Gradually Eliminating the Attachment of Fear in Genuine Cultivation
(Clearwisdom.net) I read an article in Minghui Weekly titled, "One Who Has the Strongest Fear." In comparing myself with the author of the article, my attachment to fear was even stronger.
The situation in 2000 was the most severe for me. One day on my way home from work, I saw a fellow practitioner who wanted to give me his new cell phone number. He also asked for my phone number. Hearing this, I quickly turned around and walked away. After jogging home, I threw myself onto the sofa. I started to shake and vomit as if I was having a very bad cold. Seeing me like that, my husband asked, "Are you alright? Why do you look so pale?"
In those days, I was frequently attached to fear. The feeling was incredibly miserable. It was impossible for me to go out and distribute truth clarifying materials, and to talk to people about Falun Dafa.
Now however, I not only tell acquaintances and my friends the truth of Dafa, persuading them to quit the CCP and its associated organizations, but I also tell strangers to quit. I even go out during the day time to distribute truth clarifying materials and post materials. It is all because of Master's guidance. I also study the Fa and the Minghui website. I have made great improvement, so I am writing down my personal experience here to share with fellow practitioners.
Back then, seeing that I was so strongly attached to fear, some fellow practitioners were worried about me, and they all tried to help me. One day at work, a practitioner called and told me that he was waiting for me downstairs to give me something. This fellow practitioner had been a student of mine. Somehow, I felt that I needed to take a big bag with me to see him. It turned out that he had three big two-inch-thick books, printed by practitioners from the Minghui website. The books are collections of fellow practitioners' experience sharing articles. I nervously took the books, while at the same time he told me word for word, "Find some time to read the books to the elderly practitioners in your area, but you should not select what articles to read. Instead, you should read every single one of them."
I immediately realized that Master was giving me a hint. I finished reading the three books in three nights. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and sometimes I could not help but cry loudly. I was deeply touched by fellow practitioners' profound endurance that had withstood huge pressure. I was furious with the evil force's wickedness and cruelty. At the same time, I deeply regretted that I had not been able to withstand a very light attack. The practitioners' stories in the books described how they helped Master to rectify the Fa while laying aside their personal concern for life or death. I was deeply touched by these stories. I asked myself, "We all study the same Fa, and follow the same Master, but why could they do something that I could not?" The three books of fellow practitioners' stories helped me to break through a big barrier, and the books also set up a solid foundation for my future cultivation. Thank-you Master! Thank-you Minghui website! Thank-you fellow practitioners!
Getting rid of fear is not as easy as it seems, and it is impossible to entirely eliminate it at once. We can eliminate fear gradually in genuine cultivation. Because of fear, when I talked to people about Dafa, some false scenes would sometimes appear just to dare me to see if I really intended to break through the tribulation. One day, I saw in the front entrance of our apartment building some truth-clarification materials beneath the wheels of the bikes parked in the hall way. Seeing that many materials on the ground hurt me tremendously. How much effort fellow practitioners had put into making them. I must pick them up. However, many people passed by that place. I strolled back and forth, and finally there was nobody around. Immediately I squatted down trying to remove the materials from under the wheels. However, I suddenly came up with a very strange thought: "These materials were put there by the personnel from the Security Section of my work place to trap practitioners. They must had set up a video camera nearby searching for the ones who had distributed Falun Gong materials." Thinking this, I started to feel nervous, but at the same time, I tried to get rid of the fear as well. Eventually I retrieved all the materials and put them in different places. I have come across numerous incidents like that, but each time after I passed through it, my attachment to fear became less severe. I believe that it is because I had the intention to eliminate my attachment of fear, that Master helped me to get rid of it in other dimensions.
When talking with people, I did not know how to convince people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its associated organizations. But I knew that we must harmonize with Master's requests, and assist Master with Fa-rectification. First of all, I read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party many times to eradicate the poison that the CCP has conditioned in me, in my mind, and to eradicate the influence of the CCP culture. Afterwards, I used every opportunity possible to convince people to quit the party.
I used to work at a grocery store in charge of the fruit section. One fruit pedaler was a very nice lady; so I decided to buy fruits from her and took the opportunity to clarify the truth to her. I told her of the miraculous power that Dafa had, and taught her to chant, "Falun Dafa is good," "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." We scheduled to meet the next morning for me to get the fruits that I ordered. When I got there early the next morning, she told me while holding my hands, "Thank you so much. Last night I chanted the words that you told me, hence I slept very well. When my son came this morning, he told me that I slept so well that I would not have awakened even if someone had come to take all of our fruits away. However, since I was very little, I have never had a good night's sleep. Because of that, I had seen so many doctors, and asked Gods to help me, but to no avail. This great Fa is so miraculous. I want to learn it too." On the third day, I gave her a copy of Zhuan Falun, and I also successfully helped her and her husband to quit CCP and its associated organizations. A few days later, I found out that she had returned to her hometown. I realize that I only had that one chance. She probably had been waiting for me for many years. If I had been too afraid to clarify the truth to her and convince her to quit CCP, I could not imagine what could have happened to her. Master arranges the opportunities for us, but we have to harmonize what Master wants us to do. This is what assisting Master to rectify the Fa really means. This is really how to offer salvation to sentient beings.
Very soon, I went to work on a different street where there was a vegetable market. Hence, I got a chance to talk to more people. I convinced people there to quit the CCP and its associated organizations. One of them left a very deep impression on me. He was a man in his 50s. After I told him the importance of quitting the CCP and such, he understood me, and repeatedly said, "I want to quit. I want to quit!"After that, he held his hands right there on the street, bowed to the sky, and said loudly, "Buddhas in the heaven above, I've quit the Young Pioneers. I have quit the Young Pioneers." I knew that his enlightened side knew how important it was to remove the remark of the beast. It was a call of real life recovery.
Sentient beings are waiting to being saved. We should be more diligent and best use our time to tell people the truth of Dafa and quit the CCP and its associated organizations. We should save more people. Only by doing so are we fulfilling the wishes that sentient beings have.
One day at a supermarket, I pondered how to talk to people. At that moment, a hand reached out to me and I heard a girl's voice saying, "Are you looking for this?" Raising my head, I saw this girl with a pair of bright eyes. Softly, she looked at me with the product that I was looking for. Telling her that she was a very beautiful girl, I thought about how I should save her. We began to talk. She told me that she was a college student, and was working in that store to make some money for school. I told her "Falun Dafa is good," and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." I also told her how quitting the CCP and its associated organizations could provide her with a bright future. She listened attentively and was happy to quit the CCP. She wrote the nickname that she gave herself to quit under. When departing, she said that she remembered "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." Her pure and bright voice echoed in my ears. If we want to clarify the truth to people, Master will make sure that people come to us. We are simply doing the task in this dimension. Everything has been arranged well by Master.
Whenever I think how I changed from a person full of fears to one with no fears at all, and that I have been able to catch up with Fa-rectification, I feel grateful. Dafa is magnificent and extraordinary. Thank you Master! Thank you fellow practitioners!