Making It a Habit to Look Within

(Minghui.org) Because I’ve made it a habit of looking within when I study the Fa teachings, I’m able to rectify my human attachments and notions based on the Fa.

I understand that every test, every tribulation, and every unhappy thing is arranged by Master to expose my attachments, get rid of them, improve my xinxing, and elevate my cultivation level.

By constantly examining myself, I feel I’ve improved quickly, and the changes in my body are also great. When I cultivate diligently, I can feel a layer of my attachments is removed, like a shell being peeled away. When the substance behind these attachments has been eliminated, I can feel the changes in me, the disintegration of the old universe, the forming of the new universe, sentient beings are saved, and my dimensional field becomes clear. That feeling of grandeur and sacredness is hard to describe.

Personal Cultivation

I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1996. Because I work long hours, my time is limited. However, I read the Fa and watch Master’s lectures very seriously. I don’t want to miss a single word. Master asked us to look within.

During the period of personal cultivation, I encountered tests almost every day. I reminded myself they were arranged by Master to help me to improve my xinxing, and I felt that he was right by my side. When I could not pass tests, I used the Fa and looked within to see where I could do better. No matter how deeply ingrained my attachment is, or how hard it is to overcome, I look inward, identify my attachments, and eliminate them.

Looking Within

When I was illegally detained, my attachments to emotion surfaced, and the guards beat me. In order to resist and expose the persecution, the other practitioners and I wrote reports and letters to expose their criminal deeds. When the detention center heard what we did, the guards conducted a surprise raid. The captain found my letter and told the inmates how this letter hurt her.

I reflected on myself. If I really abided by the Fa, the result would be different. When I looked inward and used the Fa to examine my behavior, I discovered I wrote the letter with attachments to complaints and hatred, a competitive mentality, and the wish to take revenge. The old forces used this as an excuse to persecute me because of my strong attachments and manipulated the guards, and so they committed crimes against Dafa and practitioners. All this was caused by my attachments, and the root cause was with me. Because I did not cultivate well, it was destroying this being (the guard) that came for the Fa, and also the sentient beings in the celestial bodies and universe that correspond to her.

I wrote a letter to the captain and said my motive did not meet the requirements of the Fa. It is not that the Fa is not good, but that I did not do well. She was moved by my sincerity and understanding. She could not sleep for many nights and felt that I understood her inner pain, so she was grateful to me. She said, “Dafa is good, but you all did not do well. That is because not all of you understand the Fa well.”

After I left, I heard this captain was especially kind to Falun Dafa practitioners. I realized that my sincerity and not covering up my mistakes moved her, and awakened her compassion.

Another matter left a deep lesson on me that I’d like to share with you.

One of the family-run materials production sites in my area was destroyed. The police filled the car with the equipment and truth clarifying materials they took from the practitioner’s home. Two practitioners were arrested and detained. One practitioner’s husband reported me, and I was followed and monitored by the police.

Hiding seemed the safest thing to do. However, I learned that leading a displaced life is the old forces’ arrangement. This meant that my life, work, and interaction with society and neighbors changed. I decided I must stay here to cultivate and lead a normal life.

When I fixed my mind on this thought, I locked myself up at home, and for four days, I looked inward, read the Fa, and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference.

I experienced intense interference when I read the Fa. Messy thoughts filled my mind, and I had trouble focusing. I had to maintain strong, righteous thoughts when I read, and I had to repeatedly read some segments of the Fa before I could understand even the surface meaning. It took me four or five hours just to finish one lecture of Zhuan Falun. No matter how tough it was, I did not give up. I understood this serious persecution must be happening because I had a cultivation problem. Only by measuring the matter based on the Fa could I find the root cause of this persecution.

I decided to rectify myself: First, I sent forth righteous thoughts every hour to eliminate the persecution and negate it. I would only take the path that Master arranged for me. Second, I sent righteous thoughts to get rid of the negative substances that disturbed my studying and obtaining of the Fa. At the same time, I also strengthened my wish to look within: I must find these attachments and set aside my human side. I could not let the evil control people to commit crimes against the Fa because of my attachments.

I tried my best to adjust myself until I was able to study the Fa with a calm mind. When I was truly able to study the Fa with a calm mind, the Fa displayed itself and let me see my attachments, such as showing off, jealousy, validating myself, building up virtue for myself, being afraid of not being able to keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification, a strong desire to do things, etc.

I finally found the root cause of these attachments, which was the attachment to myself and my selfishness. Every one of these attachments originated from selfishness. This is the fundamental characteristic of the old universe. These are not the true me. Only that which is made up of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance is the true me.

When I studied the Fa, I felt that Master removed the matter behind these attachments. When I continued to study the Fa, I realized the old forces’ arrangement to persecute me was eliminated.

When I continued to study the Fa, my thoughts opened up. When we set up that materials production site, we were under great mental pressure because our xinxing was poor, and each of us was in charge of specific jobs. Our Fa study and rest time were disrupted—Fa study was short, and we were not focused when we read the Fa.

We also had strong attachments. We failed to think of others, which resulted in conflicts. We focused on other people’s shortcomings, and we were not willing to look within. The divisions between us were big, and we interfered with each other. Some practitioners often had problems with the equipment due to their own poor cultivation state, but they were not able to resolve it by themselves. They were also not able to find practitioners who had technical knowledge. They looked for the coordinator, who looked for practitioners who had technical knowledge.

One matter not only caused disturbance to one practitioner, but all of us. No one realized it because none were able to attain the state of studying the Fa with a calm mind. None of us understood that we were manipulated by the old forces’ arrangements. We all wanted to change others, but none of us wanted to change our human thoughts. That caused the materials production site’s energy field not to be harmonized, and it was very difficult to produce materials. Actually, this was a manifestation of the persecution. I only thought about looking within when the persecution happened.

Through this persecution, I understood the serious nature of cultivation and my responsibilities. If I do not cultivate well, many beings and dimensions are affected. The old forces will use this as an excuse to persecute us and eliminate the beings that were involved in persecuting practitioners. Practitioners are guardians of the universe. We need to be responsible to all the righteous elements and sentient beings. We definitely cannot allow the old forces to make use of our attachments to manipulate the spies and police to commit crimes against Dafa, causing them to lose their chance to be saved.

Eliminating the old forces is not for me, but to save all sentient beings.

This kind of improvement to become “totally for others” started when I studied the Fa. My dimensional field became crystal clear again. By the time I stepped out of the house four days later, I felt the environment had changed. Even the people who monitored me were gone.

Some practitioners only remember to look within when they’ve been persecuted. This is still cultivating within the tribulation that was arranged by the old forces. The old forces attained their objective to make sentient beings commit crimes against Dafa by taking part in the persecution, causing them to lose their chance to be saved. They want to make our families suffer mental torment and material and financial losses, so that they’ll have negative thoughts about Falun Dafa.

When we become sleepy in studying the Fa, or are not able to study the Fa with a calm mind, or our hand positions become distorted when we send forth righteous thoughts, the problem is already very serious. It’s a sign that the old forces are persecuting our bodies. We should treat the problems that occur in our cultivation seriously and study the Fa more. We must have the resolve that we will not give up until we find out attachments when we are studying the Fa.

Correcting My Every Thought

When I was held in the detention center, the cell captain was one of the four main people who persecuted practitioners. Their identities were already published on Minghui.org. My understanding was that every person on Earth came for the Fa. Many of them plucked up enormous courage to come down to Earth to obtain the Fa, but they are being destroyed by the old forces’ arrangements, who manipulate them to persecute practitioners. Master does not acknowledge this, and as a practitioner, I do not acknowledge it. I just want to do my best to save her.

She felt I treated her well, so she talked to me. Many of the words she said during the detention center meetings came from me. More than once, she told me, “I don’t know why, but if I speak to you loudly, I feel as though I’ve committed a crime.” I knew it was the power of the Fa! She expressed her respect for me in many ways. In contrast, one practitioner’s mind was set that the captain would be eliminated, and thus, the captain always got angry when she saw this practitioner.

When facing the local detention center’s case handling personnel, I decided that I would definitely not allow any wrong notions or attachments to cause these police officers to commit crimes against Dafa. I want to cherish their lives and be responsible for their future. The local detention center staff stopped harassing me.

When I had an off day from work, I extended the length of time I read the Fa. I not only discovered the shortcomings in my cultivation, I was also able to understand the Fa principles and what Master required me to do, how to do it in a way that best befits the Fa, what I should do, how I could do it better, and why do I do it this way. That saved me a lot of detours on my path of cultivation.

The above are some cultivation experiences. I’m still very far away from the standard and I need to examine myself based on the Fa. I will cultivate diligently so as not to leave any regrets on my cultivation journey.