(Minghui.org) “It’s not enough to just hold information days. We need a project that can reach all Germans—for example a newspaper.” A practitioner expressed these thoughts more than 20 years ago during an experience-sharing conference. We also talked about how we could reach even more people, so they’d hear about the persecution faced by Falun Dafa practitioners.
The idea of starting a newspaper made sense to me, but at the time I had no idea how to set it up and implement it, or what role I would play.
A few years later, my sister, who also practices Falun Dafa, told me that practitioners established a newspaper and she wanted to write articles. She suggested that I help with the design.
There was a weekly print edition, but it was discontinued in 2012 and I was no longer needed. It wasn’t until 10 years later that I became part of the project again. All these years I wished to be part of The Epoch Times.
Clarifying the Truth About Falun Dafa at Work
At that time, I would never have considered leaving my secure job at an architecture firm. I felt free, independent, and enjoyed a relatively carefree period of cultivation. Sometimes I even thought that cultivation was easy and that I had few attachments because everything was going so smoothly. I had enough money and could take vacations whenever I wanted so that I could participate in activities all over the world.
My boss, who built up a successful family business, valued and trusted me. As an employee who had been with the company almost since its founding, I often had to train new employees. There were few conflicts, and I was able to resolve them very quickly based on the Fa principles.
When I interviewed for the job years ago, I explained to my boss and his wife what Falun Dafa is and that I practice it. During the 18 years that I worked there I repeatedly explained to him, his family, and my coworkers about the persecution in China. I also told them about the Tian Guo Marching Band and Shen Yun, which he attended with his wife and two other relatives.
One time, when he was in Changchun, China on business, a Chinese taxi driver drove past Master’s house and started slandering him and Falun Dafa, my boss said, “A Falun Dafa practitioner works for me and she is a very good employee.” Those who believe that Falun Dafa is good and support Falun Dafa practitioners will be blessed and experience happiness.
Master taught us,
“I have often said that during the Fa-rectification I don’t hold the past faults of any sentient being against him, and that I look only at a sentient being’s attitude toward Dafa during the Fa-rectification.” (“Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
The family business grew from 2 to 30 employees, and we had no problem getting contracts.
Recognizing Clues
One day in 2022, an employee of The Epoch Times suddenly called me and asked if I wanted to get involved in designing the newspaper again, as there would be also a print edition. My body shook and I immediately said yes.
By now I had reduced my hours at work and considered helping with the newspaper one day a week. A short time later, however, it turned out that I was not needed after all and I was very disappointed.
Again I thought that my time had simply not come yet. But, some time later another employee from The Epoch Times called and suggested that I learn to write articles.
I remembered the early days many years ago when my sister wrote articles. At that time I did not even trust myself to write a caption because I thought I couldn’t do it. But now I took the call as a hint and since the employee offered to teach me to write, I agreed. I thought I would stay in my old job for 4 days and only write for ET on the 5th day. I told myself that I would be at ET full-time some day, but that day was still a long way off.
In the summer of 2022, a major meeting with all employees took place near Berlin. When my colleague asked me why I didn’t begin working full-time, I made all sorts of excuses again. My father was already elderly and I couldn’t just move to a far-away city now. Deep down, I didn’t want to give up my secure, comfortable job. The illusion that I would lose everything came up in me. But as cultivators, we are required to let go of attachment to material gain and “raise our level,” as Master emphasizes in lecture four of Zhuan Falun. Practitioners in the Fa-rectification period must fulfill their vows.
Decision Made
By the autumn of the same year, I was about 80 percent sure, and I felt that the time would soon be right for me to join the newspaper. After the Fa conference in Warsaw in October, I no longer had any doubts. The story of a practitioner who had left his well-paying job behind to work wholeheartedly at ET touched me deeply. And again, two ET employees asked me if I would like to work full-time at The Epoch Times. I made my decision in the foyer of the conference hall.
When I resigned from my job, my boss was pretty upset and shouted that I couldn’t resign. I rarely saw him so upset. When he calmed down a little, he said, okay, after six months you can come back. I’ll keep your position here for you. I was deeply touched and felt the deep appreciation of a living being for Falun Dafa and for me as a practitioner. I understood why Master sent me to work in this office.
After that, everything went very quickly, I had wonderful, in-depth conversations with my colleagues and was able to tell everyone more about The Epoch Times and my new mission. The accountant burst into tears during our conversation and hugged me. In the few weeks that remained, there were several farewell dinners and I felt how people deeply understood how much depended on my new task. Now I clearly felt that my time there was really over.
Overcoming Obstacles and Difficulties
During the first two weeks after I started working full-time from home for The Epoch Times, I drove to Berlin to get a feel for the place. I planned to move there as soon as possible. But since I had lived in a small village my whole life I avoided big cities as much as possible, I became painfully aware in those two weeks of what it would mean to live in a big city.
A practitioner tried to encourage me and said that Master would definitely arrange an apartment for me that I could live in. But I had strong doubts. In addition, I never moved before and didn’t know how I would ever find an apartment.
I was suddenly faced with a huge mountain of bureaucracy and things to do. I also realized what the profession of journalism meant and I saw how far I was from it. Two other colleagues and I finally signed up for a training course. From one day to the next, my simple and pleasant life was over and I was faced with unprecedented challenges. Given the heavy workload, I couldn’t even imagine having time to move.
Since I left my old job, it seemed as if my cultivation was starting from scratch. Attachments that I thought I didn’t have began to appear, and others that I thought I had already worked through resurfaced in full force. My pressure grew day by day, and I kept asking myself whether I was doing the right thing.
I calmed down. I understood that my true nature can only be revealed during trials and that it was time to raise my level, and therefore my difficulties increased.
Master said,
“We have already eliminated for you many, countless portions of it, leaving only that tiny bit that is divided into tribulations at different levels for improving your xinxing, tempering your mind, and removing your various attachments. These are all your own tribulations that we use to improve your xinxing, and you will be able to overcome them.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
So what can be wrong with working full-time for a Dafa project? Isn’t our mission to save people? I was even allowed to do it full time while others had to go to a regular job. Hurdles that presented themselves would only serve to maintain my required dignity and purity to be able to work for the project at all and I would overcome them.
I vowed to continue on the path, no matter how difficult it became. After a few months of working from home, I felt the great separation from the office in Berlin and felt alone.
After a merit system was introduced, I felt unfairly treated, as I felt that as a beginner, I had to do just as much as experienced editors. I was envious of others who, from my point of view, had nicer and easier tasks. Sometimes I woke up in the morning in a panic and bad thoughts towards my superiors would emerge. I formed strong thought karma during this time.
When I was praised, again my desire for fame kicked in and I hoped my articles would be read more. When my articles were placed quite low on the website, I was disappointed and angry. On the other hand, I felt ashamed because I thought I wasn’t good enough. Sometimes I even wished that as few people as possible would read my articles. And when a reader occasionally pointed out a mistake, I would almost sink into the ground. I was constantly afraid of losing face.
My situation came to a head when a morning topic round was introduced and I was to be responsible for a specific area. At my previous job, I had been the experienced one, but now I was the one who had to ask for help with everything. I was afraid of being laughed at, criticized, and rejected if I didn’t meet the requirements. I was also desperate because I felt my progress was too slow.
This went on for a few months and sometimes I would sit in front of a topic and my thoughts would spin. It felt like heaven and earth were being overturned and I couldn’t get anything down on paper. Every day felt like a year. Finding an apartment in Berlin from southern Germany also proved to be an impossible task. While many people already found apartments, I hadn’t even been invited to a single viewing. I was disappointed and desperate.
Master said,
“When you are overcoming a real hardship or tribulation, you try it. When it is difficult to endure, try to endure it. When it looks impossible and is said to be impossible, give it a try and see if it is possible. If you can actually do it, you will indeed find, “After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!”” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
Letting Go, But Not Giving Up
Master’s Fa and the encouragement of fellow practitioners helped me to not give up. Suddenly there were glimmers of hope when Master offered me help. For example, a practitioner invited me to live with her for two months so that I could look for an apartment. I was relieved and accepted the offer.
I was also suddenly able to easily move to another area of the company, which had not been possible before, but that only happened when I was able to accept my situation.
When I finally arrived in Berlin for the two months, it felt as if I had lifted a huge mountain of suffering and the situation was much more relaxed. I became part of the community and was often moved to tears by the way the practitioners welcomed me.
But as the time came closer when I had to return to my home office, I was nervous and irritable. Then I remembered that Master already arranged my path, exactly the way that was best for me. I just had to accept his arrangement.
A week before the end of the two months, I resigned myself to going back to my home office. But then something unexpected happened: I was the one out of 300 applicants who found an apartment tailored just for me, on the edge of the forest and not far from the lake, for exactly the price I could afford. I could hardly believe it! In addition, the move-in date was perfectly arranged, as I still had enough time to properly sort everything out.
I’ve now lived in Berlin since February, and there are still ups and downs, but when I look back on the last two years, I’m convinced that if I don’t give up, Master will always be by my side.
In conclusion, I’d like to share a quote from Master which has always guided me to be braver and be worthy of the title of “Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period.”
Master said,
“You can achieve any spiritual heights if you have the guts!” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XV)
(Selected article presented at the 2024 Germany Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
Copyright © 2024 Minghui.org. All rights reserved.
