(Clearwisdom.net) Xiao Lian, Xiao Xiang and I organized a Falun Gong truth-clarification materials production site. We had been working well together. One day, a fellow practitioner asked us to make a batch of truth-clarification VCDs. I didn't have money to make the VCD's, so I talked to Xiao Lian and asked if she would be willing to pitch in. Xiao Lian gladly agreed and said she would meet me the next day and give me the money for the supplies. On the following day, she came and told me that Xiao Xiang had the money but she did not approve of the project. I didn't say anything to Xiao Lian, but I started brooding. After I returned, I thought, "Was it wrong for me to solicit a donation from Xiao Xiang? It is such an urgent matter to save people." I was morose and gloomy. I didn't do the volunteer work I had promised because I was so upset with Xiao Xiang. Then I read Minghui Weekly and came across an excellent article. I started searching inward and realized that I was not behaving like a Falun Gong practitioner, as I had been seeking fault in others. I needed to look inward for my own attachments. It does not matter who pays for the VCDs because the situation was just a reflection of the root cause in my heart. In other words, it is only an illusion created to test me. Later when I met Xiao Xiang, I shared with her my honest understanding of this issue. Xiao Xiang said, "If you had come to me yesterday [without looking inward] I wouldn't have given the money for the VCDs." We smiled at each other understandingly. Then she gave me the money and we had the truth-clarification VCDs made.
One day we brought a printer back to our site. Xiao Xiang said we should put it in a chest to reduce the noise of printing. She said she had seen it done by our predecessors at the truth-clarification materials site. After Xiao Lian and Xiao Xiang carried the printer to a chest, I started to run the printer. It was a low chest, so I had to bend over to work the printer. After bending over for a short while, I started to develop a headache. I became a little nauseated and agitated. Gradually, I started losing my temper. I kept complaining while printing truth-clarification materials. "Are you sure this is a good idea? Aren't we slowing down our production?" Xiao Xiang started arguing with me and losing her temper as well. I expected her to recant her decision and move the printer out of the chest, but she didn't do so. I became increasingly emotional. Finally Xiao Lian and I moved the printer out of the chest without Xiao Xiang's approval. It was then we discovered that all the printed materials were completely messed up. We printed out a new batch, but they didn't look much better. I became furious.
Then I dropped everything at hand. I calmed down and thought, "What am I doing? What is the point of losing my temper or being morose and gloomy? The old forces will exploit it when I feel anxious or upset." Next, I made a conscious effort to say determinedly to myself in my heart, "I refuse to acknowledge the old forces! I am determined to deny the old forces!" I thought for a moment and realized that I was partially responsible for all the problems we had been facing since the printer entered the door. The degenerate matter in my thoughts had a negative influence on Xiao Lian and Xiao Xiang. When I found my problem, I apologized to them. Suddenly, the tension among us disappeared and soon we were able to print the materials normally.
Afterwards I tried to evaluate myself according to the Fa. Why did I fail to seek inward right away when I ran into obstacles? Why had I always sought the faults in others as my first response? I am a cultivator with so many attachments to be eliminated. It is necessary to expose all of my attachments in conflicts in order to identify and eliminate them. Hence, I should treasure each and every opportunity to cultivate myself and upgrade my xinxing. Only when we purify ourselves will we be able to purify our environment.
