(Clearwisdom.net) In its persecution of Falun Dafa, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has fabricated many lies to defame the practice.
One day a fellow practitioner told me a story about an elderly practitioner who was illegally imprisoned. During her imprisonment, the guards made up many lies to deceive her. A guard lied to her, saying that Teacher lived abroad with expensive clothes and food, a house and a car, and that Teacher had a very comfortable life. The elderly practitioner earnestly listened to what the guard said and often asked, "Is that true? Really?" After the guard assured her it was true (the guard was certainly trying to deceive her), the practitioner then said, "My Teacher isn't suffering--I feel so relieved!"
The practitioner didn't think about whether she was being deceived by the guard or not, her first thought was that, after Teacher left his hometown to live abroad, Teacher's living situation was good and safe. However, what I have cared about was myself, and I have used an ordinary people's mentality to think of Falun Dafa and Teacher. It's indeed sinful! The difference in levels between that practitioner and mine is huge. I found my deplorable attachment of selfishness. Our merciful Teacher has given up everything to save sentient beings. It is a billion practitioners' wish for Teacher to worry less and less. I fell deeply ashamed facing Teacher.
My selfishness manifested in different ways, such as, while looking inward to find my shortcomings, I could look inside only if it did not interfere with my self interest, otherwise I would push it away; while experiencing a test, if I felt I could not endure it, I would fight back; while sharing experiences with fellow practitioners, I would protect myself by pointing out others' shortcomings, otherwise I wouldn't talk about them; while trying to persuade people to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations, I would try to find people I knew to talk to because it was safe. Everything I did had a condition and a premise.
Master told us,
"There is no precondition for practicing cultivation, and one should practice cultivation if one wants to." ("Lecture One" from Zhuan Falun 2000 translation version)
I realize that believing in Dafa and Teacher has no precondition. Only by believing in Dafa and Teacher can one be considered a true disciple and practitioner.
