"I must go to the International Human Rights Commission, and express my concerns. I want to speak out from my heart, even though it may not prevent all the torture and killing in China, nor can it send God's blessing and peace to the people who are begging for love, nor can it let all people live with dignity and enjoy their freedom. It is only for justice, understanding, tolerance and morality. I must go, just like I must walk out of my small world. The true belief of "Truth, Benevolence and Forbearance" is often costly. If this is the only solution, I will face it with calmness despite the expensive price I have to pay."

I am reading this three-page long normal letter, written on the back of some waste paper. This is the work from an ordinary engineer, a practitioner of Falun Gong, and a person who was labeled as a member of an evil cult by the Chinese government. He is also my husband. The letter continued as follows:

"Don't you remember that painting? A young woman was kissing Jesus' toe, who was nailed to the cross. You said this painting is so wonderful. True belief in benevolence requires much courage. This truth can be seen in the example of the woman who believes in her God. Should the practitioners who truly believe in Falun Gong be tortured and murdered just because they wish to share their accumulated wisdom of "Truth, Benevolence and Forbearance" with other human beings? Are they not as respectable as the young woman merely because they chose a different god? I felt from my heart that the painting shows the value of faith and beliefs and completely displays the young woman's courage. Faith is a virtue that comes from selflessness, which can lead to true belief in benevolence and courage. I must go and fulfil my responsibilities, for the people who have the same virtue, for those faithful Falun Gong practitioners. I will try my best to stop this cruel persecution in China."

I was deeply moved. He finally left a week ago, although I wanted him to stay longer. He left me this three-page letter and its deep impact on my heart. Before reading the letter, I had opposed his trip and because in my mind the stronger force always defeats the weaker and there is never real justice in this world. The king's wish is always above that of the public and it has become the Chinese tradition -- if the governor wants an ordinary person to die, he or she must obey. Underneath the decorative banners of the current Chinese government, one of which is called "serving the public", it is still the same evil mentality: I will wipe out your whole family if you do not obey me. As ordinary citizens, we don't have to take such a risk. Is it worthy to take a whole week off and spend half of the family savings just to express one's support without any guaranteed outcome? When I was still busy evaluating the meaning and cost of this trip, my husband, who is a Falun Gong practitioner and also labeled as a member of an evil cult, took off.

"It is inevitable that we have our differences in our opinions on true benevolence, true god and true beliefs, etc. and the debates will be carried on in the future. But please put your opinion aside and look at the cruel facts in China on violation of human rights. I believe our benevolent hearts will not ignore the value of life. We should stop this cruel persecution. We should know that any murders are illegal even if some people label them as lawful. A similar example was the invasion of Japan, which was explained as a step forward for East Asia. It is like how many people were murdered in the Cultural Revolution for they were labeled as public thieves. It is also the same for the treatment that members of Falun Gong are experiencing today: fingers are inserted with bamboo sticks, broken bone and teeth, and eleven people have been murdered. This inhuman torture is justified in that it saves these confused and uneducated people. Those people who are forced to have hunger strikes, those that are taken to the mental hospital and injected with harmful chemicals, also have children, but they are facing the crisis of death every moment. I must go to Geneva, to be a person of true belief, just like the goddess in that painting. I wish China, the other side of the world, can hear my crying for benevolence and tolerance."

His letter ends, however my heart cannot remain calm. I must be frank; I was skeptical when I first heard that a member of Falun Gong was beaten to death. I thought it must be a rumor. It is impossible to beat a live human being to death. A few days ago, I read a report from the human rights center in the newspaper. I then found out it was real. I read the appeal letter from Ms. Xue Ling Zhang whose mother was beaten to death. She described the horrible scene: "When we finally saw my mum's body, it was dressed in clean clothes and had make-up put on. Underneath the clothes, however, there are bruises everywhere and large areas of dark purple marks on her front upper body and all teeth had fallen off and traces of blood could clearly be seen even though the body was washed. Mum's clothes and underwear in the yard were covered with excrement and all clothes were torn." I was very sad after I read that report and felt that it was so unfortunate for this elderly person to die. I was very upset for one whole day, however, the next day I forgot about this matter when the warm sunlight woke me up. Birds were singing and the flowers were blooming, spring was here. The sad story I read the previous day became only a memory.

This time, the letter from my husband and the fact that he is away from home makes me feel like I have lost my own family. If I were in China, would he still be able to come back for my family, for those who lost their own families? In order for many more people not to lose their own families, I must stand up and tell all those people who can listen to me: those Falun Gong members are neither robbers nor thieves. They are not violent and they are not evil. They are only people with true beliefs. I will testify for their innocence. I want to join them in an appeal for the benevolence of mankind.

(Translated Apr. 6, 2000)