spirit or animal possession. He felt that way as well. However, upon having it removed for him, his mind still worries about it. He always thinks that the condition still exists. He still thinks that it is there, and this is already an attachment called suspicion. As time passes, this person may bring it to himself again. One should give up this attachment, as this spirit or animal possession no longer exists. Some people were already cleared of these things in our previous classes. I have already done those things for them and removed all spirit or animal possession."
I suddenly understood that I had already passed this test with Master's benevolent protection and strengthening. However, the evil didn't give up trying to interfere with me. In my dream that night, a strong force was pulling me down with all its strength. I called out to Master again and again and finally broke away from it.
When I eliminated the evil's propaganda materials, things would go very smooth if I had strong righteous thoughts. Once when I was replacing the Party's propaganda with truth-clarification materials, a person walked directly towards me. I thought I was doing the most righteous thing in this universe and I had nothing to be afraid of. The person passed right by me as if I wasn't there. Another time that I found a slanderous poster. After I sent forth righteous thoughts and asked Master to strengthen me, I went right up to the poster and removed it. And I sent one more thought that anyone who passed by couldn't see me, and, indeed, no one paid any attention to what I was doing.
Clarifying the Truth
Before I obtained the Fa, once I dreamed about a big earthquake. The surface of the earth split apart, and red magma flowed out. Some people were engulfed by the magma while others fled for their lives in terror. I found a safe place where I could pull up those people I had to save.
In another dream, I led a group of people running towards higher ground to escape a flood. I remembered I went with several other people to search for a way to save ourselves. We found a huge rock carved with two lines of characters. After I became a practitioner, I knew the words said, "Falun Dafa is good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." And I also realized that before I obtained the Fa, Master had already told me that saving people is very important.
Sometimes when I clarified the truth to people, I couldn't wait to tell them that I practiced Falun Gong. When I talked about this to fellow practitioners, I thought I wasn't wrong and that I was placing Dafa first. However, after I studied "Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference," I finally realized that I had been going to an extreme, and this was the mentality of showing off.
When I asked one of my friends to quit the CCP, she told me that her mother used to practice Dafa, but because of the persecution, she gave it up. However, she still secretly kept all the Dafa books safe. After my friend agreed to quit the CCP, she said that she almost cried because of what I had said. When I first began asking other people to remember "Falun Dafa is good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good," I felt a stream of heat moving from my head to my toes. I was so touched by those words that I was about to cry. Every cell in my body was trembling and I knew it was the awakening of my true self.
Later I quit my job and opened a small shop with my friends. In this way, I could get in touch with many sentient beings. I worked every other day, so I could spend one day at home to study the Fa and make truth-clarification materials and the next day at work I clarified the truth to my customers. On my way to work or when I took the bus, I distributed informational materials and clarified the truth. I always give the Shen Yun DVDs to people in person.
One time I was going to our Fa-study group on the bus and I gave my seat to a much older man. After talking with him, I found out that he was over 80 years old and that he would be getting off the bus several stops ahead of me. Since the time for group study was already set, if I got off the bus with him I would be late. I knew I needed to clarify the truth to him, so I got off the bus with him. I said to him, "Grandpa, I want to tell you a secret to be safe and healthy: That is, to remember 'Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.'" He said: "All right! I will!" Then I asked him if he was a Party member. He said he was, so I told him that the regime was persecuting Falun Gong and that it had murdered more than 80 million Chinese people in all its political movements. I told him that Heaven was going to eliminate the CCP, and he should quit to be safe. When he asked me how to quit, I said I could help him and gave him the pseudonym Zhang Jiankang. He immediately agreed to quit the CCP. In this way, another life was saved.
Sometimes salespeople come to our shop to promote their products. I welcome them with a smile and listen to them tell about their products. If it is skin care or health products, I tell them I have a better method, and I begin to clarify the truth and tell them about the marvelous changes I have experienced. I often tell them that Dafa has spread all over the world and the truth about the staged Tian'anmen Self-immolation incident. Almost every salesperson has agreed to quit the CCP. Once I bought a person's product and he agreed to quit the CCP right then. But later my friends told me that he thought I indulged myself too much in this. Therefore, I understood that I shouldn't clarify the truth with any human notion or to validate myself. Quitting the CCP is so important for a person, it is not something to be taken lightly.
I have also met some people who didn't agree to quit the CCP or wouldn't read truth-clarification materials. Once I clarified the truth to a taxi driver. He didn't argue with me, nor did he agree to quit the CCP. Later he stopped the car alongside the road and went to a traffic police officer. I began to have some negative thoughts, but I rejected them and asked Master to strengthen me. I thought, "I am doing the most righteous thing in this universe and I am Master's disciple; the evil isn't allowed to persecute me." It turned out that the driver went to the police officer to ask for directions. Before I got out, I gave him some truth-clarification brochures, and he accepted them gladly.
The Tribulation of Attachment to Family
Without being aware of it, I developed the mentality of doing things and the attachments of zealotry and pursuing comfort. When the weather got cold, I no longer did the exercises. And I found excuses for myself using Master's lectures that said that cultivating xinxing is more important than doing the exercises. I also still had affection for the practitioner who had introduced me to Dafa, thus the evil took advantage of my loopholes.
At the end of last year, I went back home with all kinds of human notions to clarify the truth to my family, instead of remembering that they were people to be saved. Both of my parents, who had been deeply poisoned by the CCP, got very angry. Other family members threatened me, saying that they would send me to prison. Furthermore, my parents told me that if I continued to practice Dafa, they would disown me. Faced with these pressures, I wanted to run away from my family and leave everything behind. Fortunately, Master arranged for a fellow practitioner to give me a call just in time and prevent me from doing anything inappropriate that would harm Dafa.
During that period, the most painful thing was that I couldn't study the Fa. My family members snatched my copy of Zhuan Falun, and even confiscated my computer and cell phone to prevent me from using the Internet. I could only listen to Master's lectures with my MP3 player, which they hadn't found. As soon as I woke up, I recited Lunyu and the poems I remembered from Hong Yin. While I wept I repeatedly asked Master to strengthen me. After I calmed down, I remembered that Master said that nothing happens to practitioners by chance. I knew I must have some loopholes. This tribulation was targeting my human notions and attachments, and no matter how uncomfortable I felt or how negative the situation seemed, they were all good things. These were cultivation opportunities and everything happened because I was a practitioner.
I recited "Steadfast," "Don't Be Sad," "The Master-Disciple Bond," "Severing," and "Cause and Effect" again and again. I looked inward to find my attachments. I said to myself, "I only want Dafa, I only accept Dafa, I am willing to lose everything. If this is Master's arrangement, then I will endure it no matter how hard it is." Gradually, I ceased feeling miserable. As long as I thought of Master's suffering during Fa-rectification and for sentient beings, and those practitioners who were suffering torture and persecution in prisons, I realized that what I suffered was nothing.
My family members wanted to keep me by their side. I enlightened that I couldn't endure this passively--the old forces were trying to impose this tribulation on me. Master doesn't acknowledge it, nor would I. After I enlightened to this, I got up in the evening to do the exercises. My parents got very angry--one of them cursed me, the other beat me. But after they realized that they couldn't stop me from doing the exercises, they finally gave up. Later I realized that I needed to resume doing the three things, so I went to another city.
Identifying My Fundamental Attachment
Although I found a job very quickly, I soon slacked off in doing the three things. When I studied the Fa, I couldn't remain focused. I didn't actively clarify the truth to strangers. Even if I did, the effect wasn't very good, and I didn't do the exercises regularly.
Once I had a dream that I was notified that I would receive my college diploma. Almost everyone who went there received theirs, but not me. I was very sad about this. After I woke up, I felt very unsettled. Except for my attachment of pursuing comfort, I clearly felt the old forces were interfering with me. They wanted to stop me from being confident in doing the three things and cultivating diligently after the tribulation with my family.
Recently, after I read some sharing articles on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, I finally understood why the demon of fatigue was able to interfere with me: My main consciousness wasn't strong enough, and I treated the mentalities such as, "I'm too tired" or "Sleeping is very comfortable" as my own thoughts. Sometimes I slept so deeply that I couldn't even hear my alarm. As I continued to look inward, I identified my attachment of pursuing comfort. When a fellow practitioner said I was too self-centered in the past, I felt wronged at that time. But the fact was that I didn't dare to face my problem and mistakenly regarded the interfering thoughts as the real me.
In the future, I will try my best to be a better cultivator. I will look inward to cultivate myself well, do the three things diligently, and not let Master down.
Heshi to great and revered Master!
Heshi to fellow practitioners!