Eleven Years of Trials and Tribulations Strengthened Me
Going to Beijing to appeal to higher authorities
In July 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) openly arrested Falun Dafa coordinators in different places throughout the country. We had no choice but to talk to the local government officials. However, their response was more beatings, arrests, and forceful dispersions. Since no solution was possible at the local level, we decided to go to Beijing to appeal to higher authorities.
At that time many practitioners were going to Beijing from all over the country. The word was out: if a person was found to be a practitioner of Dafa he or she "would be arrested or beaten to death." Quite a few practitioners were arrested and beaten at the airports, train stations, and bus stations. The evil CCP set up blockades at major intersections with police officers to intercept practitioners. The situation was very serious.
At that time, many different views surfaced from different practitioners. The first view was that we should bravely step-up to defend Dafa, while a second view was to ignore the interference and continue to study Dafa principles at home. Some thought that going to Beijing to appeal was hurting Dafa's image, while others thought that going to appeal was the way to achieve consummation, etc. What was the proper thing to do? I recalled that Teacher kept reminding us to study the Dafa principles.
I decided that before going to Beijing I should fully understand the principles. I went through the following lectures several times: "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada," "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in New Zealand," "Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference," "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference," "Big Exposure" and "For Whom do You Exist" from Essentials for Further Advancement I, and "Position" from Essentials for Further Advancement II. My understanding was that "Falun Dafa is the law of the cosmos." I was lucky to be a disciple and cultivate in Dafa. Thinking righteously to myself I thought, "As a disciple I should defend Dafa and Teacher. Whether I can reach consummation or not is not important. But using human notions to decide about appealing to higher authorities concerns only personal gain and loss. These notions could be embellishing my personal fears." In "Digging Out the Roots" from Essentials for Further Advancement I, Teacher said,
"At the crucial moment when I ask you to break away from humans, you do not follow me. Each opportunity will not occur again. Cultivation practice is a serious matter. The distance has become greater and greater. It is extremely dangerous to add anything human to cultivation practice."
I see now that every time there is a trial, it is to remove a human notion in a process to improve character. Once I understood these Dafa principles, my worry was gone and I became firm and stable. I was ready to go to Beijing.
Practitioners in my area heard that I wanted to go to Beijing. Some wanted to go with me; others told me that our coordinator had pronounced that I was trying to cause harm to Dafa; still others came to advise me to study Dafa principles more at home. We learned Dafa principles together and shared our understandings sincerely. Finally, those who were fearful and worrisome about my safety or who were against going to appeal changed their minds and supported going to Beijing to appeal. I knew that the parts of us that understood Dafa principles knew what to do. However, they were blocked by human notions. At the time we parted, we were full of confidence. A few days later, some changed their minds again and believed we should not go. Others said that practitioners with their third eyes open said other things.
I could see their concern and the difficulties some of them had in reaching a decision. We were in this together. I decided I should share my understanding with them more, so I delayed my departure date. During those days, fake Dafa articles were being circulated. We used Dafa principles to weed out the phony ones and avoided participating in spreading the false articles. We all understood that the only way to reach a correct understanding was to study the principles as diligently as possible. We studied the principles systematically and paid more attention to those articles that seemed to be addressing our problems. Finally, we all understood the real meanings behind our obligation for going to Beijing to appeal. Some fellow practitioners openly admitted that their objection to appeal originated from their fears.
All of us went in separate groups to Beijing to defend Dafa. Most of us went and returned without incident. A few were prevented from leaving at the bus station, but no one had any real problems.
It was wintertime in 1999 when I bought a train ticket to Beijing. One could tell that government agents were patrolling throughout the train station. There was a plainclothes police officer in every compartment who asked every passenger stepping onto the train whether he or she was a Dafa practitioner. Only those who answered "No" were allowed to go on the train. My mind was at peace as I got close to the officer, who appeared uptight when I approached him. Before he asked me anything, I smiled and said to him, "Is it true that Falun Gong practitioners cannot ride the train?" He replied, "No. Not true." and let me get on the train. As I got off the train early in the morning in Beijing, a cold wind was blowing, but I felt fine and was dwelling on my mission. The National Appeal Office near Taoranting Park was filled with government agents. When the taxi driver heard where I wanted to go, he was quite concerned and advised me not to, saying that the government agents were beating people. His words reminded me of other evil deeds played out by the agents that I had heard about from fellow practitioners, and I asked myself, "Why have I come here?"At that point I remembered Teacher's words that, for cosmic truths, one should give up everything. This idea filled my entire being. I looked into the lane leading to the Appeals Office. It was filled with government agents and police officers responsible for arresting practitioners. As I moved towards the office with a smile on my face, all of the government workers moved to the sides, opening up a path for me to pass. Afterwards, some local police officers were discussing with one another, saying "We watched so closely, how could she get through?" Of course they could not understand that when a practitioner holds righteous thoughts, no one may stand in the way of his or her way defending Dafa.
After returning home I heard about practitioners from other districts going to Beijing with human notions. Some were looking for consummation; some went because others were going and they did not want to fall behind. Still others organized a group and rented a car. Before they could take off, they were intercepted by government officers and suffered in various ways. It is not a case of who can help in cultivation. It depends entirely on following Dafa.
The cultivation experience that we witnessed while going to Beijing to defend Dafa proved that practitioners should study Dafa principles thoroughly. This strengthens righteous thoughts and removes human notions. As a result, one can overcome different tribulations. In Teacher's lectures, all of the information that is needed is available. When we study Dafa principles without human notions, our real selves have a dominant effect in guiding us.
Picking up a pen to expose the evil around us
I have participated in writing reports to expose what the evil CCP did to some local practitioners.
At the time, there was an infamous evil agency in our area. Fellow practitioners suggested that we conduct an in-depth report about it. For example, we needed to distribute a photo of the evildoer, interview the practitioner who was persecuted, and learn more about what was going on within that agency. We divided up the work. Some of us were responsible for gathering materials, others for taking photographs, etc. Very soon we completed our report.
When we gathered together to discuss the report, I got an earful of comments. The whole schematic was a "thanks but no thanks" kind of job. Although I felt pretty bad, I did not retort. After calming down I realized that the purpose of writing the reports was to expose and restrain the evildoers. Yet, deep down in my mind I was looking for credit, which was a selfish human notion. Clearly, anything written from this standpoint cannot have a positive effect on evildoers. With this understanding, I reconsidered fellow practitioners' views seriously and revised the article with a holy and pure state of mind. Shortly after this article was published on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website, we decided to make a small booklet to expose that evil agency. There was a lot of interference when I tried to do typesetting for this booklet. It was the first time I had tried to do typesetting, and many mistakes were made and continued to occur. Fellow practitioners with a good background in computers could not make it clear to me what I was doing wrong. I firmly believed that Teacher could help me. Eventually, I got it done. When the booklet was ready for distribution, Teacher's comments on a student's article "Expose the Evil Happening Locally to the Local People" came out on November 15, 2003. Teacher encouraged what we were trying to do.
The next day almost all of the practitioners in our area distributed the booklets all over the city, including to the target agency. The wicked police officers were intimidated to see their own photographs and accounts of their evil deeds. According to feedback from practitioners who were imprisoned in agency, all of the wicked officers restrained themselves to some extent. Thus, the pressure on the imprisoned practitioners was reduced. After that, we made booklets explaining how local large enterprises were involved in the persecution, and the effects were very positive. During the preparation phase, every practitioner was very cooperative regardless of difficulties or risks involved. Actually, if we didn't cooperate well, it would not have been possible to publish so many articles on the Minghui website. Indeed, cooperation by all Dafa practitioners forms a solid, unbreakable field of righteous thoughts.
Tell people the facts about Falun Dafa
I have been telling people the facts about Falun Dafa since 1999. It has become part of my life. The more I do it, the easier it is for me and gradually the attachment to zealotry surfaces. Generally, once there is a chance to say something, I have an impulse to tell people what I want them to hear. When they have to leave, I follow them and continue telling them about Dafa. Most people comment, "You are very eloquent." and "I was happy to hear that." On many occasions people have asked me, "How did you learn to speak so well?" Fellow practitioners also admired my ability. Thus, I was more attached to zealotry without knowing it. What was worse was that, when I read in persecution articles about the fearless attitude of the practitioners involved, I admired them and wondered how I would deal with a similar situation. It was a show-off attachment I failed to detect. Then, after studying Touring North America to Teach the Fa, I wondered which category of disciples I belonged to and was hoping that I wouldn't be one of those who came just because the door was wide open. These attachments were a major cause for my being persecuted.
In 2002 I was arrested for a ridiculous reason. It was at that time that I asked myself what was wrong in my thinking. Being arrested means that I was following the old forces' arrangements instead of Dafa principles. I then understood that only those who depart from the principles are persecuted. In the past, I denounced the arrangement by the old forces, wanting to face the evildoers to prove that I was on the right path, while showing off my ability to explain the facts about Dafa. Due to these attachments I was not able to save any sentient beings. The response from people was not how great Dafa was or how evil the CCP was, it was how eloquent I was. The real purpose for telling people the facts is to save them from being fooled by the CCP. Once I recognized my mistakes and corrected myself, merciful Teacher indicated that I was ready to go home.
At home I opened Zhuan Falunwith great respect and I had a deeper sense of its value. As I read the book with a truly quiet mind, I noticed that, in the past, I was more concerned with how many lectures I read in a day than what I had learned. I misinterpreted the meaning of being diligent and did not improve my character. Now, after studying the principles much more thoroughly, I understand the old forces much better. Whatever human notions I held, the old forces would enhance them. They were trying to destroy me along with the beings I was supposed to save. However, as a practitioner, I have a mission. I should align with Dafa principles and so should the old forces. They have no right to test me or any Dafa practitioners. In fact, failure by anyone to align with Dafa principles will lead towards destruction.
I solemnly told myself that I would use my words and actions to let people know about the beauty of Dafa, and not my eloquence. Since then, whenever I try to tell people about Dafa, I watch their reactions and choose words that are easy for them to understand. This was completely different from what I did in the past when I acted as a higher level being advising people below me. Now the reactions I get are very different. One excited listener said, "Your Teacher is truly great!" Another said, "The persecution will end." After listening to me while sitting together on a bus, a lady held my hand and said with tears in her eyes, "Sister, you must take care of yourself!" Another fellow who had just returned from the United States heard me explaining Dafa to people and said emotionally, "You are truly great, just like those overseas Dafa practitioners."
Teacher said in "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference:"
"...they're a form of one-on-one media. Regardless of how much they understand about Dafa, whether they're able to comprehend it or not, they'll go back and tell people about the situation."
Ordinary people will also tell others about Dafa. We only need to follow the Fa and things will take care of themselves.
Once I had a strong sense of responsibility, I had numerous opportunities to save sentient beings. One day while I was waiting for a fellow practitioner by the roadside, an elderly woman approached me from a distance. We were looking at each other and I saw a kind face. As she passed by me, I said, "How are things with you?" She replied, "Aren't you working at such and such agency?" She told me my name and the agency where she worked. It turned out she remembered me because I went through practical training at the agency where she worked and I did a good job there, which impressed her. I couldn't remember her because it was 25 years ago. She was surprised to see that I appeared 20 years younger than my age. I told her that this was because I practiced Dafa, which gives me good health. She appeared concerned and said, "Didn't they pressure you?" I took this opportunity to tell her about how great Dafa was and how evil the CCP was and the reasons why withdrawing from the CCP and its affiliated organizations is necessary. She did not hesitate and agreed to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
It was an emotional event for me to see that she was saved after 25 years. Teacher let people with karmic relationships come to me. It was the power of Dafa that led to this meeting. On the human stage Dafa disciples are the main players assisting Master with saving sentient beings. We must do our part regardless of how long or how short a distance we have to go. We must follow Teacher and do our part.
It is because of the Dafa principles and my faith in them that I have overcome many obstacles. When times were tough, I studied the principles. When there was confusion, I studied the principles. Without them, there would be nothing to hang on to.
My sincere thanks to Teacher.