In a Few Words: Do Not Talk Back
Arguing and justifying one's thoughts and actions to others, are common behaviors for some practitioners. In my own case, when others were explaining themselves, I would also try to explain myself. But this behavior went against my natural inclinations, and I would always felt bad afterwards. I eventually came to realize that, as a Falun Dafa disciple, what motivated these explanations was very important. While it is fine to briefly explain something in order to clarify an issue, becoming obsessed by thinking one's opinion is the only correct one is not at all acceptable. To even find oneself in such a position, deep down in the heart there must be attachments to validating one's self. Where there is argument, there is always an attempt, whether intentional or not, to validate oneself. These are attachments that a practitioner must eliminate.
One of the basic principles of the Fa is:
"as a practitioner one should not fight back when being punched or insulted." (Zhuan Falun, 2000)
When we are arguing or rationalizing our actions, isn't this like talking back? Of course, when a conflict comes along, it doesn't count if it doesn't provoke us, but when a conflict manifests, a practitioner should not think about the instigator's manner, or whether he or she is right or wrong. More importantly, when faced with disagreements, we should look inside ourselves and ask: "Why did this matter come up for me? Am I holding on to attachments that need to be released?" When conflicts occur between two practitioners, usually both of them have something that needs to be improved. If we only look at the other practitioner's faults, or if the other practitioner doesn't realize that he or she needs to cultivate in this conflict, is that any reason for us to stop cultivating ourselves? Certainly not: if we do not cultivate ourselves, then we are not meeting the requirements of true Falun Dafa disciples.
After I learned how "not to talk back" in my own life experiences, many conflicts became easier to handle. Passing certain tests is no longer as painful as it used to be, and I have a new view of these conflicts from before.