(Clearwisdom.net) I had been imprisoned in China for more than two years. During that time, I refused to sign any statement to give up practicing Falun Gong. In the end, I was released because I was dying due to torture.
Several months later, I recovered and became healthy. I thought that I had been steadfast in my belief in Falun Gong while in jail and was quite proud of myself. In fact, I took pride in being able to endure tortures, which an average person would have never been able to endure. However, in hindsight, I had acknowledged the old forces' arrangements, but I didn't realize it at that time.
Teacher said,
"Punches and kicks do little to change people's hearts"
("The Chill of Autumn's Winds" of Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Teacher also said,
"Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts"
("Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts" of Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I have finally realized that the old forces cannot use any torture or prison to target a practitioner's remaining attachments. During my cultivation practice before July 20, 1999, I realized that to genuinely cultivate and to eliminate one's attachments, one must keep studying the Fa and rectifying oneself according to the Fa and then one continues to find one's inadequacies. I think this is the fastest and most straightforward approach to cultivation, which Teacher has taught us.
Every practitioner has attachments. Can attachments be eliminated via verbal abuse or violence? Absolutely not. If a person fails to tell right from wrong and has to use coercion to have people submit to him, those people will not actually eliminate their attachments. Take the coerced drug rehabilitation program as an example. It does very little for drug addicts. Many people start taking drugs again after they are released from the rehabilitation centers.
With this in mind, the old forces' arrangements are foolish. They regard this sacred Falun Gong practice as one of those small cultivation schools in history. The old forces insist that Falun Gong practitioners must submit to their approaches to cultivation. If we accept their arrangements, it would not be cultivation at all. Teacher would never acknowledge it if we should choose to.
I don't think those tortures I had endured in prison were required to eliminate my attachments. At most, I had obtained a small amount of de (or virtue) and this de was not transformed into gong. First and foremost, Teacher will never acknowledge it. Secondly, my Xinxing level was not upgraded. Therefore, de could not be transformed into gong.
Likewise, coercion cannot change a practitioner's steadfast belief in Falun Gong. A practitioner who is genuinely cultivating Falun Gong cannot be coerced into giving up Falun Gong through tortures. Those practitioners who were coerced into giving up practicing Falun Gong must have been the ones who were not genuinely cultivating or were led by their strong attachments to make a foolish submission.
At first, I thought of myself as a steadfast practitioner. After all, I must be a qualified practitioner now that I had passed the "tests" in prison. I decided that I must be the type of person that Lao Zi mentioned, "When a wise person hears the Tao, this person will practice it diligently." However, my cultivation changed when I started working again. I slacked off more and more in my cultivation practice in the colorful world. I was even on and off in my cultivation practice. For nearly a year I didn't send forth any righteous thoughts or practice the Falun Gong exercises. It took me several weeks to finish studying a Falun Gong book. I did poorly in clarifying the truth about Falun Gong or persuading people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I visited the Minghui website once a week or every other week. One day, I finally decided that I would end up on a deviated path if I should allow this to continue. Before the CCP started the persecution on July 20, 1999, I was a very diligent Falun Gong practitioner. Although I had a very good job and a good life, I was able to upgrade my cultivation level very quickly because I was walking on the path Teacher had arranged for me. I could feel it myself. Every day I studied three lectures of Zhuan Falun and watched Teacher's Fa lecture videos. I was able to endure the pain during the sitting meditation. As a result, I was able to step forward to validate the Fa and clarify the truth about Falun Gong.
However, I stopped being diligent in my cultivation practice after I was released and re-entered the society. My xinxing level had dropped nearly to the level of an ordinary person. In other words, it does not take prison or torture for me to slack off in my cultivation. Judging from this, did the tortures in prison count as a test? Is one a qualified Falun Gong practitioner because he is determined in his cultivation practice and refuses to give up practicing Falun Gong? Not necessarily. This is because the old forces' arrangements or their so-called "tests" do not count at all. Not until now, had I been a terrible practitioner. I am at most an average person who hears the Tao. I have watched Teacher's Fa lectures to know that I must deny the old forces' arrangements. But I had accepted the old forces' so-called "tests."
In my opinion, those practitioners who have been imprisoned must study the Fa more after they are released, regardless of how they behaved in prison. I would recommend that they don't rush into doing Dafa work. It is especially important for those practitioners who have not studied the Fa or practiced the Falun Gong exercises for several years to realize that they are falling behind. They might run into more trouble if they don't pay special attention to studying the Fa. It will not be good to show up in the presence of fellow practitioners and mention how one has endured tortures in prison fearlessly. (It is a different matter to expose the facts of persecution in prison on the Minghui website.) To show off how one endured the persecution and torture is to acknowledge the old forces' arrangements. In my opinion, a practitioner who refuses to renounce Falun Gong in writing is no better than a good person based on the standard of everyday people. Children with filial piety in ancient Chinese stories would never vilify their own parents. How do we regard Teacher and the Fa?
I used to think highly of myself because I had endured tortures that an average person finds incredible. I took great pride in my endurance level. In hindsight, it was nothing at all. It is useless for a Falun Gong practitioner's cultivation to endure those tortures. A practitioner who follows Teacher's path by studying the Fa, practicing the Falun Gong exercises, clarifying the truth, sending forth righteous thoughts, paying attention to cultivation of their xinxing, will be able to eliminate his attachments and karma and grow his gong.
Teacher said,
"[...] always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank" ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference")
I realized that a practitioner's steadfast belief depends on following Teacher's Fa, cultivating himself diligently, doing the Three Things well and being a qualified Falun Gong practitioner. This is how we will return home.
