(Clearwisdom.net) In July 2007, I went to my sister's home to clarify the truth and help her family quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). However, not only did my sister not agree to quit, I didn't follow a practitioner's standards and failed to study the Fa or practice the exercises. As a result, I developed some disease symptoms: my body felt like it wasn't working properly, I could not see well, I felt dizzy, and I had a headache. For some reason my appetite was not affected and I could still eat and drink. My sister said the symptoms were typical of diabetes; and she would know because both she and her husband have diabetes. My sister took me to the hospital for a check-up and the blood work showed that I had diabetes. The glucose level was 14.6 in my blood (normal is 4-7) and 4+ in my urine (normal is zero). At that time, my sister was receiving acupuncture at a local clinic, so I also had the acupuncture treatments for two weeks and my health improved somewhat.
After I came back from my sister's home the Olympics had begun and security was tight everywhere. Dozens of Dafa practitioners were arrested in our city. Due to the attachment of fear, I went to my brother's home and stayed there for a month. During that period, my heath was not very good.
When I returned home, my health deteriorated even more as my whole body felt run-down and it was hard for me to speak. I could not bear it any more and I remembered that my sister had told me that the situation would be better if I started insulin injections. I decided to take injections for relief and then I would be able to practice the exercises.
Since I had a strong attachment of fear, my husband watched me closely and didn't allow me to get in touch with any practitioners. I didn't study the Fa enough and my state-of-mind couldn't improve. In this way, I went to the hospital accompanied by my husband. The test results showed a blood glucose level of 18.8 and 4+ in my urine. Also, my heart wasn't receiving enough blood, and I had a cataract and a tumor in my right eye. The doctor told me to admit myself to the hospital by the following day.
On my way back home, I ran into fellow practitioner "A" who asked me what I was doing. I said I had just been to the hospital for a health assessment. A said, "How can a practitioner have an illness?" and told me that it was an illusion. She told me not to accept it or worry about the diagnoses. A asked me, "Why don't we go to practitioner B's home and share?" I agreed to go.
In the afternoon, we went to practitioner B's home, where A and B both shared with me that my health situation would only improve if I improved my understanding of the Fa. At that time, my body felt very uncomfortable and I was miserable and could not listen to what my fellow practitioners were telling me. I was thinking that it was easy for them to say these things because they weren't experiencing the disease symptoms. Whatever they said, I would still go to the hospital the next day for treatments.
Later, we sent forth righteous thoughts together and after that my thinking changed. I could accept what A and B had told me. They said, "We are cultivators. When there is a problem, we cannot evaluate it with human notions and we need to look inside." The three of us each looked inside ourselves. At this time I recalled my recent cultivation state. Though I am also doing three things, I was not diligent, and I had become idle and numb. I only studied one lecture every day and I could not concentrate or understand the Fa principles; so my Fa understanding could not improve. When I encountered tribulations, I treated them with human principles. Consequently, when my body began feeling uncomfortable, I believed that I had an illness.
When I looked inside further, I realized I had a strong attachment of fear. When I heard that some practitioners had been arrested, I felt unsafe and that I was in danger. I didn't want to contact practitioners for a period of time. The more afraid I was, the more closely my husband watched me, and he didn't even allow me to leave home for small errands. Therefore, I didn't do as well as I had in the past to validate Dafa and didn't catch up with the great current of the Fa rectification. Thus, I left loopholes for the evil and my body was persecuted. I followed the path that was arranged by the old forces.
I suddenly enlightened to the fundamental reasons for the persecution I was experiencing: I didn't have strong enough righteous thoughts, had no clear understanding of Dafa principles, I was not able to change my notions, and had the attachment of fear. I remembered the Fa principles that Master had told us,
"You are not in any way beings of the Three Realms, and you are no longer ordinary persons. That is why when your righteous thoughts are strong you can resolve any problem. The sickness karma that appears in your body manifests as a test. Of course it appears to be sickness karma, as it definitely won't have the appearance of a god getting ill. So you should handle it with righteous thoughts. You are a cultivator, so it is definitely not in fact sickness. " ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Yes, I am a practitioner and how could I have any disease? How clearly Master had explained the Fa principles, and why hadn't I enlightened to it?
Then, I remembered that when I was visiting my sister I had wanted to go for acupuncture treatments. Several times my sister refused to take me. Now, I enlightened that Master was using my sister's mouth to give me a hint. At that time I could not enlighten to it, so I took a wrong way. I felt really ashamed when I looked back.
After I improved my understanding, my body and mind felt extremely relaxed and happy. I said to the practitioners, "I will not go to the hospital any more. I need to make best use of my time to study the Fa and practice the exercises, do the three things well, as Master has told us to do, and deny all of the old forces' arrangements. Therefore, that evening, I went to a practitioner's home and studied the Fa, practiced the exercises, and shared together.
On the second day, I felt that I changed to another person. All my symptoms disappeared and everything in my body went back to normal. I know that Master took the tribulation for me. I could not find any words to express my gratitude to Master. I said to my husband, "Now my body is fully recovered. I have to spend time with fellow practitioners and do Dafa work. In the past, my heavy attachment of fear led to my health problems. I know you care about me. If you really care, please don't restrict me in the future. I will handle myself properly, so please don't worry." My husband saw my physical and mental changes and he also changed. Now when I go out to join group study or to validate Dafa, he does not try to stop me.
I realized that "Once we change our thoughts, everything will change." I came back to the great current of the Fa rectification and now study the Fa well, cultivate myself, strive forward diligently to save more sentient beings, and follow Master Li to return home.
