Some Thoughts on Resentment
(Clearwisdom.net) I have found a fundamental issue in my personal cultivation that I have not completely eliminated. It is resentment toward the Chinese people who oppose and hate Dafa. I do not accept them from the bottom of my heart. Even though I understand that I should treat them benevolently from the Fa perspective--and I try my best through my words and actions to treat them that way--I still don't truly treat them with compassion. For example, I have a relative who is very much against withdrawing from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). She tore up the copy of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party that I mailed to her, and I could not forgive her.
"As I've said, everything that happens today in ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples' thoughts. Even though the old forces do exist, if you don't have those thoughts they can't do anything." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
Our attachment to fear can cause the persecution to be even more cruel. Then wouldn't resentment cause non-practitioners to hate Dafa even more? Prior to my cultivation, I often sought vengeance. I cared too much about what other people said or did to me, and I was not very tolerant. When my feelings were hurt, it was hard for me to forgive and I would continue to hold that against them. Also, I hated evil like it was an enemy. I thought this was a good thing. In the CCP culture, there is a concept of "love and hate clearly distinguished." I thought that was a sense of justice. After the persecution started, in these past years, I have felt in opposition toward the people who oppose Dafa, yet I don't openly treat people that way.
I read a fellow practitioner's experience sharing article on the website. She worked with a person who often made unfriendl comments about Dafa. She did not have the courage to clarify the truth to this co-worker. She thought that it was too bad that this person had been so deeply poisoned by the CCP lies, so she sent forth a righteous thought, hoping this co-worker would meet another Dafa practitioner who had the courage to clarify the truth to him and save him so that he could have a wonderful future. It turned out later, when she met him again, that he no longer said anything against Dafa. He also showed respect for her and his attitude had completely changed. He even came to her to share his thoughts. After I read this article, I thought, "Good or evil comes from a person's spontaneous thought." It is very important for Dafa practitioners to cultivate compassion. Compassion is a kind of realm. It is not measured by the number of things one does. For a long time, I have been doing a lot of things, but I have not been focusing on cultivating compassion. My basis for clarifying the truth to the people who opposes Dafa was not pure. It was more like arguing with them, and my competitive mentality often surfaced. I was not doing it truly for their sakes.
Practitioners mentioned in their experience sharings that some practitioners who used to be very determined went astray. In fact, some of these practitioners felt resentment and had a strong mentality of doing anti-persecution things. On the surface, they seemed to be very determined, but they actually did not have the right basis and did not meet the standard of a cultivator.
Yesterday, I took my child to the hospital. I saw a two-year-old boy trying to play with some older children. The older ones were not friendly to him at first. The boy's mother was afraid of his being bullied, so she called him to her and told him that those kids were bad and he shouldn't play with them. But the child did not care much about what she said. He still tried hard to play with the older children. He was very friendly and happy, and soon the older children treated him in a friendly manner as well, and they played together like good friends. This made me realize that when we do not have hostility and are not stuck in our own notions, it becomes easy to change others with our compassionate intention. This is true even in the human world.
"But think about it, so many people who had severe health problems or incurable diseases before they learned the Fa became well after learning Dafa, so why is it that some students on the other hand can't make things work? Is it that Dafa makes distinctions among sentient beings? Is it that I, your Master, treat students differently? I really have to ask you: Are you truly cultivating? Have you truly followed Dafa's requirements? Are you clarifying the facts with the human mindset of disagreeing with the persecution of Falun Gong, or are you validating the Fa and saving sentient beings truly from the standpoint of a Dafa disciple?" ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
Recently I have realized that in the past several years, my mindset has not completely changed. Sometimes when I heard or met Chinese employees who were spreading the CCP poison and lies in foreign companies and had caused some Westerners to misunderstand Dafa, I really didn't like them. I felt that they were like malignant tumors in Western society. I do think this statement is correct, but my mindset was not right.
In the past I sensed this was an issue of mine, but I didn't realize how crucial it was until recently. For a long time I didn't focus on eliminating it. As a result, it still exists. Cultivation is serious. Master said, "A benevolent person always has a heart of compassion. With no discontentment or hatred, he takes hardship as joy." ("Realms" in Essentials for Further Advancement) Resentment belongs to evil people. It is very dangerous for practitioners to be unable to cultivate compassion.
This is my own understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.