Husband and Wife Need Tolerance and Understanding

(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. I’ve truly realized that as long as I meet Dafa’s requirements Master Li arranges everything for me.

My wife and I met prior to 1999. After the Chinese Communist Party began persecuting Falun Dafa she still decided to marry me in 2000, despite pressure from her family and society. We moved to another city in order to avoid the persecution, and she didn’t have a stable job.

We got along well at first, but after a few years, especially after we had a child, my wife’s personality became more and more unreasonable. She would lose her temper and argue loudly every day about small things. I kept looking inward. I was studying for my master’s degree and a doctorate degree, and my academic qualifications greatly improved. I was promoted from a technician to a person in charge. I began to look down on my wife. Although I didn’t say it, I silently complained about her. She didn’t go to work and didn’t do the housework well.

Although I realized some of these were my problems, the conflicts continued. I looked deeply at myself. Why did these things make me unhappy? If what would make me happy was that my wife should keep the home clean and organized then wasn’t that also an attachment? No matter how clean the house was, it would still be a garbage dump from the view of higher beings.

Our conflicts went on for years. Sometimes I was aware of the root cause, and sometimes I wasn’t. I once accidentally pushed her and she hit the cabinet and had a minor bone fracture. It was labeled as “domestic violence.” I took her to a hospital for an examination and to be X-rayed. She stayed at home resting for a month, while I did all the housework, such as cooking and cleaning. I realized that housework was more tiring than my job.

I was not considering the issue from her perspective. I felt that since I worked and earned the money, she should do the housework. In fact, taking care of a child and doing the housework is very tedious and tiring. My wife is not very smart. She works slowly and is talkative. I felt I should have been more considerate and tolerant. After I realized this I stopped being petty and our conflicts eased.

During a conversation with a practitioner from my hometown, he said, “The marriage between husband and wife is fate, so don’t just throw it away.” He said it very compassionately, and suddenly I knew that Master was enlightening me. Yes, we all came for this Fa, and we were able to come through the persecution together. So shouldn’t we be tolerant and considerate of each other, and cherish our predestined relationship? Cultivation requires an environment, and we need to cultivate among people. We should be grateful to the person who gives us the environment! We should improve ourselves and treat each other well! It is such a great fate to be husband and wife in this lifetime! Isn’t that for the sake of mutual achievement?

Human life is too short. I’ve also seen some practitioners who don’t want to set aside family tribulations that have been going on for many years, which I think is truly a pity. Why do I say, “They don’t want to set them aside?” Because as long as you still want to argue about who is right and wrong, and still want to fight and use human thinking and logic to deal with conflicts, you have actually chosen to have the conflicts. Why not start now? Isn’t now the most meaningful time to cultivate?

Since we entered Fa-rectification cultivation we no longer belong to the Three Realms. No matter what happens in the family, at work, or in society, as long as our hearts are moved, this shows we still have attachments that we need to cultivate away. We need to keep validating the Fa, help Master to save sentient beings, and fulfill our responsibilities.

The above is my understanding at my level. If anything I’ve said is not in line with the Fa, please kindly correct me.