(Minghui.org) My mother is 87 years old this year. She lives on her own in the city, her health is good, and she’s financially independent. I often help her with household chores. Recently, every time I go to her place, she complains about my aunt. I try to calm her down by saying that the aunt lives in the countryside and life isn’t easy for country people, and that she shouldn’t get upset over trivial things. However, my mother is angry and can’t stop complaining.
One day, I went to my mother’s place and my aunt was there. I took out two pairs of new socks and asked my aunt to choose a pair for herself. She chose the pair which had patterns. Just then my mother walked out of the kitchen. She grabbed the pair from my aunt’s hand and said she wanted that one for herself. I didn’t like the way she behaved and thought she was being unreasonable.
I failed to realize that the way she behaved was an opportunity for me to look within. I always thought my mother was in the wrong, and didn’t use what I saw to improve my xinxing.
A few days later, my older brother called me and said our mother was ill. My husband and I immediately went to see her. She was lying in bed and said she felt a lot better. She was no longer dizzy and her blood pressure also dropped. She told us what happened was the aunt’s fault.
She said my aunt called her the day before and told her she spent more than ten days at my youngest uncle’s place. She also told my mother that her oldest daughter is organizing an activity and asked my mother to spend a few days there. My mother was angry after the call and thought my aunt should have called her sooner. She was so upset that she couldn’t sleep all night and fell ill as a result. I thought my mother was overreacting and I silently complained about her.
My Mother’s Unreasonable Behavior Exposes My Attachments
I started to look within: Why does my mother always complain and display her resentment in front of me? The fact is that I also harbor resentment towards my mother—I think she’s unreasonable and unforgiving; she also often repeats what the Chinese Communist Party says. Each time I ask her not to believe the lies on TV, but she refuses to listen.
I look down on her for being narrow minded and stingy. Isn’t this a manifestation of my jealousy? I also see my attachment to self-interest: I enjoy hearing good things about myself. I thought: These human thoughts are not my true self, and I must eliminate them.
After I let go of these attachments, my mother stopped complaining about my aunt. I now realize that I must always look within myself when I see others’ shortcomings.
My husband and his family often bad-mouth others. When I looked at myself I realized that I sometimes talk about other practitioners behind their backs and failed to cultivate my speech. When practitioners praised me I examined myself, and usually found that I have also flattered someone. Whenever I’m attached to money, another practitioner tells me which store is having a sale. Each time I held some fear, I would see a suspicious car parked in front of our building, etc.
I now realize that nothing is accidental in cultivation, and everything around us helping us cultivate our xinxing—they are all good things and help us cultivate. Each time a human notion arises, we should see through it so that we don’t go along with it. We should view it with righteous thoughts and eliminate it.
When I dig deeper, I can see that behind every human notion is selfishness. Practitioners should always consider others first, in order to reach the altruistic standard of the new universe. I’m determined to eliminate all my human attachments by constantly rectifying myself and following the path Master arranged for me.
The above are just some of my personal understandings. Please kindly point out anything improper.
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