Eliminating Resentment Toward Family by Cultivating Dafa

(Minghui.org) I obtained the Fa in 1998 and have been practicing Falun Dafa ever since. As the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has persecuted Dafa, Master’s guidance and the power of righteous thoughts have helped me walk out of imprisonment with dignity. Over the years, I also went through several serious tests of illness karma, and each time, I made it through under Master’s protection. However, in terms of personal cultivation, I fell short. I’d like to share some of my experiences in improving my xinxing while cultivating within the family environment.

Overall, I was generally able to tolerate being hurt and was generally able to look within when conflicts arose. But when it came to my husband and children, it was a different story. At first, I didn’t pay much attention to how I treated them. Whenever my husband said or did something I didn’t like, I yelled at him, looked down on him, thought he was dumb, and even tried to intimidate him. In fact, my husband is very kind. He treats everyone sincerely, and would rather suffer losses himself than harm others. He has earned trust and respect wherever he’s gone. He has many admirable qualities that I should learn from. In daily life, he cares for and protects me. In cultivation, we are both disciples of Master, helping and reminding each other.

After I married my husband, my mother-in-law didn’t like me, and I didn’t like her, either. Although I suppressed my emotions outwardly, I still felt resentful inside. Since we married young and had a child early (acts that would normally attract punishment from the CCP government), my mother-in-law feared being implicated and told us to move out. Though her family was well-off, we received no help when we moved out. Once, when I asked her for some rice, she not only refused, but also scolded me. I argued with her, and ever since then, I held a deep resentment toward her.

On August 30, 2002, my husband and I were both arrested by CCP agents for practicing Falun Dafa. I was brutally tortured; my arms were broken from being hung up. After about 40 days of cruel abuse, I went on a hunger strike to protest the persecution. With Master’s guidance, I was released. My mother-in-law, aunt, and uncle picked me up from the hospital and took me to my mother-in-law’s home.

After I was released, I learned that my mother-in-law had sold our house and moved all our belongings into her place. She didn’t give me any of the money from the sale (though later, when my husband was released, she did give us money to help us buy another house). At that time, I had no choice but to stay at her home.

One evening after making dinner, I asked my mother-in-law, “Should I bring this dish to the table or not?” She replied coldly, “If you want to, then do it. If you don’t, leave it there. No one in this house holds back for anyone.” My younger brother-in-law and his wife were there, but no one said a word. My heart felt like it was bleeding. I knew then, if I got angry and went to my parents’ house, no one would have enjoyed that meal. So I forced myself to hold back my tears and stay. That night I couldn’t fall sleep, even by 2 a.m. I told my mother-in-law, “I will not stay here forever. Please ask about that house that just became vacant, and help me rent it; they might not rent it to me. I’ll take the child and live there.” My parents-in-law stayed silent and didn’t help me rent the house.

Later, with the help of other practitioners, I worked odd jobs to support myself. I also had to frequently visit my husband in prison. Life was difficult and financially tight. My child stopped attending school in the second year of middle school, and went to work. This deepened my resentment for my mother-in-law.

My parents-in-law raised and cared for my brother-in-law’s child, and they supported his education. They also helped my brother-in-law financially when he bought a house. My child, on the other hand, didn’t even finish middle school and had to go to work. Yet every time we visited them, I brought them lots of good food. Even so, my sister-in-law still said that my in-laws favored us. All these comparisons and experiences left me feeling deeply wronged, and the resentment tortured me. It would surface now and then. Every time I got really upset, I wanted to talk it out with my in-laws. But I kept thinking: they are elderly now, and I am a cultivator, I can’t act like that. Then, once I got home, I regretted not speaking up.

Through studying the Fa, my xinxing gradually improved. As my mindset changed, so did their attitudes. They began to see the kindness of Dafa disciples and experience the goodness of Dafa. When the police came to harass us, they chose to protect us. They are indeed truly remarkable!

During the pandemic, my mother-in-law was hospitalized, and my husband, brother-in-law, and I took turns taking care of her in the hospital. She was overweight and needed help going to the restroom, which would leave my husband drenched in sweat each time. I took care of the garbage, washed her urine-stained pants, and cleaned her dentures. It was freezing at the time, and the cold water stung my hands. I thought, “Just rinse it quickly and be done.” Then I reminded myself: Would I wash my own clothes that way? I’m a cultivator, I can’t do that. So I washed her pants thoroughly. It’s because I practice Dafa; otherwise, given how poorly she treated me before, I would never have done that. After seeing my behavior, my sister-in-law also began to take care of her mother earnestly.

In June 2024, my younger brother had a worksite accident. He lost his livelihood and was given 2.2 million yuan [about $300,000] in compensation. I resented his wife for not transferring him to another hospital for further treatment—he passed away on the way home. My mother is 76 and had only one son. My father died at 54, and my mother relied on my brother in her later years. His death was a devastating blow to her—it felt like the sky collapsed. Afterward, my sister-in-law told my mom, with us three sisters present, “Don’t think about getting any of that money—if you get sick, I’ll take care of you. You won’t lack for food or clothes.” My mother and we three sisters were very upset hearing that. After we left, my sister-in-law installed a camera in my mom’s room, so my mom didn’t even dare speak when someone visited. Seeing how sad my mom was made me feel just as unsettled.

In July, my mother got sick and was hospitalized. My sister-in-law called and asked me to take care of my mom. I thought: I’m a Dafa disciple. I can’t refuse to take care of my mom just because my sister-in-law didn’t give the money for my brother to my mom.

Master said,

“Compassion is expressed in this world through love and kindness, and these are qualities that those who practice Dafa should always radiate from within.” (“A Wake-Up Call”)

Although my xinxing still fell short, I knew I must follow Master’s teachings and treat everyone with compassion.

I stayed four nights at the hospital. After my mother was discharged, I changed my mindset and no longer resented my sister-in-law for installing the surveillance camera. I realized that everyone around me is helping to shape me into a Dafa disciple. After I achieved this enlightenment, everything in front of me began to change—the surveillance camera turned out to be a good thing. I had the attachment of gossiping behind others’ backs, and this enlightenment helped to suppress many of my negative tendencies. I told my mom, “My sister-in-law doesn’t have an easy life. Her parents are gone, and she doesn’t have many relatives around her. Just treat her like another daughter.”

When I stayed at my sister-in-law’s home, I treated it like my own home and did as many chores as I could. I washed clothes for my mom, my sister-in-law, and my niece. I cleaned the rooms and fetched water from the first floor and carried it up to the seventh. Not only did I not feel exhausted—I actually felt quite at ease. When I left, my sister-in-law sincerely said, “You don’t have to be so earnest with everyone!”

After returning home, I heard an elderly practitioner say, “It’s been 200 million years.” I thought: we’ve reincarnated for 200 million years—how hard that must be! Then I thought about my family members who don’t cultivate. They’re in the dark and have suffered so much. I must strictly follow Master’s teachings so they can see the beauty of Dafa and be saved.