Walking on the Path of Cultivation During Fa-Rectification
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I began Falun Dafa cultivation practice in 1997. I previously had very poor health, and I had undergone heart surgery. After that surgery, I couldn't even do simple household chores such as mopping the floor. During that difficult time, I was fortunate to begin practicing Falun Dafa. After beginning the practice, my health recovered in a very short time. Not only were my illnesses healed, but my mind was also purified. I would like to share some of my experiences during the past several years during the Fa-rectification period.
Going to Beijing to Validate the Fa
After the persecution of Falun Dafa began, I went to Beijing six times to appeal, and I was subjected to persecution several times.
After July 20, 1999, I saw on television some practice site assistants who announced that they stopped practicing under pressure. Some of them even defamed Dafa. I felt very bad. Master said,
"If we change the situation in human society and reverse the general climate, then let's see who still says that Dafa is good and who changes his mind. This way, won't everything suddenly become crystal clear? ("Huge Exposure" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
In October 1999, my husband (also a practitioner) and I went to Beijing to appeal. At that time, I was three months pregnant. We arrived in Beijing and met some local practitioners. They said that the appeals center had virtually become a police station, and many practitioners were arrested at the entrance. We thought it was a pity that practitioners were being arrested in that way, so several of us who did not live in Beijing didn't return home, and lived there for about a month. During that time, I could hardly eat because of the pregnancy. At that time, we were not clear-headed, and were just hoping things would change soon.
On September 29, 2000 (four months after my baby was born), I was reading articles from the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) and realized that Dafa practitioners should let go of the attachment to self, and we should go to Beijing to appeal for both Dafa and Master. At that time, the phone rang. A fellow practitioner asked me, "Are you ready to go [to Beijing]?" I said, "Yes, I will be there in half an hour." At that time, my husband had gone to the railway station for a relative, and he didn't take the key with him. While holding the baby in my arms, I was worried about how he could come back without the key. A fellow practitioner then came to visit me and I gave the key to her so that she could pass it on to my husband. She said that the arrangement might not work since my baby was too young for my husband to care for himself. I said that we had benefited from Dafa and Master so much, so how could we use a young baby as an excuse for not going out?
We arrived at the gathering place. I called my husband, asking if he would go with us. At that time, he had just recently been released after being illegally detained for a month, and he was not in a good state. Noticing his hesitation, I told him not to miss this opportunity. At that time, I had human notions and told him I was afraid that I could not take care of the 4-month old baby by myself on the trip. I was also afraid my husband would fall behind. So he later decided to go with me.
We stayed in Beijing for seven or eight days. Practitioners from my hometown kept coming to Beijing, and at Tiananmen Square, more than forty of us displayed banners that said, "Falun Dafa is Good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is Good." While holding the baby in my hands, I called aloud, "Falun Dafa is good! Restore Master's reputation!" Our voices were very loud there. The baby was also crying. I knew that although the baby was only four months old, he came to validate the Fa, and his cry was telling others that Falun Dafa is good. Noticing that my voice was loud, several thugs came and dragged me into a police van. At the door, one of them kicked me into the van. I fell down in the seat, and the baby cried under me. A policewoman said, "Oh, there is a baby here." I stood up, knowing that the baby was alright thanks to Master's help. While in the van, I kept shouting "Falun Dafa is good." I saw the police brutally beating practitioners who didn't enter the van. Later, many of us were taken back to our town by local police. Several days later, my husband was sent to a forced labor camp. My baby and I returned home. After some time, I began to feel sorry for my husband. I had used human notions and pushed him to go to Beijing even though his state wasn't good. As a result, he was persecuted.
Beginning to Clarify the Truth
During that period of time, many of our local practitioners went to Beijing to validate the Fa, and they were detained or sent to forced labor camps. The remaining practitioners at home were afraid of stepping forward. In order to validate the Fa, several other practitioners and I used different ways to clarify the truth.
At first, there were no truth-clarification materials. I bought some balloons and wrote "Falun Dafa is Good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" on them. During the day time, we inflated the balloons. At night, we went out to release them.
Clarifying the Truth to the Mail Room Staff
Once I went to a residential area to distribute truth-clarifying materials. On the second floor, I saw that the mail room person was very upset. He asked me angrily, "Who distributed this? What are you here for?" I was very calm, thinking that I should save him and not miss this opportunity. I said, "Uncle, I distributed them, and I also have a booklet for you. For your future, please read the truth about Falun Gong." His attitude immediately changed. The anger on his face was gone, and he took the booklet with both hands trembling. I continued, "Uncle, I distributed these materials because many people are deceived. Several months ago, when a Dafa practitioner in our area was distributing truth-clarifying materials, someone reported him to the police. In the detention center, the police beat him to death. I sincerely hope you can read these materials and have a good future." His voice was soft, "All right, all right." His hand that held the truth-clarification material was trembling. From this, I saw the eager yearning for truth in an everyday person. We left the room as we talked, and he escorted me out. When we have compassion in our minds and are completely considerate of other people's futures, the righteous field will disintegrate the impure materials in people's minds. Master said,
"The pure, righteous field would disintegrate it, disintegrate everything that's unrighteous in the person's consciousness, and that's another manifestation of salvation and a reflection of compassion. When everything bad in a person's consciousness has been disintegrated and he's only left with a simple, pure mind, then that person will recognize and appreciate what's upright and good. So hasn't he been assimilated?" ("Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Midwest-U.S. Fa Conference")
Cultivating Myself in the Process of Changing my Husband
My husband was brainwashed in the brainwashing center, and he was severely misled. Seeing him come back having enlightened along an evil path, I was very upset. In order to wake him up quickly, I took the opportunity to play Master's lecture and recordings of truth-clarification materials. However, he still held to those thoughts and wouldn't let them go. I thus used wisdom and asked him to read the Fa. I said to him, "You have been gone for more than two years, and I didn't have time study the Fa. Now you are back. Could you read the Fa to me while I'm taking care of the child?" He was always an honest person, so he started reading the Fa to make me happy. I also hoped he would gradually change in this way. However, it didn't work. I talked with him many times, but his arrogance and ignorance hurt me. Many practitioners also came to talk with him. We tried many different ways, but things did not improve.
It continued for a while like this, and I was very frustrated. Upon thinking calmly about the matter, I thought, "Why has my husband not walked out of the evil path?" I began thinking about myself. Ever since we met each other, I had strong emotions for him, and I really needed to let go of that human notion. I then noticed many human thoughts inside me, including that I paid too much attention to changing him so that other practitioners wouldn't think I had not cultivated well, or think poorly of me. I realized I had a strong attachment to fame among practitioners. Another thing was that when fellow practitioners came to share understandings with me, some thought my husband was a spy based on his mental state. For security reasons, those practitioners also interacted less with me and asked me to stop working on Dafa projects. Thus I started to complain with frustration.
At that time, "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Midwest-U.S. Fa Conference" was published. Master said,
"It's because our field isn't pure and righteous in those places, and it's not able to have the effect of saving sentient beings and rescuing lives. It can't shock the evil. Isn't that our own problem?!"
I had to rectify myself first and no longer let the evil take advantage of me. Once I changed, my husband also woke up. He was then very regretful and improved quickly. He took the initiative to go out and talk with those practitioners who had not yet awakened. Through discussion with my husband, many of them also woke up. From this I realized that whenever we come across issues, we need to look within. After we improve our xinxing, the situation will change.
Clarifying the Truth Face to Face
Because of keeping busy with work at the materials production site, I didn't do much face-to-face truth clarification. When I saw many practitioners go out every day to clarify the truth face to face, I felt bad about myself. I had difficulty talking with strangers. I later felt the need to overcome this barrier. Then I went out together with an older practitioner who did well in truth-clarification. She was very warmhearted and could easily start a conversation with other people. In addition, she was able to talk freely based on whatever kind of person she met. After going out with her for half an hour, I immediately realized how to talk to strangers. I therefore began talking with others myself, and not long after that, three people decided to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its associated organizations in response to my truth-clarification. I knew Master was helping me since I wanted to clarify the truth. From then on, I began clarifying the truth face to face. When I went shopping, I also didn't miss the opportunity for truth-clarification.
After sharing my experience with other practitioners, they also benefited from this. One practitioner previously had many concerns, and worried that her husband, son, daughter-in-law, etc. would find out about her truth-clarification. She was also worried that other people would report her to the police. After sharing with me and other practitioners, she went to visit a neighbor, and in a short time more than ten people quit the CCP and its associated organizations because of her. From this, she gained confidence, and did better when sending forth righteous thoughts. Later, all her family members quit the CCP because of her.
When I look back at the cultivation path I have walked, one important understanding is that good Fa-study is the fundamental basis for doing the three things well. These years I have been doing coordination work, and there are many things to do. However, I have been strict with Fa-study, and I have read at least two lectures of Zhuan Falun every day. This is a major reason that I have been able to walk through relatively steadily.
I know there are many attachments that I still must let go. I will work hard to finish the vow as a Dafa disciple with rationality and wisdom.