Improving My Xinxing in the Process of Clarifying the Truth
(Clearwisdom.net) It was very hard for me when I first tried to advise people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations, but the results were good when I put in the effort. For example, the first person I helped to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations (hereon referred to as simply the CCP) was a villager I met after I had walked a long way. The person quickly withdrew after I talked to him. I was so encouraged by his withdrawal that I was able to help three people in a row withdraw from the CCP. The next day was the same. The first person I advised withdrew right away. I knew it was Teacher helping me and encouraging me. Later, however, it was not as easy. Sometimes I could not get even one person to withdraw. When I calmed down and thought about it, I realized that I had an attachment to the number of people I helped. I also liked to pick the people I would advise, such as the ones who looked friendly. I also had an attachment to fear. After studying the Fa, I was able to let go of these attachments,and the results of advising people to withdraw from the CCP became better again. So I got into this habit: when I was advising someone that was difficult to persuade, I would look inward and cultivate myself. I know the reason that people could not be saved was because I did not cultivate myself well.
For several months, I was only able to advise three to five people per day to withdraw from the CCP. After I memorized "Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005" and "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles," I understood that clarifying the truth and advising people to withdraw from the CCP is a skill, and improving this skill is closely related to one's cultivation state.
"...whichever field you might be in, when you are able to improve your skills, that is a reflection of your having continually risen in realm. And people can see that you are a good person and someone who cultivates his or her heart and mind. From the vantage point of human beings, you are becoming a good person. As a result of studying the Fa and cultivating your inner self, you do better and better, and gods give you the wisdom you deserve and give you inspiration so that you can come to realize a lot of things while you study, create better things, improve your technique, and reach beyond." ("Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles")
Once I understood the Fa, I was able to cultivate myself at work and at home, looking inward when conflicts arose, following the Fa and continually improving my xinxing and realm. I was able to refrain from striking back when attacked and from swearing back when sworn at. My heart remains calm when I am accused, and I was able to look inward when criticized. As my "xinxing" improves, so is my realm and the result of advising people to withdraw from the CCP also improves. Thus I was able to help five or six people withdraw every day, sometimes seven or eight.
Afterwards, I encountered a similar cycle: I was only able to help three or five people to withdraw every day for a period of time. Then a fellow practitioner gave me a book entitled, "Get rid of Jealousy." When I first saw it, I thought, what jealousy do I have? After I finished the reading the book, I realized that my attachment to jealousy was so strong that I didn't even notice it. I was jealous of other practitioners who were doing well, so I did my best to show others how well I did. I was jealous of co-workers. When my husband spent lots of money, I felt uncomfortable, etc. Once I found the attachment, I started to get rid of it. As I advised people to withdraw from the CCP after I made some improvements, it again went smoothly. I continually discover my attachments and continually get rid of them, and I am in the process continually improving my level.
A few days ago, I went to an area outside of the city to distribute the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party without thinking about how many people I would impact. I was able to give out eight copies of the Nine Commentaries. I handed out a dozen copies of truth-clarifying materials. Ten people withdrew from the CCP and its affiliated organizations on that trip. I went out around 9:30 a.m. and got back by 11:30 a.m. In the process, I had experienced Teacher's Fa:
"He comes with Truth that gives him free reign
And travels the four seas with a free and easy spirit
The Fa's principles spread throughout the world
His Fa Boat sets sail, loaded full with sentient beings"
(Hong Yin Volume II, "Tathagata")
One day, I went out to clarify the truth. After half an hour, I had spoken to no one. I collected myself and started to look inward. I remembered a story: there was a stone carving master who had two students. One day, the master wanted to see how good his students' stone carving skill was. He told them to go and carve a Buddha statue. After a year, the younger student came back and told his master that he had carved one thousand Buddha statues and the older student had only carved one statue. The master later found out that the older student carved out a huge Buddha statue, which is the Buddha statue of Le Mountain. The younger student, however, had carved one thousand small Buddha statues. Of course, that's only a story. I thought that I wanted to be like the older student, not wanting fame or reward, but just wanting to clarify the truth steadfastly; I wanted to save people by letting them know the truth, not by just having them withdraw from the CCP and be done with it. Even if I only helped one person to withdraw, I would do my best as if I was carving a huge Buddha statue. My xinxing rose. After that, I decided that if I were to talk to one person, I would make him/her really understand the truth and save that person. I gave out a DVD of the Divine Performing Arts Chinese Spectacular and other truth-clarifying materials along the way. From 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m., I was able to help eleven people withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations.