Getting Rid of Selfishness While Navigating Through Tribulations

(Minghui.org) My husband was diagnosed with leukemia last spring. We exhausted all our savings on his medical treatment and were in debt. His platelet count remained dangerously low and required him to be on chemotherapy.

We also had to move house and I was under a lot of pressure to find a place to live, and handled all the moving by myself. I had no time to study the Fa or do the exercises. On top of that, I was exhausted from accompanying my husband to the hospital for over a month, as well as going back and forth to the police station to apply for our identification cards. I was constantly worrying about him and eventually collapsed. My left leg hurt so much that I could not move or get out of bed. It was extremely painful, even when I tried to stand up from sitting on the bed.

Facing My Selfish Mindset

A fellow practitioner found out about my situation and kindly let me stay at her home. Several other practitioners also came to study the Fa, do the exercises, and help me find my attachments. I looked inward, and found resentment, seeking personal interest, fear, and relying on Dafa as a form of protection. 

I also realized that I wasn’t respectful of Master Li and the Fa, as I was longing for the so-called “beautiful and happy” life in the human world. My greatest resentment was towards my husband. Through continuously looking within, I worked on getting rid of those attachments and rectifying myself based on Dafa’s standards.

All those attachments originated from selfishness. I needed to cultivate myself to eliminate my selfishness. Fellow practitioners studied the Fa Lecture “Expounding on the Fa” (Essentials for Further Advancement) with me, which helped me let go of my confusion and misunderstanding. 

I continued to rectify my thoughts and deny the old forces’ persecution. Meanwhile, I continued to look within and made a note of the attachments I found. I then rectified my thoughts that deviated from the Fa and eliminated my selfishness.

I lay in bed and asked Master for help: “Master, please let me walk again so I can find a place to live and move away from here. Everything is up to you to decide, and I will follow your guidance.” I then fell asleep. After I woke up, my leg was fine. I could walk again! I went out looking for a rental place and found the one I now call home. Two fellow practitioners kindly lent me 9,000 yuan, which allowed me to pay the rent and move in.

I had a dream during my first night at the new place. I saw a vast green rice field. When I woke up, I saw two traditional Chinese characters “進” (“advance”) on the ceiling. I realized Master enlightened me that I’d broken through the tribulation with his help. This was the first restful sleep I had in over four months. I’m deeply grateful for Master’s compassionate guidance, which helped me navigate through another tribulation.

I posted an advertisement for subletting the old rental place with the consent of the landlord. However, after I found a tenant, the landlord tried to obstruct the arrangement, including cursing at the tenant. As a result, the tenant informed me that he no longer wanted to rent the place and asked for a refund of the rent. 

I did not want to cancel the contract, as I needed the money for my husband’s medical treatment. I argued with the tenant for an entire afternoon until I realized that I needed to approach this situation based on the Fa. As a Dafa practitioner, I should not argue with someone over my personal interests. What is mine will never be lost, and what is not mine cannot be taken by me. I decided to refund the tenant. The next day, I returned more than 5,000 yuan and tore up the contract. Once again, I was able to put aside my selfishness and think of others first.

Spring soon arrived and, thanks to Master’s compassion, my husband’s health took a remarkable turn for the better and all his health indicators returned to normal. My entire family is deeply grateful to Master and Dafa!

Finding Work to Solve Financial Challenges

I still faced the significant financial challenges of paying off the debts we accumulated for my husband’s medical treatment, as well as trying to cover our living expenses. My husband started selling roasted sweet potatoes which only allowed for a small income. Living with the uncertainty of how to cover our next meal brought immense pressure upon me, and I often found myself crying alone at home. 

It was not easy for me to find a job because I was close to 60 years old. I applied for several tutoring jobs, but they turned me down because of my age. A practitioner suggested that I go to Changchun City to work as a nanny for a higher salary than I could make locally. This was a situation that I would have never imagined myself in. In addition, most homes have surveillance cameras when employing nannies, which would make it impossible for me to study the Fa and do the exercises. I was also not skillful at cooking, nor comfortable living in someone’s home. I really did not want to go down this path.

I did visit the employment agency, and I started receiving messages from them every day. However, I wasn’t ready to leave for Changchun. My husband was dissatisfied with me and often got angry. Resentment rose within me as I looked at him and reminded myself of how I had lived most of my life without even a proper home and ended up with a lot of debt. I tried to suppress the attachment and get rid of it. But I struggled, and sometimes I felt that there was no way out. 

If it weren’t for my cultivation practice, I might not be able to endure a life like this. My husband was not helpful at all. Master saved him and helped him recover from his critical illness, but he was no longer interested in reading Dafa books. I cared about him and borrowed over 10,000 yuan to pay his labor insurance and was still paying 1,000 yuan every month. Yet he treated me poorly despite all my efforts!

When I eventually calmed down, I realized that I was actually looking outward. I once again began to truly look inward and ask myself what I should do as a Dafa practitioner when facing this situation, 

Could I let my husband, who had just escaped a life-threatening condition, go out to earn money to support the family while I stayed at home? No, that’s too selfish. Can I put aside my selfishness and go to Changchun to work for the best interest of this family? Yes, I can. Am I willing to go to an environment that I least want to be in and play a role that I least want to play? I should, as my unwillingness is the desire to save face. 

Since I want to transcend this realm of existence, I must break free from these attachments. Can I let go of my pride in order to support the family and pay back the money that our relatives lent us when we needed it the most? I’m a Dafa practitioner. If I cannot repay the debt we owe, what will our relatives think of my behavior? If they form a negative impression of Dafa because of my actions, could they miss the opportunity to be saved?

I did some soul-searching and eventually came to understand that Master’s Fa-rectification process is the renewal of the old universe, and we can only enter the new universe by assimilating to the Fa. Therefore, I must get rid of selfishness, break free from the selfish nature of the old universe, and become a selfless life. I also needed to renew my life in order to help offer salvation to all the sentient beings in the heavenly realm I represent. 

I was willing to let go of my ego, eliminate selfishness, assimilate to the Fa, and become a righteous enlightened being who meets the standard of the new universe. So I decided to go work in Changchun to address our financial challenges and cultivate myself no matter where I live.

After some twists and turns, I finally found myself working in Changchun as a live-in teacher. The first placement was to be responsible for teaching and caring for a nine-year-old boy. His mother listened when I was teaching him and was very satisfied. There was one challenge, though, and that was I needed to share a room and bed with the boy. I caught a cold the first night since the boy kicked off the quilt we shared. My throat was very sore. The boy also showed symptoms of a cold.

On the third night, his mother asked me to leave, fearing cross-infection. I had to go back home feeling very upset, since my job and 6,000-yuan monthly salary were gone. When I calmed down, I thought there might be another, better job waiting for me, one with a higher salary and better living situation.

I received a call from the agency two days after I returned home. A couple was looking for a live-in teacher. After the interview, they were very satisfied with me. I moved into the home the next day and was responsible for the care of a 10-year-old boy in the fourth grade. My salary was 7,000 yuan. I could live in the study room that had a sofa bed and shared a bathroom with the boy. His parents used the other bathroom. The child’s parents did not return home for lunch.

When I finally came to this new environment, I realized that I had changed. Whenever I encountered a conflict, I would look inward. I treated myself as a true Dafa practitioner and used the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance to measure if something was right or wrong. I constantly rectified and elevated my thoughts and genuinely saw every situation as an opportunity for cultivation. I strove to improve quickly in this environment and align with the mindset Master asked us to have—the mindset of saving sentient beings.

When I truly reflected on myself in this way, I found myself being freed from the various constraints of selfishness from the old universe. It was as if I had completely transformed my perspective on things. I no longer focused on the problems around me, but truly thought about fulfilling my responsibilities. 

I also came to understand the seriousness of cultivation. I must cultivate diligently and be responsible for the predestined people I meet, which could be the very opportunity they are waiting for. I no longer worry too much about my personal interests and safety. I just try my best to meet the standard that Dafa and Master require of us.

When my employer verbally abused me, I not only endured it, but also looked within to find my omissions. When the 10-year-old boy hit me, I not only taught him manners, but also repeatedly examined my notions and constantly rectified myself. I am grateful to these sentient beings for helping me to eliminate these notions and walk a divine path. Although I sometimes felt entitled to be a little lazy, I quickly realized I must act righteously in everything I do.

After I finished class with the boy, he usually returned to his room to sleep, while I studied the Fa, did the exercises, and sent forth the righteous thoughts in the study. At first, I was concerned there might be surveillance cameras, but I decided not to let that stop me from practicing the exercises. I should not allow fear and selfishness control me. I continued to do the exercises and let go of my fear and personal interests. If they want to employ me, I would do the work well. If they did not want me because of my practice, I would leave and find another opportunity. I later learned that this family had no surveillance cameras.

After finishing my work, I studied the Fa, and learned English words and grammar to improve my professional skills. In both work and life, I treated my student as my own child. I pass on the compassion and kindness of Dafa practitioners to the precious sentient beings who have predestined relationships with me.

I’m deeply grateful for Master’s infinite grace in blessing me with this well-paying job. I’m also grateful for Master’s guidance in helping me break through these tribulations and leading me into a bright future!