(Clearwisdom.net) From the day I started practicing Falun Dafa, I have kept on studying the Fa. After I obtained the Fa, I felt as though I were a parched seedling that had been blessed by sweet rain. I felt very happy that I had finally found what I had been searching for. From that day, I felt as if I were back home. From that day, I kept on spreading the wonderfulness of Dafa to my relatives, friends and people I happened to see, realizing that these were all predestined relationships. However, sometimes when I introduced Dafa to people, their attitude was not what I expected, which made me quite confused. It was my only concern after I obtained the Fa. Why didn't people wish to learn about this wonderful Fa?
As I kept diligently studying the Fa, I kept spreading the wonderfulness of Dafa to others. Because many people have been poisoned by the Communist regime's lies, I have experienced various reactions from people. Sometimes I considered stopping spreading the Fa; however, I couldn't help telling people, "Dafa really is wonderful!" No matter how I explained it to people, some still didn't understand, causing me to momentarily lose heart and stop. But when I heard people around me talking about Dafa, I felt their understanding was not right and I knew I had to correct them. After I obtained the Fa in 1997, I kept on spreading the wonderfulness of Dafa at both home and my workplace, helping people know Dafa; however, their interest in Dafa was still so low, causing me to feel very disappointed.
After looking within, I found the reason was that my own attitude towards Dafa was not quite correct. Dafa is so sacred; however, when I spoke about Dafa to others my thoughts were not completely righteous, and I was not focused on saving people. There wasn't any sacred feeling. Instead the approach I used was like a merchant selling some kind of product. Wasn't the way I spoke about this sacred Fa a crime against Dafa? Was I acting like a true practitioner?
It was during this period that I began to recite the Fa from memory. When I recited "Energy Field," I understood that it was because I didn't cultivate myself well that the effect of my spreading the Fa was not good. My microscopic level was not pure enough, thus I didn't have enough power to eliminate the interfering factors that blocked people from obtaining the Fa. When I recited "A Clear and Clean Mind" from Zhuan Falun, I realized that I still had many attachments. I still hadn't let go of the attachments to fame and self-interest and I was still attached to sentimentality. Even more seriously, I treated practicing cultivation as a theory for solving everyday problems; I didn't realize that the true meaning of life was to return to our original, true selves.
I encountered a lot of interference while memorizing Zhuan Falun. Sometimes it felt like there was a pocket of mist in my brain, making it very hard for me to focus and blocking me from reciting the Fa. Sometimes I was unable to finish reciting even one complete sentence. Then I began memorizing one word at a time. As I tried to recite, I kept hearing some noise. I persisted and focused on reciting the word again and again until my thoughts calmed down and then began to read the second word. In this way, I was finally able to recite the Fa word by word, sentence by sentence and paragraph by paragraph. I didn't stop reciting the paragraph until I felt nothing was blocking me and my mind became clear.
During the process of reciting the Fa, I also found and corrected my words and deeds that were not in accordance with the Fa. Several days after I began to recite the Fa, my body underwent a great change. My body became so light, as if I were weightless. I felt that it was because I had upgraded my xinxing and eliminated the karma that kept blocking me while reciting the Fa. I kept on reciting the Fa, thinking that no matter how difficult it was, I must keep Zhuan Falun in my mind, truly cultivate, and spread the wonderful and holy Dafa to others.
Today when I read "How to Give Assistance" in Essentials for Further Advancement, I suddenly enlightened to why people always say, "You come to give lessons again" when they see me, which for years I didn't understand. It turned out that when I explained the truth about Falun Gong to others, my tone sounded as though I was commanding them. How could people accept the truth when it sounded as though I was ordering them around? After I enlightened to this, I adjusted myself. When I clarified the truth this afternoon, the person listened to me carefully for almost one hour, and we discussed his questions together.
After being a practitioner for so many years, I can't remember how many times I have studied Zhuan Falun. Sometimes I read it very quickly but afterward, I can't remember what I have just read. Reciting the Fa from memory is different. Although reciting the Fa has been difficult, once I did it, I was able to identify many of my attachments.
Category: Improving Oneself
