Letting Go of Attachments and Harmonizing the Family
(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained Dafa in July, 1995. At first, my understanding toward Teacher and Dafa languished at the perceptual level. I paid more attention to practicing the exercises but had less appreciation of cultivating my xinxing. Once, while I was reading Chapter 9 of Zhuan Falun with a tranquil mind, suddenly a bluish golden beam of light flashed out from the book, accompanied by a thunderous sound. When I regained my composure and looked closely, I saw a huge word "cultivate" appear before my eyes. It was just like what Teacher said in "Lecture at the First Conference in North America",
"Only through your continuous advancement during the course of practicing cultivation can you yourself gradually understand or enlighten to it. When you read the Fa, the Fa will point it out to you."
Teacher used this method to encourage me to cultivate diligently. From that point on, I began to cultivate solidly and looked inward whenever I encountered problems. My xinxing elevated rapidly.
Several times when I came home after practicing the exercises, my husband waited for me at the door and scolded me. I did not say anything. Once my younger brother happened to see this. He said, "He is too overbearing." I told him, "You don't understand. It is all right." Whenever my husband treated me this way, I would recall Teacher's words from Zhuan Falun,
"Maybe as soon as you walk in the door, your spouse blows up right in your face. If you can endure it, today's exercises weren't in vain."
I thought that since I was a practitioner, I needed to watch my xinxing and bear my own tribulations. One morning when I was cooking, my husband yelled at me, "You are doing it all wrong!" I retorted, "Why don't you do it then?" He immediately slapped me twice in the face. I was not upset at all and said, "Thank you." He was stunned. After he went back to his room, I thought, "He dared to hit me like that. If this happened before I started cultivation, I would have fought with him in no time. But as a cultivator, I should not stoop to his level." Then, my brother came and asked me for my bike. Without any hesitation I said, "Why don't you take it?" So he rode away with the bike that I had bought only a year ago.
Through continuous cultivation, I benefited a great deal, and the six ailments I had were all gone. My husband witnessed the wonder of Dafa and began to cultivate in 1997. Soon after, he developed a radiant glow in his face, and everyone said that he looked much younger. His temper was also much improved. Through continuous Fa study, his xinxing elevated and he went from not being able to sit in the half-lotus position to being able to sit in the full lotus position for an hour. He has studied and recited the Fa, and he practiced the exercises with me every day. We worked together and created a solid cultivation environment at home. His progress was indeed very fast.
Since July 20, 1999, practitioners have been persecuted. I went to Beijing to validate Dafa twice, and I was arrested, sent back and put in jail for 15 days. Once I attended a Fa conference and was arrested. The police were planning to put me in a forced labor camp. With Teacher's help, I walked out of the jail after nine days. Seeing that I was arrested repeatedly, my husband was scared and did not dare to do the exercises anymore. He also tried to stop me from doing them. I told him solemnly that my life was given by Dafa and no one could sway my determination to cultivate. Seeing that I was so steadfast, he said, "OK, then why don't you do the exercises at home, and don't go to Beijing again." I told him, "Beijing is the capital city, and anyone can go. I will go whenever I can." He was angry after hearing this and slapped me a dozen times. While slapping me, he said angrily, "Go ahead and go to Beijing!" Tears streamed down down my face. I felt he was too pitiful and it was so lamentable. That night I thought about it a lot, and finally I understood what it meant when Teacher said that saving a person is very, very difficult.
In order to stop me from contacting fellow practitioners, my husband locked all the doors at home and locked me in my room. I thought to myself, "OK, I'll just study the Fa at home and clarify the facts to him." He said to me, "It is useless telling me these things. The more you talk about it, the angrier I will get." So I stopped. Teacher said that we need to look inward whenever we encounter a problem. I looked inward to find my own shortcomings and eventually found my attachment, which was my fear. Soon after I found my attachment, he opened the door and said, "How come I cannot lift my arm?" I told him, "You are getting what you deserve." He became quiet.
At the time the evil was quite rampant. People from the police station, 610 Office, and local community center came to harass me from time to time. Once two policemen came and asked, "Do you still practice Falun Gong?" I said firmly, "Sure I do." They were stunned. I said to them, "This practice is just so good. One would be crazy not to do it." Then I told them the facts as I have experienced them. They said to me, "OK, why don't you stay home and do it then."
But whenever a politically sensitive day came, they would come to my home to harass me again. I told my husband not to open the door next time they come and not to cooperate with them. He said, "I am getting on in years, and I am scared even if you aren't. Let us get a divorce." I said: "OK. Let's do it then." As I said it, tears streamed down my cheeks. Seeing my response, he did not say anything more. But whenever people from the police station or the community center came, he would threaten to divorce me. Later I realized that it was not right going on like this. I looked within to find attachments, and found that it was sentimentality that I had not let go of. Later when he suggested getting a divorce again, I no longer cried. I said calmly, "If you are afraid of being persecuted because I practice Falun Gong, I can sign the papers. But you should realize that you once also benefited from the practice yourself. How can you side with the evil?" He smiled at me, and from then on he never mentioned divorce again.
In the past, the evil used my husband's attachment of fear to interfere with me. Although it did not sway my steadfast belief in Teacher and Dafa, deep down I began to resent him. Because I spent all day doing Dafa work and often left him at home alone, he complained. When the difficulties at home got worse, I even had the thought of getting a divorce. Fellow practitioners often reminded me that I needed to pay attention to the relationship with my husband. Some said, "It looks like you have done very well in all other aspects, but why can't you do well at home?" I was speechless whenever they brought this up.
I was studying and memorizing the Fa every day, but I was still handling things using human notions and not enlightening to the Fa from the Fa. I did not look at things based on the Fa and regarded this persecution as human beings persecuting other human beings. Since July 20, 1999, Teacher has not arranged any tribulations for practitioners. It was all my own attachments that I had not let go of, allowing the evil to exploit my loopholes.
Amidst tribulations, my husband complained and I did as well. Two people's complaints were added together and amplified by the evil, and we fell right into their trap of endless family conflicts. Teacher wants us to follow "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance". Although I was able to have tolerance, it was still far from the true, grand tolerance that is required. While sharing experiences with fellow practitioners in the past few years, they pointed out to me that I could be more compassionate and less competitive. After looking inward, I found I indeed had these problems. Through studying the Fa and reading the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I found the source of the problem. My lack of compassion and my competitiveness were the result of being poisoned by the communist party culture. As practitioners, we follow the law of the cosmos and cultivate "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance". Since my husband and I had a very deep predestined relationship to be husband and wife, and he was also my fellow practitioner previously, our mission in this world is to help Teacher and save sentient beings. How can we not cherish this predestined relationship?
From that point on, I began to hold myself to the standard of Dafa to conduct myself at home. I let go of my attachments and tried to harmonize my family. I treated my husband well and took good care of him. I paid attention to his daily life, let him know when I was going out, and showed concern for his wellbeing. In this way, the atmosphere at home improved dramatically. Once he was hospitalized for a heart condition and wanted to come home after only a day. As he walked in the door, he said, "This home is just so nice." I took the opportunity to urge him to resume cultivation. At the end of last year, he began to cultivate again. He made solemn declarations on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website to void his actions and words that were disrespectful to Dafa and Teacher in the past.
Once I asked him why he resumed cultivation. He said that it was because I was able to do so well. After he resumed cultivation, we have restored the cultivation environment at home. In spite of the ups and downs of the last ten years, we have nonetheless made it out of the quagmire and are proceeding diligently on the path of Fa-rectification cultivation under Teacher's guidance.