Rectifying Myself While Assisting in Fa-Rectification
- Be Clearheaded and Study the Fa, Look Inward, Do the Three Things Well
I am 58 years old and I am so happy that I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1996. Since then, I have realized what people live for. During my cultivation, Teacher has given me so much. I am not able to express in words how great Teacher's kindness is. I feel that I am the one of the happiest people in the world.
Before I started my cultivation, I had many illnesses, I was strongly opinionated and aggressive, and I often quarreled with my husband. After I started cultivating Falun Gong, all my illnesses disappeared, my temper calmed, and I no longer argue with others. The benefits I have received from the Fa are tremendous. After July 20, 1999, when Dafa began to be persecuted, I went to Beijing to appeal many times and was illegally arrested by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). While I was in the forced labor camp, I suffered cruel persecution and strayed from the cultivation path. In 2003 I came home. Through studying the Fa, I understood quickly what was wrong with me, although, my state was still not very good. I was not able to study the Fa much during the three years I was locked up, and I had not read most of the Teacher's newest lectures. So, I spent most of my time in 2004 and 2005 studying the Fa. Through studying the Fa with a tranquil mind, I understood the mission and historical duties of Dafa practitioners during the Fa-rectification period. We must not only cultivate ourselves well but also assist Teacher with validating the Fa, save ordinary people, and do the three things well.
Studying the Fa
Usually I read the Fa early in the morning. While I study, I get rid of all kinds of thoughts. I read at least one lecture of Zhuan Falun. Often I finish reading the whole book in one week. At night, I usually study Teacher's other lectures. In the summer of 2006, there were a few days that my attitude was not very good. Following fellow practitioners' suggestion, I read through the entire Zhuan Falun from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. the next day. I felt a little sleepy when I read Lecture Seven, but I kept on reading and then I became more energetic. After finishing the book, I didn't feel sleepy at all, and my brain was filled with the Fa, without any impure thoughts. I felt so comfortable. When sending forth the righteous thoughts, my body remained still and I did not sway as I had done before. I understood that the evils in my dimension were disintegrated by my non-stop reading of the Fa.
During the last several years, I have not watched any TV programs, and I have not participated in any ordinary entertainment activities. My favorite things to do involve Dafa, including sitting with both legs crossed, holding the Fa book in both hands and reading the Fa in tranquility. Teacher taught us: "The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts. " ("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II). Teacher has put his immense power into this Fa. I realize that if we study the Fa, Teacher will increase our gong and give us energy. All of our righteous thoughts result from the Fa.
Through studying the Fa and looking within, I also discovered my biggest, most difficult, and most fundamental attachment--to validate myself. This concept was acquired in human society, and it is not innate. I was imbued with the CCP culture since my birth. When my mentality of showing off came forth, I thought that I was better than others and I enlightened to higher principles than others. Sometimes I even wanted to help others' cultivation and enlightenment, but I also liked to look outside, and would not look inward at myself. All these are manifestations of typical CCP culture.
Sending forth righteous thoughts
I persist in sending forth the righteous thoughts four times each day, regardless of what kind of work I have to do. I always put my work aside to do it. I understand that nothing is more important than to rectify the Fa and to save people, because all human beings have come for this Fa. Usually I keep righteous thoughts in mind, keep the state of a cultivator, and keep sending forth the righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil. The purpose is to eliminate those evil beings and vile factors in other dimensions that persecute Dafa and practitioners, and it is to save ordinary sentient beings.
One night around 10:00 p.m., I went to a residential building to distribute CDs. There was a husky man standing at the entry of a stairwell. He was staring at me with his hands on his hips. I had a CD in my hands and I did not look at him. I sent forth a righteous thought: You must not move! He really did not move even a little; he just looked distracted and watched me leave. It was benevolent Teacher who strengthened me.
Clarifying the truth
My family worried a lot about the persecution I suffered. They were confused by the CCP's propaganda and did not understand. At first they were even conflicted about my validating the Fa. But I thought there must be a deep, predestined relationship between them and me, and I must save them! During the Spring Festival of 2004, more than 20 members of our big family got together at my mother-in-law's home. At dinner, I told them about the benefits I derived from cultivating. I said sincerely, "Before I practiced Dafa, I did not know to look inside myself and I often quarreled with my husband. Actually, I should be blamed for all of it. My husband has so many merits." All the family members sensed I had really changed and they were touched.
I clarified the truth to everyone I knew and tried to persuade them to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations, and the results have been good. I even clarify the truth to strangers. I do my best to explain so that they understand the situation as clearly as possible. After they are really clear about the truth, people often say that they will also tell their family members.
Break Out of Selfishness and Step Forward to Participate in Truth Clarification
For two to three years after I returned home from the forced labor camp, I just did the three things by myself, without much contact with fellow practitioners. I just waited and relied on others to provide me with informational materials. My thinking was that I had been targeted by the CCP and I should not go out very often. I did not even dare think about being a partner coordinator or setting up a material production center, etc. I thought I was not good enough for that. Later, some fellow practitioners talked to me and said, "You are a veteran practitioner; you should not always do things by yourself. You should come out and help us." Then I went out and participated in coordinating our team effort to validate the Fa. I did whatever it took. During the process, I experienced many things that indicate if we walk correctly, if we do as Teacher requires, if we break out of our selfish frame of mind, those events will touch us deeply.
Teacher taught us in "Be Clearheaded",
"If you, as a student [of Dafa], do not follow Master's requirements, it is definitely no simple thing. The old forces have arranged for all Dafa practitioners a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn't follow Master's requirements, he must be following the old forces' arrangements. The old forces are in essence gigantic trials and tribulations that accompany you at all times, focused on whether in Fa-rectification Dafa disciples are able to step forward."
"If after going through this ordeal some students are still not clearheaded, then they will miss [the opportunities presented in] all of this. Only when you follow Master's requirements are you validating the Fa and cultivating yourself as a Dafa disciple, and only then are you a true Dafa disciple."
We realized that, as Dafa practitioners during Fa-rectification period, we should do things as Teacher requires, each practitioner must walk his path, and we must not admit the immense tribulations arranged by the old forces. The old forces are not qualified to test us!
Going to prisons and forced labor camps to send forth the righteous thoughts
In September, 2006, Teacher published "Thoroughly Dissolve the Evil". We enlightened that we should send forth righteous thoughts with others toward those prisons and forced labor camps more often to get our fellow practitioners released. One time when we did this, several practitioners were captured. The rest of us wondered if we dared to continue. We all thought that we should not be frightened, instead, we should negate the arrangements of the old forces. So, we continued to do things with clearer heads and more reason. Even facing those policemen directly, we let go of ourselves, Teacher strengthened us, and we made it through those occasions with righteous thoughts.
Participating in preparing materials
Teacher said in "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference:"
"Whether you're doing things as a group or doing things individually, what you're doing is the same kind of thing, and that's what we mean by one entity. You're all clarifying the truth, sending righteous thoughts, and studying the Fa, so the specifics of the things you're doing are different but the division of roles is orderly, together there's a form, and separated there are particles. "
What is the entity? Teacher has already explained clearly. We should not regard a coordinator as our center. A coordinator is also a cultivator in Dafa; it is impossible for a coordinator to be absolutely correct. If his or her opinion conforms to Dafa, all of us certainly need to cooperate with him/her. If not, and you still listen to and cooperate with the person, we will not only damage Dafa but also harm the person, too. How do we harmonize our whole body? We all do Fa-rectification together to save sentient beings. To form a harmonizing body, every practitioner should be a coordinator and lay down his or her own notions. All practitioners have the same mission, and we must contribute our talents and energy to our projects and carry out our missions well. That is what Teacher requires of us, I think. While assisting Teacher with Fa rectification and saving sentient beings, we walk our own road well. We have set up as many family materials sites as possible, which will alleviate the pressure on the main production centers.
Getting out of my own "mental jail"
At the beginning of 2008, while preparing for the Beijing Olympic Games, the CCP stepped up its persecution of Dafa practitioners. I myself passed the hardest Xinxing test since July 20, 1999--to escape my own "mental jail."
On August 25, 2008, quite a few practitioners were captured in our area. I was very sad about it. They are such good practitioners and have done so much work for Dafa. Fellow practitioners always looked to them to do so many things that they had much less time to study the Fa and they were taken advantage of. Weren't we all responsible for their being persecuted? If we all had helped take on some of their duties, they would not have been so busy and would have had more time to study the Fa! How could we still blame them by saying they had loopholes and so forth? We should not increase their tribulations.
However, during those several months, my mind was filled with fear and I always felt someone was watching me. Because the police often harassed and captured practitioners late at night and into the early morning, I always went to bed wearing clothes. I kept the lights on and sent forth righteous thoughts at the proper times (although sometimes I was not very efficient and would fall asleep as I sat there). When I heard the police car at my front door and people talking, I sent forth righteous thoughts and found a while later that the police car had left. When I realized a gang of people had come to my door, I sent forth righteous thoughts that nobody was able to enter my house and then the voices disappeared. Sometimes I could see through my celestial eye that a few police cars surrounded my house. These situations lasted several months and caused me to lose much weight and I looked very thin.
Some fellow practitioners noticed that I was in a wrong state and reminded me that all these things happened because I was pursuing them! I looked inward and really understood that it was my own heart that was promoting them: 1) I had thought that my name was on the police "black list," which was the same as admitting to the arrangement of old forces. 2) I had too much fear and suspicion in my mind. 3) Most of all, the crucial point was that I had a wrong notion--that the Fa-rectification was nearing the end, and the evil was in its crazed death throes. It was like in the beginning when a car parked just at my front door, with the engine on all night, and two or three guys ready to accompany me everywhere. Due to my wrong notions, my fears and suspicions were exploited. Actually I had put myself in a "mental jail." Through studying the Fa and exchanging insights with fellow practitioners, I made a breakthrough with this "jail." I have enlightened that the most important thing is that we study the Fa as much as we can. The Fa is omnipotent, the Fa will guarantee that everything is well!
In April and May of 2008, the authorities really got serious. They made a "black list" and went to certain practitioners' home to catch them. Other practitioners reminded me to be careful and put relevant items in other practitioners' homes, etc. I considered it carefully and thought it was not an appropriate thing to do: We should not admit any of the arrangements of old forces. When the situation gets serious, we should change our actions! If we do, who feels happy? The authorities are glad! But Teacher is not, sentient beings are not. Besides, to transfer my stuff into other practitioners' homes would just make trouble for others! I believe that what Teacher says works! What Dafa practitioners say works! But what the authorities say does not work! As a Dafa practitioner, I only listen to Teacher, so I was not bothered by the "black list" and did what I wanted. That night I had a dream in which Teacher encouraged me and led my hand forging ahead. Teacher's hand was so warm. I really felt I was the happiest practitioner! All of myself dissolved into Teacher's immense grace.
In the last several years, I have been doing the three things. When I studied the Fa well and coordinated our whole body well, the three things were done well. Sometimes, however, the three things were not done well. Sometimes we felt sad, criticized ourselves, and even blamed fellow practitioners, but we could adjust quickly through studying the Fa and exchanging our insights. We learned lessons from it and did better the next time. Right now, I feel that, for doing the work of Dafa more, I do not have ample time to study the Fa. To study the Fa less, especially Teacher's more recent lectures, my ability to enlighten is adversely affected, and my efficiency is not as good as I expect it to be. To some extent, it is a human being doing Dafa's things. I have realized why I have not cultivated so well--I have a feeling of being "flashy but without substance." When facing an event I am not calm enough and I do not have a strong mind to do things. From now on, I will make the best use of my time to study the Fa, cultivate diligently, and overcome those bad habits such as my stubbornly adhering to my own opinions, doing things on my own, and so forth. I will positively consult with all other fellow practitioners, so we will do well with the Fa-rectification, saving sentient beings, completing our prehistoric vows, reaching consummation, and following Teacher to return our true origin.