Cultivating My Character While Suffering Losses

(Minghui.org) My husband was a military officer and we were allocated a new, spacious, centrally-located apartment. We loved the place and thought it would be our home for life. We spent a lot buying trendy appliances and furniture to make it really nice.

A year later, my husband was transferred to the civilian sector. The civilian employer had just finished reorganizing their housing program and had only one unit left. The apartment they gave us was in an old, run-down building. Since we still had a loan for our first place, we didn’t spend any money renovating it. We simply cleaned it up and brought over some of our belongings. We thought that this would only be a temporary residence, and we’d end up moving back to our original apartment, so we left most of our belongings there.

However, my husband let his younger brother and his family move into our first apartment without telling me. I was upset when I found out, feeling that he was hiding things from me. I then thought, “Aren’t Falun Dafa practitioners supposed to be good people? It’s a good thing to do a favor for my brother-in-law and his family. The apartment is still ours. Once he gets his own place, we can move back in. Since they’re family, I’m sure they’ll take care of our furniture and appliances.”

But when I went back to the first apartment to pick up my violin, I saw my brother-in-law wearing a pair of slippers my mother made for me. He was also using new towels to wipe off the coffee table. They, too, were gifts from my mother.

My heart ached! However, I didn’t say anything, thinking that, since I’m a Falun Dafa practitioner, I should let it go. But I still complained to myself: “I let you live in my apartment, but I didn’t give you my belongings! How dare you use my things? Don’t you realize you are just a guest!” Not only that, my younger sister-in-law acted as if I were intruding. Instead of expressing gratitude, she resented me.

On a subsequent visit, I saw my brother in-law wearing another pair of my hand-made slippers. I then came to realize that my brother-in-law’s family had taken the apartment as their own. They took possession of whatever belongings they could make use of and gave away the rest. My heart ached again, but I kept silent.

I understood I needed to discard these attachments, which not only included material things but also affection for my mother. When I thought about how my elderly mother had made those slippers for me, I felt the deep bond between us and wanted to cry. I quickly got control of myself and thought, “It’s over! It’s over! She’s already gone!” From then on, I never went back to our first place again.

My brother-in-law lived there for over a decade. At one point, several of my husband’s siblings and their families gathered at my mother-in-law’s house. During the conversation, I happened to learn that my husband had sold the apartment to my brother-in-law for only 70,000 yuan. My in-laws had hid this from me. I was shocked. Not to mention how many times the market value of the apartment had multiplied over the past decade, it would have been worth several hundred thousand yuan at the very least.

I couldn’t accept what my husband had done. I was in turmoil and filled with anger. I thought: “First, you snuck your brother into our apartment, and then you sold it to him behind my back. How could you be so unreasonable? When your parents beat and scolded me, didn’t you tearfully promise me that you’d treat me well? Is what you did treating me well? Your family didn’t contribute a penny to the purchase of the apartment, but my parents did. How could you sell it without a word to me?

“I ran our home with all my heart. It was not only an apartment, but our beautifully-furnished home! Even the refrigerator was full. My brother-in-law didn’t need to buy anything; they simply moved in and started living! For over a decade, they lived there rent-free, while we lived in a run-down building but continued paying off the mortgage for my brother-in-law!” I was so heartbroken and so angry!

I also recalled how my in-laws’ fabricated stories and acted recklessly to make things difficult for me during the years my husband was in the military. I was home alone taking care of our child. It was so painful that I planned to commit suicide on several occasions. My brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law all sided with their mother and encouraged her to treat me poorly. The more I thought about it, the more I hated them. I hated every one of them. If I hadn’t learned Falun Dafa, I would have wanted them out of my life.

However, I thought again, “But since I’m a Falun Dafa practitioner, I must behave like one.” I forced myself to follow Master’s teaching: I let go of my resentment and selfishness and did not argue with them. I just let things take their own course. I thought, “The apartment is already my brother-in-law’s, so there’s no need to argue.” I endured it and tried to calm down.

In this way, a seemingly inevitable crisis was avoided. Everything was finally settled! My mother-in-law even said to my husband’s siblings, “You couldn’t find such a good sister-in-law in all the villages around.” My sister-in-law chimed in, “There’s only one sister-in-law like her in the whole country!”

I told them, “Don’t say that I’m the only good one. All Falun Dafa practitioners are like this. Falun Dafa is good, and Master Li’s teachings are good. If I didn’t practice it, I would be arguing and fighting for my self-interest, just like everyone else.” My husband and his entire family looked at me with a sense of guilt and admiration.

Although the matter seemed over, a subtle thought still crossed my mind sometimes: “The situation Master described in Zhuan Falun does exist, but it does not necessarily mean it was my situation! That apartment was mine in every sense; how could it not be mine in the end? Give him the 70,000 yuan and take my apartment back!” I was still attached to the apartment and was not firmly believing in Master and the Fa. I felt I was right and didn’t realize I still had resentment.

However, when I opened Zhuan Falun and reread that section, I could almost hear Master’s voice. A powerful energy gushed from the top of my head straight into my heart; my entire body shook. I couldn’t help but cry out, “Master, you’re talking about me! You’re talking about me!” I felt Master was right next to me and knew everything about me, including the attachment I couldn’t let go of.

At that moment, my attachment to the apartment disappeared completely. I felt grateful for my husband because he gave me an opportunity to pay back a past debt. I also came to understand why my brother-in-law didn’t consider himself a guest and why my sister-in-law was upset. I indeed intruded upon their living space with an attitude of righteous indignation. I also realized that everything in that apartment was theirs, regardless of how it ended up there.

It’s interesting to note that, during that time, my husband quietly bought a large house with a garage. After the house was built and furnished, the housing market soared, and we sold the apartment in the old building for the exact market price of our first place.

I personally experienced that, if we let go of our attachments and sincerely cultivate by following the Fa, what is ours will not be lost, and what is not ours cannot be obtained by force. So we improve our xinxing in the process. Master’s arrangements are all for the best!