(Clearwisdom.net) When I first returned from the labor camp, I was depressed and downhearted. I did not know the purpose of life and could not break through my tribulations. Making those statements to give up my practice was an everlasting blemish. How could I make up for it? Regret was useless and I felt no longer qualified for further practice. Although Teacher had enlightened me again and again, and I was often in tears because of gratitude to Teacher, I could not overcome the barriers in my heart. Even if I continued to practice, I could not make it through at critical moments. Why waste Teacher's efforts? But how could I give up the practice? After waiting for generations after generations, how could I throw it away because of one sentence? I could not give it up. After all, what is the purpose for our existence here?
The debate went back and forth. Fellow practitioners also constantly tried to help me. They never thought I would stop practicing. Finally I picked up the Dafa books again and made up my mind: No matter how far I had deviated, studying the Fa is always better than not. So I made the choice to continue to practice.
Little by little, Teacher enlightened me so that I could regain my righteous thoughts, and I gradually recovered. However, the old forces' arrangements also started to interfere. For practitioners who were previously persecuted and now continue to practice, the attachment of fear is one of the biggest barriers. Again and again, police cars appeared around me, and every time they seemed to target me, although afterwards it seemed otherwise.
I knew it aimed at my attachment, since it intended to destroy me. If I were scared and dared not practice, its aim would be achieved. I was indeed frightened and did not have righteous thoughts, until one day a practitioner told me that someone had reported our practice to the police. I was worried the entire day. The more afraid I was, the more severe the situation appeared. Several police cars came to where I work. Thinking the police were there to arrest me, I was very scared: "Things are over now. If I am arrested and put in labor camp, I will end up dying there." Because of that fear, all the bad thoughts emerged, and it was beyond the capacity of my human mind. I could not find any solution and was so exhausted that I almost collapsed. Later, I suddenly thought, "Let it be. At most it will be just death anyway." Because of the fatigue, I went to sleep while sitting on the cot in the lunchroom. After waking up half an hour later, I looked out the window and noticed that the police cars were already gone.
After this incident, however, I woke up and realized we cannot harbor any hope for the old forces. Even if we stop practicing, they still will not give up until we are destroyed. I have seen some practitioners who stopped practicing or cannot remain diligent encounter many problems and tribulations. I am very concerned about them. I would like to use all I have to help them break through the old forces' arrangements. But it is up to them whether they can endure the process. After this lesson, I began to intentionally get rid of the attachment of fear.
Teacher has told us many times to completely oppose the old forces' arrangements. With deeper and deeper Fa-study, I became clearer and did better. As long as I could recognize them, I would oppose those arrangements. Only Teacher's Fa can guide our continual practice and improvement. With Teacher's help, the environment around me has been very peaceful, almost similar to that prior to the start of the persecution in July 1999. With constant Fa-study, my mentality became more and more stable. My righteous thoughts also became stronger, and attachments dwindled. In such a situation, truth-clarification also became smoother, and there was less interference. Nonetheless, there were still unrecognized arrangements by the old forces, so sometimes things came up.
One day something unexpected happened. Someone reported my wife to the police about her practice, and she was taken to the police station for interrogation. My wife sent forth righteous thoughts, and with rationality did not yield to the persecution. The police station head also knew some true situation. He told the police officers that had taken her into custody, "You can take a look in her home and bring back some VCDs or audiotapes. Do not touch the books she needs to read." The police followed his instructions and things ended there. When a fellow practitioner called me and told me about it, despite the attachment of fear, my first thought was that this should not have happened. Later, my wife and I checked what omissions we had. My understanding on completely opposing old forces' arrangements was that we not only realize this but also need to act accordingly. If we do not completely oppose the old forces' arrangements, they will take advantage of us. Whatever we acknowledge, they will take advantage of. Such interference from the old forces is often destructive. If we are following the old forces' arrangements, when we are unable to pass the tribulation, we are destroyed; when we can pass the tribulations, there are more difficult ones waiting until we cannot pass them and will be destroyed.
For example, after one practitioner was arrested, the police asked him if he would continue to practice. He said, firmly, "Yes." Since the test was passed, shouldn't the practitioner have been released? No, he was instead illegally detained. Why? This is because this practitioner followed the old forces' arrangements. If you follow the arrangements, the interference will continue, until to the end. Some practitioners were very determined to cultivate Dafa, but they were persecuted to death since they did not completely oppose the old forces' arrangements. Therefore, making the right choice is very important. At whichever point we can oppose the old forces' arrangements, things will end there.
With righteous thoughts and right actions, some practitioners clarified the truth to the police who came to arrest them. The police then withdrew. Some practitioners clarified truth after being taken to the police station and even walked out with righteous thoughts. After being sent to a forced labor camp, some were released soon afterward due to righteous thoughts, and some were released after their terms were over. If one cannot completely oppose the old forces' arrangements, he might be forced to give up the practice or be persecuted to death. The later the stage, the more difficult it is to oppose it. This is because, as the persecution gets worse, tribulations also became ever more severe. Plus, because one cannot study the Fa, under these circumstances it is very hard to overcome.
Then, what is the best way? My understanding is to oppose the arrest before it happens. For practitioners who often have such problems, do we still more or less acknowledge the persecution in our minds? Mind and matter are one. When something exists in your mind, it will manifest on the surface. For example, once we hear something negative about a particular practitioner and accept them, various attachments (such as the attachment of fear) will come up and consider things disastrous. If we are unable to clear them in time, things will fall in line with such imaginings. The old forces are there watching you, and when they see you have such thoughts, they will start to arrange that way to interfere. Some practitioners may say, "See, now the problems we expected have come up." In fact, everything is caused by our notions. Therefore, what we think in our minds is very important.
For undesirable issues, if we send forth righteous thoughts at the beginning to stop them, they will not happen. We need to completely oppose the old forces' arrangements and remain undisturbed by various events in human society. In this way, we just need to cultivate diligently and do the three things well. Isn't this wonderful? Teacher's Fa is very profound, and everyone of us will be enlightened and every issue will be resolved. Why do we still need to acknowledge the old forces' arrangements from time to time? Needless to say, sometimes we are not very clear on the Fa-principles and are unable to see through the vicious intent of the old forces beneath superficial appearances. On the other hand, when we still have human notions, there are hints to enlighten us. Pay attention to the hints and eliminate the notions. If we were to ignore such attachments, or even cover them up with various excuses, the old forces would take advantage of them by forcing their arrangements upon us. The tribulations thus become more and more severe, until we are finally destroyed. We have seen that practitioners are persecuted not directly because of their attachments, but because of their refusing to eliminate long lasting attachments and paying no attention to Teacher's hints or fellow practitioners' reminders. There are many such incidents. Because of insufficient Fa-study, the tribulations get worse. When practitioners are unable to break through such tribulations, they turn around to complain to Teacher. Some even give up the practice or are enlightened along an evil path. The old forces are pleased to see such things happen.
It is not easy to cultivate in the human world, since our attachments are clearly exposed to various levels of beings in many dimensions. If we are unable to walk well the path of cultivation during the Fa-rectification period, even with a little deviation our efforts may end up in vain. At certain levels, whether a being can be saved is the choice the being makes. As a practitioner who chooses to cultivate Dafa, which path should we follow in cultivation: arrangements by old forces or guidance from Teacher? We know we should follow Teacher's guidance. But occasionally, when we are unclear on the Fa principles and therefore cannot see things clearly, we may make mistakes and cause losses. In order to prevent this from happening and walk well as Dafa disciples, the only way is to study the Fa well.
Please compassionately point out anything improper.