Clarifying the Facts to My Dad
(Clearwisdom.net) I read some articles on Clearwisdom Net in which practitioners reminded each other not to forget to clarify the facts to friends and relatives around us. Reflecting on my experience in clarifying the facts to my dad, I felt that it was in the process of cultivation and clarifying the facts that I grew more and more matured. At the same time, I came to the understanding that only with benevolence can one truly offer salvation to others.
When I first clarified the facts to my dad, he would talk with me for a while on the topic. This made me feel that it was easy to let him know the truth. But later on, what my mother told me was like a blow on the head. When he met with some people who spoke ill about Dafa, my dad also said something bad about Dafa. My mother told me that he once complained angrily that his daughter wasn't much help to him when he was having difficulties.
Only then did I realize that what my dad said in front of me was only for being polite. In fact there were a lot of things about me that he was not satisfied with. I thought with complaint: "I managed to visit my parents despite a heavy schedule, yet my father was not satisfied. How was I supposed to know that he had trouble if he never spoke up?"
Knowing that my dad had misunderstandings about Dafa, I intentionally talked about Falun Gong on each visit. This went on for some time. One day, I discovered that when I talked about Falun Gong, my dad would suddenly frown and stop talking. Seeing his reaction, I became anxious and irritated. I was anxious because I had been working so hard to clarify the facts to him, yet I saw regression instead of improvement. I was irritated because he didn't know the truth and he refused to listen. Even though I knew he didn't want to listen, I was still thinking, "You have to listen because it is good to you."
Every time on our way home, I kept complaining to my husband about my dad's attitude, "How could he be poisoned so much by the deceitful propaganda while living outside of China?" I also complained about his poor enlightenment qualities. Concerned about his dissatisfaction with me, I visited my parents less frequently.
Whenever I have something bothering me, I remember teacher's words, "As long as you study the Fa earnestly, you can overcome any difficulty." (Falun Buddha Fa: Lecture at the First Conference in North America) I knew that as long as I studied the Fa, I would be able to get past the problem in clarifying the facts to my dad. With constant Fa-study, I gradually changed. I no longer regarded visiting my parents in my limited spare time to be a sacrifice. I no longer tried to make a special effort to visit them. I realized that I ought to use my spare time to visit them. On my previous visits I only had dinner with them and felt that I had done my duty. But now I spent time talking to them and listening to their stories. I also asked whether they had any English letters that needed translation since they don't speak English. I did not bring up the topic of Falun Gong directly. Instead, I printed out truth-clarifying articles from websites for their reference. Once my mother told me, "Your dad is reading "The Journey of Return."
Last New Year's Day, we had diner in a restaurant with my parents. I told them a story about when I first started to cultivate. I was surprised to hear my dad's comment on that. He sounded like a practitioner. My husband couldn't help asking, "Are you secretly reading the book?" My dad smiled shyly and hurried to eat.
Though I had seen some good signs and my mother didn't give me any more "bad news", when I mentioned the topic to my dad again, he was still trying to avoid it. So I wasn't sure whether he indeed knew the truth of Dafa and had a fundamental change in his attitude.
One day I planned with my husband to have diner at my parents house the next day. I told him, "I was going to help my dad be saved." At that time I was thinking that I would open my heart to communicate with him and listen to what he thought, rather than force-feed him the truth.
The next day while helping in the kitchen, I asked, "Dad, what we practitioners are doing is letting people know the truth about Falun Gong. If we didn't do well in some aspects and pushed people away from getting to know the truth, it was unintentional. From your point of view as a third party, please tell us what we have done wrong so that we can improve." When saying this I found that I was in such a calm state and was completely sincere. I was expecting that he would pour out all of his dissatisfaction upon me. Therefore, I was surprised to hear him say, "It is a battle between good and evil. The good is always right no matter how they do it." All of a sudden my eyes filled with tears and I hurried to the bathroom.
Reflecting on how I used to clarify the facts to my dad, I came to realize that I wasn't even aware of the mindset I had, i.e. "I am the practitioner. I know the truth. You don't practice, so you don't know anything. Let me tell you what it is." With such a lofty attitude, how can people easily accept the facts that we are trying to clarify? In addition, my heart was moved by human thoughts when he wouldn't listen to the truth.
I exchanged my experience with another practitioner: "It is important to be a good daughter and carry out a daughter's responsibility and duty. While clarifying the facts to loved ones, it is critical not to involve any human sentimentality."
The day after Falun Dafa Day this year, I went to see my parents with my husband. In our chat, I said, "Dad, do you remember so and so? Her husband strongly supports Falun Dafa and does a lot of work for Dafa. It's just that he isn't practicing. Teacher says that people like that belong to the next group to attain the Fa." Having said that, I heard my dad's voice from the other side of the room, "I am in the next group, too."
On September 3, 2002