(Clearwisdom.net) I am a veteran Falun Gong practitioner. I started practicing Falun Gong in June 1994. Through practicing Falun Gong my illnesses have been healed and I have become a new person, especially with regard to my character.
Before the persecution began in July 1999, I would say I was barely diligent in my practice of Falun Gong. After the persecution began, I took pains to cultivate with the grave human attachment of fear and my cultivation status was unstable. My third eye is not open and I am not aware of the supernormal things that happen in cultivation. To urge me to be more diligent, Teacher kept giving me hints, repeatedly putting his poem in my mind:
Predestined ties of countless lifetimes
Each has Dafa as its guiding thread
'Tis in hardship the golden body is tempered
Why such slow and leisurely steps?
(The Difficult Path to Godhood (Hongyin Vol. II)
I knew I would never give up Falun Gong. So, considering my poor inborn quality and enlightenment, I decided to transcribe Zhuan Falun nine times and also to transcribe Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa, Zhuan Falun (Volume II) and Essentials for Further Advancement one time each. I also recited Zhuan Falun from memory seven times.
Next, I would like to write about how I went through the karmic test of disease. For many years, I constantly suffered from abdominal pain. I believed that I had practiced the exercises diligently and had saved many sentient beings by speaking person to person about the facts of the persecution. I even asked fellow practitioners to send righteous thoughts for me, but my gastric illness persisted. After reading several of the latest lectures, I started looking inward and thought about my cultivation.
Over the past year I had not recited any Fa, and failed to study the Fa with a calm mind. Doing the exercises was simply a formality, and when I talked to people about Falun Gong, I emphasized more the number of people I spoke to rather than focusing on the quality of my truth clarification. I could not become tranquil when I sent forth righteous thoughts because I thought my energy potency was not powerful enough, which is actually a manifestation of my lack of trust in Dafa and Teacher. I was lazy and liked to sleep as much as possible. With a strong attachment to enjoying a normal life, I anticipated that the Fa rectification could come to an end soon. Strongly influenced by my human notions, I did not negate the old force's persecution of me. Instead, I attributed my gastric illness to the fact that I had eaten too much. In addition, I failed to genuinely stick to what Teacher taught: "Eating, but caring not to taste--The palate's attachments severed." (Abiding in the Dao (Hong Yin)
One day, I had a conversation with a fellow practitioner. He suggested that I regard myself as a god and eat whatever I like as much as I want. He also told me to negate all arrangements by the old forces and try to be in control of myself. Then I began reciting Dafa again and corrected the inaccurate movements in my practice. I sent forth righteous thoughts more frequently, and began to seize the time to save sentient beings, improving the quality of my truth clarification. As a result, my gastric illness disappeared and my mentality was completely refreshed. My mind is always occupied by Dafa and my xinxing has improved significantly.
I hope my experience will help fellow practitoners with similar problems to take a look at themselves and enable them to do better in the final stage of Fa rectification. Above are just some personal understandings, please kindly point out anything improper.
