Maturing During Fa-rectification Cultivation (Part 1)
(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher said:
"The path a Dafa disciple takes is a glorious history, and this history has to be created by his own enlightening." ("Path" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
1. I Was Fortunate to Practice Falun Dafa and Experience Teacher's Powerful Graciousness
When I started practicing Falun Dafa in May 1998, I was a 16-year-old girl. As my mother was suffering from many diseases and could not be cured, she began Falun Dafa practice. I also learned the practice, as I was curious about qigong. While being taught the exercise movements by an assistant at the practice site, I was able to finish the second exercise. My entire body felt relaxed and I didn't feel any soreness from holding my arms up for a long time. This gave me the desire to participate in group exercise at the practice site daily.
About two months later, I dreamed that my mother and I were in a large room. We suddenly saw Teacher and were very excited. Mother said, "Teacher, I can't cross my legs." Teacher smiled, "Is this so? Let me see." Then, he gently touched my mother's leg with his right hand and my mother could sit in the lotus position. After I woke up, I had doubts about the truth of my dream. Mother had rheumatism and protrusion of the lumbar intervertebral discs, which caused her legs to be of different lengths. She could put her right leg on her left leg with great difficulty, but it stuck up high. I wondered if it was possible that she could truly cross her legs. I went to see my mother and said, "Mother, quickly cross your legs." She was very excited and said, "After I finished the exercises this morning, I felt very sad. An elderly man could sit with both legs crossed, but I could only sit in the half-lotus position. So I tried, and unexpectedly I could sit in the full lotus position!" When saying this, mother demonstrated and she could sit with both legs crossed, just as I had dreamed. I muttered, "It is Teacher! Teacher helped you to cross your legs!"
After experiencing Dafa's wonderfulness, sacredness and mysteriousness for the first time, I said to the assistant, "This Falun Gong is different from other qigong. It is a true cultivation practice." The assistant looked at me surprised, "Young girl, your enlightenment quality is good." I firmed up my faith in the practice even more and memorized Teacher's book Essentials for Further Advancement on the way to and from school. My classmates knew that I practiced Falun Gong, and went to the practice site on Saturday and Sunday to watch us practicing.
There was so much that strengthened my belief in the practice. My parents' many diseases were cured without treatment, and I could see many wonderful scenes in other dimensions through my celestial eye. My entire family looked at issues on the Fa together, no longer argued like everyday people, and experienced Teacher's enormous grace. We can't express in mere words all that we experienced. Therefore, we set up a Fa study group at home. In the morning, my parents went to the practice site and brought along a cassette player for the group practice, and fellow practitioners came to our home for group Fa study at night. We also went to surrounding villages to introduce Falun Gong on weekends, just like Teacher said,
"Those who really have a predestined relationship and can enlighten will come one after another, entering the Dao and obtaining the Fa." ("Enlightenment" from Essentials for Further Advancement )
I saw more and more people begin the practice of Falun Dafa.
2. Bloody Persecution--Being Released Unconditionally
(1) Beginning of the Persecution
On the afternoon of July 22, 1999, policemen came and ordered us to watch the news broadcast by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). What I saw was evil. They slandered Teacher and Falun Dafa on television. I couldn't hold back my tears. I repeatedly asked myself why this was happening and what should we do? I was restless all night long and got up at 4:00 a.m. to go to the practice site with my parents. We were surrounded by police who had been waiting there for us. Several practitioners came, but not too many. We heard that the assistant had been arrested and detained in a hotel near the practice site. Some practitioners suggested that the assistant would lose his freedom.
Arrested? Sent to a detention center? My thoughts were very confused. I felt deep fear. Many practitioners that we had associated with in the past stayed away. My parents and I discussed what to do. We couldn't allow the evil to commit bad deeds and slander Teacher and Falun Dafa. The evil had already targeted my family as key members of the practice. The neighborhood committee and area police questioned us repeatedly. They wanted us to renounce the practice. My entire family remained steadfast, kept explaining the truth about Falun Dafa to them and exposed the lies. At last, after they understood the truth, they no longer interfered so frequently.
In December 1999, Teacher wrote his name on a banner, which was sent to the Beijing Appeals Office with an appeal letter. Soon after, we were getting ready to go to Beijing to appeal for justice for Teacher and Falun Dafa, but the police, anticipating our plans, sent people to surround our home. They ransacked our home. When a policeman walked into another room, I suddenly remembered that the book Essentials for Further Advancement was on the table. I begged Teacher in my heart, "Don't let the police see this book." The police didn't see it!
That night, my entire family and fellow practitioners, eight people in all, were detained in a detention center. When they realized that I was the youngest, they tried to convince me to renounce the practice. They tried many tricks, and said that they would let me go home if I talked. They suggested that I would no longer have to suffer, but when I refused to cooperate, their hypocritical mask disappeared immediately. They threatened that they would detain me for a long time. As I was young and had no social experience, I believed that they would detain me for a lifetime. I was clear however, about what I practiced, and clear that Dafa was righteous. I decided that no matter how the evildoers fabricated rumors, slandered, and rampantly persecuted, I had no fear. Three days later, I safely returned home.
(2) Exposing the Persecution and Awakening People's Conscience
The lies became more rampant, and the CCP minions even fabricated the "Tiananmen Square Self-immolation Incident" in January 2001. I became ever more anxious because the teachers and students were all deceived by the lies, and the environment was oppressive. No one was willing to get close to me and they talked behind my back. Because of being faced with this suppressive environment and having to listen to slander and harm, my mind held negative thoughts. I even thought of renouncing the practice. I went home and calmly studied the Fa and found that I was not firm enough on the Fa. I was afraid of having to face these difficulties. For several days I unceasingly recited Teacher's poem:
True Nature Revealed
Steadfastly cultivate Dafa, the will unflinching
The raising of levels is what's fundamental
In the face of tests one's true nature is revealed
Achieve Consummation, becoming a Buddha, Dao, or God
(Essentials for Further Advancement II)
I understood what I needed to do after reading,
"A magnificent cultivator, on the other hand, is able to let go of his Self and even all of his ordinary human thoughts amidst crucial trials." ("Position" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
With a tranquil and compassionate heart, I wrote a letter to clarify the truth about Falun Gong to the school cadre. I decided to look within when faced with ordeals and regard the Fa as Teacher. Gradually, some students were willing to discuss study issues with me and accepted my truth-clarification. They understood that Falun Dafa was good and chose a wonderful future for themselves. Our class teacher wrote in a graduation message, "You are a gracious girl. We see a truthful and compassionate aura in you. This is most commendable..."
When we clarify the truth well, people will realize that they were deceived by the CCP lies, and they will understand the truth. The environment will change and people who know and accept the truth will also become like live media.
I want to share what I experienced after I finished the college entrance exams in July 2001. The next day, my mother and I were arrested and detained for clarifying the truth. Several days later, a fellow student learned that I was arrested, and the classmate quickly notified others. They found the detention center where I was held after making many inquires. Dozens of fellow students went to the police station and asked for my release. They gathered at the detention center gate daily and told passersby about how I was persecuted. Some even found the cell, work and home phone numbers of the head of the police station. They called daily and asked for my release. This created a tremendously positive influence. People were outraged that the police even locked up good people, and didn't spare children. Because of pressure and public opinion, my mother and I returned home within two weeks. My fellow students were very excited to see me. Some joked, "You were rescued by us."
After the college entrance examination results were posted, the Politics and Law Committee reduced my score, to prevent me from being accepted to the university of my choice. After I found out, I expressed my indignation until my throat was hoarse. I could not talk or sleep well. My father was destitute, as he had to avoid being persecuted, and my mother was monitored. I felt as if the sky had again collapsed. The pain I felt penetrated to the bone. I calmed down and found that I still harbored a strong attachment to fame and self-interest. I was still attached to the so-called happiness in the human world. Teacher said:
"The actions they are now adopting in the persecution of Dafa and its students are extremely evil and shameful, and they fear these will be exposed. You must let the world's people know about their evilness--this is saving people, as well. While eliminating the evil, you consummate yourselves and strengthen the Fa's manifestation in the world." ("Rationality" in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Wasn't this a great opportunity to expose the ongoing evil to people and explain the truth about the persecution of Falun Gong? So I told everyone I met that a good person was arrested and those who perpetrated such crimes would lose their futures. After hearing about my experience, many good people condemned the CCP for persecuting Falun Dafa. The message spread from person to person. I could feel that the evil was trembling with fear. A few days later, just before the end of the school year, I received an admission notice from a University. It offered me a place in a computer-related discipline. I thought I could use it for Falun Dafa, so I decided to accept.
Most of the teachers and students at that school didn't understand the truth about the persecution of Falun Gong. I firmly kept Teacher's words in mind,
"You are cultivators, whose conduct is [supposed to be] pure and righteous. There are so many people who think you're great just by having seen how you act. If we don't pay attention to our own behavior in our daily lives, everyday people will see our actions and, since they can't get to know you at a deep level such as by studying the Fa, they will just look at how you act. And it's possible that one sentence or one action of yours will make them unsavable or create a bad impression of Dafa." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")
My school performance was outstanding. I got along well with other students and often explained the facts about the persecution to them. My roommates were especially willing to listen to me talk of Dafa's spreading, and exposing the CCP lies.
At that time I was already able to get on the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) smoothly and successfully spread the truth on the Internet. The website was blocked to a great extent in 2002. It was very difficult to clarify the truth over the domestic websites, so I bought sticky paper, cut it into pieces, and wrote "Falun Dafa is good," "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good," "Return justice to Teacher, Falun Dafa is righteous" and so on all of them. I put them everywhere, and sometimes I walked over ten miles. Lights in our dormitory were turned off at 9:30 p.m., but I moved a chair to study the Fa under the light in the corridor. My roommates said, "She is a genuine practitioner."
(3) Lesson Learned from Neglecting Fa Study and Having an Attachment to Doing Things
The students I had been in contact with all understood the truth. Alas, there were still many people in the school whose minds were poisoned by the lies and hence had negative thoughts about Falun Dafa. I began to hand-write all kinds of notes, and pasted them everywhere at the school. A hand-written note is much more complex than writing truth-clarification short sentences. The writing must be neat and I often spent over ten minutes writing just one such note. I could only finish a few a day. Unconsciously I neglected to read the Fa diligently. Teacher said,
"No matter how difficult your environment is, no matter how busy you get, you cannot forget to study the Fa. You must study the Fa, because it is the absolute, most fundamental guarantee of your improvement." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")
I didn't realize that I became attached to doing things. I did not realize the danger of not studying the Fa had already caught up with me.
In March 2002, as soon as I finished the exams, I went to post truth-clarification materials in a hurry. Because a practitioner already distributed over three hundred discs near the school a day prior, the evil was monitoring the area to catch the practitioner. I was caught after posting only two Falun Dafa truth clarification flyers. Security officers took me to my room and were getting ready to search my luggage. A roommate immediately passed her luggage to the security officer and said, "This is hers!" They turned it upside down but found nothing. When they were going to take me away, all my roommates held onto me, and they didn't let me go, no matter what. Then two people came and broke us apart.
That night, the school and the 610 Office decided that the school would handle this situation. I was released from the detention center and taken back to the school. The school cadres asked me to think about my situation that night. They threatened that if I didn't openly write a guarantee statement, they would take me to the detention center. The next morning, although the school gate was generally open on Saturdays, I found that the gate was closed. So, I jumped over the wall and left. Where could I go? I knew no fellow practitioners at that place. Then I remembered the practitioner who I contacted via the Internet before, so I took some clothes and my Falun Dafa books, and decided to hide at this practitioner's home. What I didn't know was that this practitioner had already been monitored by secret agents for over 40 days. I delivered myself into their hands.
(4) Reconsidering and Looking Within to Deny the Old Forces Arrangements with Righteous Thoughts
During the illegal detention, my relatives found out that I had become a key target, and would be sentenced to a prison term. Therefore, they urged me to write the three statements in the hope that my term would be reduced. I said, "Prison sentence? At most, I would be sent to a forced labor camp." Because the old forces took advantage of this thought of mine, I was sent to a forced labor camp. Suddenly I understood that I had asked for this. I fell into the trap of the old forces.
Many practitioners thought that I was so capable regarding computer operations, and it was such a pity that I couldn't play my role. Therefore, I wanted to use the opportunity to help others learn about computers. I had a plan, which I discussed with fellow practitioners. I thought that we could certainly achieve it as long as our righteous thoughts were strong. All environments in today's human world are created for Dafa, and our cultivation environment is also created by our firm righteous thoughts. With such thoughts, I successfully replaced the weekly English lesson by a former practitioner who gave up the practice and cooperated with the evil, with a lesson from a basic computer knowledge class.
One day we heard that the male brigade was trying to brainwash three very steadfast practitioners. They were going to use former female practitioners who went astray under pressure to brainwash them. I accidentally heard that it was a "badger game." A badger game is some kind of extortion scheme where the victim is tricked into becoming vulnerable under brainwashing methods. I laughed at the evil for using such a stupid trick, and also wondered why this happened. The guard was inattentive, so a male practitioner quietly said to me, "I need Teacher's articles." I suddenly understood and passed the articles to practitioners in the male brigade.
We reminded each other daily that we had to send forth righteous thoughts all the time, or memorize all Teacher's lectures we just received. One day I was secretly memorizing Teacher's articles, and carelessly dropped the original manuscript to the ground. I was caught, and taken to the warehouse that is used for torturing practitioners. The guards wanted to find out who gave the materials to me. I thought, "Even if you pry open my teeth, I won't tell." At that moment, a thought suddenly flashed in my mind. I nearly fell into the old forces' trap. Wasn't I accepting the persecution in another way? My attitude was also mixed with the desire to fight. After I discovered this, I suddenly felt that my heart was light. I never felt so calm, and I thought that the evil would be eliminated if it got close to me. As expected, this evil guard who had been called very vicious and had been exposed on the Minghui website many times, suddenly said to me, "Ok, it is all right, be careful next time." (To be continued)