(Clearwisdom.net) Reflecting on the experience of being imprisoned and persecuted for a long time, I realize that I almost lost all hope and the will to live. I always thought that understanding Dafa is most precious; however, in the detention center, when I was unable to practice cultivation in Dafa to return to my origin, I began to think it was better to die rather than live under such circumstances, better to be dead than to be alive in this polluted, evil, dye vat, creating and accumulating karma. Later I came to realize that the real issue was not life or death but rather, whether or not I could honorably step forward to practice cultivation.

At the beginning of 2004, I went to the superintendent of the detention center: "I need to practice the exercises. Should my request be turned down, I will go on a hunger strike and stop all my work to protest." (Because of prolonged detention and persecution by the evil, coupled with the lack of Fa study and inability to read Master's new articles for guidance, I realized that I had gaps.) I started a hunger strike, and stopped all work. No matter how they threatened, or set traps to induce me to stop, I refused to listen. When they realized that I was indifferent to life and death, they did not use force and violence on me. Their "reform" was very superficial, almost next to nothing. When I was practicing the exercises, they would come and pull and drag me.

In an effort to prevent other practitioners from being influenced by me, the detention center authorities illegally confined me to an empty room in a special ward and ordered three hooligans to harass and intimidate me 24 hours a day. Among the three, two of them had the opportunity through a previous assignment to learn about and understand Dafa. After I clarified the truth to them, they began to understand more and more. Sometimes, while watching the news broadcast, they would loudly discuss among themselves that members of the evil communist regime were all liars and the broadcasts were lies to swindle people. The party leaders were state-sanctioned, licensed thugs that defrauded and brainwashed innocent law-abiding citizens. These two also supported Falun Gong, saying that Falun Dafa was being unjustly treated. They said it was time the communist regime should end. When I practiced the exercises, they would keep a watch out for me. They would also help me to pass on messages and new articles to other practitioners that were illegally confined in other areas of the detention center.

Later, the room designated for my illegal confinement was slated for demolition. I was transferred to another building and shared a room with another practitioner. That same night we worked together to set up an exercise practice environment. During the day, we took turns reciting the articles that each of us knew for the other to listen. Unfortunately, this did not last very long. After a month or so, we were separated. But, regardless of where I was transferred, I continued to practice the exercises. Whenever the authorities tried to persecute me, I would yell. I already sacrificed myself and planned for the worst. Although I was beaten up on many occasions and went through severe torture, at that time I thought that was what I needed to do.

During that time, many manifestations were reflected in my dreams. In some instances, I was paving the road, clearing away the surrounding garbage, or using my righteous thoughts to clear the evil, eliminating evil spirits. At other times, I was washing clothes, making the filthy laundry sparkling clean with my hands. There were other times that I was meeting with Master. I remember that on several nights, when I missed the time to do exercises because I was fast asleep and did not get up, someone beside my bed patted my quilt. When I sat up and opened my eyes, there was no one around. All I could see were other inmates sleeping on their beds. I started to cross my legs and began the meditation exercise practice. I realized this was the mercy of our benevolent Teacher, awakening me to remind me to do my exercises.

After I was released from detention, when I saw fellow practitioners outside in a relaxed environment not paying attention to studying the Fa and practicing the exercises, the memory of my past experiences started to resurface. Actually, we are so fortunate and privileged to be the "Fa-rectification Dafa disciples." Whatever we sacrifice and endure can never be equated with what Master has arranged for us in the future. For this reason, we should cherish all that we do and walk our paths righteously.