Falun Dafa Has Melted the Ice in My Heart
(Clearwisdom.net) My home is in a small town in a northeastern province. Embraced by the Light of Buddha, we three brothers, Da-ge (eldest brother), Er-ge (second elder brother), and I live happily together on adjacent corners within the same courtyard.
Three years ago, however, the situation was very much different. I was just released from a forced labor camp and my wife divorced me and married someone else. At the time, my morale was low and I was very depressed. Adding to the wound, I could hardly imagine that the man my wife left me for was the brother of Er-sao (Er-ge's wife), and it was my sister-in-law who had matched them up. Er-sao is much older than Er-ge, by more than ten years. After her arrival, gossip flew around the neighborhood. She was unreasonable and selfish and always twisted the facts around. Many things mysteriously disappeared after she came, and we often had strangers coming in and out of the courtyard. Obviously, conflicts arose. As I didn't like associating with those people, our two families almost stopped mixing. However, living within the same court boundary, with our houses parted only by a wall, we constantly ran into each other. Every time I bumped into her, my heart sank and the feeling was unbearable. On the other hand, as a Falun Dafa practitioner, I must not bear grudges against people. Therefore, I tried to hold back my emotion and greeted her, but with reluctance.
As time went by and my understanding of the Fa deepened, my attitude improved. I began to think, "I cannot bear a grudge against her all the time. If I do, I would be behaving in the same manner as she does. Even people in the past observed the practice of 'return good for evil,' why can't I do the same? If I feel uncomfortable, it must be me that is wrong. Why can't I let go of such a minor thing? Of course, I can."
There is a small vegetable garden at the back of our block. When in season, I brought her some fresh vegetables and invited her to come over and pick the ones she liked. Occasionally, we would bring some food across to their children. After that, our relationship improved. My former grudge against her disappeared. I managed to convince her to give up her Communist Youth League membership as well.
Last year, the family house was badly damaged by flood. Er-ge wanted to rebuild the house but was short of funds. As he did not have the income to get a loan, he came to me and asked for help. I was somewhat reluctant, because when Er-sao's former house was built, Er-ge put in the money to help her. Later, when the council reclaimed the land with a compensation of 60,000 yuan, Er-sao kept all the money and ran away, leaving Er-ge with the debt. Later, only when Er-ge promised that he would not touch her money did she come back. Er-sao was a very selfish person. Now Er-ge was in need. I was not that well-off either, but I decided to help him out. When the foundation was complete, Er-ge suggested that the two units should be constructed on either side of the pathway, but Er-sao insisted that the units should be under the same roof. Everything Er-ge suggested, she wanted something else. I was very angry.
When conflicts arise, look inside. I asked myself, "What else have I not let go?" I had always felt that Er-ge had wasted his time, marrying this woman. I was sorry for him. In fact, that was probably their karmic relationship. Maybe Er-ge owed her too much in the previous life and is repaying her in this manner this life time. Who has the power to change another person's destiny anyway? As for me, by looking down on someone else, am I not acting superior? How can I save others if I look down on them? Would you look down on the sentient beings of your own world? Are we not speaking of compassion? If we cannot accommodate others, isn't it that we don't have the capacity?
After changing my attitude, I joked with Er-sao, "When the main rafter is ready to go up, I will contribute two strings of fire-crackers to celebrate. This time, you will conduct the ceremony." That day came. Er-sao happily ran the show. Everyone was happy.
Calling her Er-sao is a gesture of respect. I never used to call her Er-sao before. I had always called her by her name, which is most impolite in our Chinese culture. Our neighbors had always wondered why I didn't call her Er-sao. My fellow Dafa practitioners had tried to persuade me to call her Er-sao, but I refused. I just could not call her Er-sao - something seemed to stick in my throat, something hard like a stone. It was my ego, my envy, my pride, and all other mixed feelings that prevented me from calling her Er-sao. Now, this wall is gone. It is no longer a barrier.
A month ago, Er-sao held a party to celebrate her granddaughter's first day in high school. After all, we were a family. So I went, and she was very pleased. Er-ge's house was now ready to move into. I offered to help put up the light fixtures and arrange the furniture. As Er-ge was not around, I needed someone to help with the tools and so on. Picking up the courage, I called my sister-in-law "Er-sao" instead of by her name. She was absolutely delighted. Finally the wall is down and we have drawn closer. When Er-sao's sister came around to help tidy the house, I took the opportunity to clarify the truth to her. While trying to convince her quit her Communist Party membership, Er-sao backed me up. Now, she even seeks my advice whenever she has a problem.
Falun Dafa has melted the ice in my heart. It has untied my knot. Self-cultivation is indeed difficult. Whenever we come against a hurdle, whenever an issue touches our heart, the feeling is often unbearable. Yet, it is so much more difficult for Teacher to clean up a karma-laden person, one whose mind is filled with selfishness and avarice. Teacher's Fa-rectification work is for the salvation of all sentient beings. To him, every life, every being is important. Without Teacher's coming, without his compassion, we wouldn't have self-cultivation.