Getting Rid of My Attachments to Self-interest, Jealousy, and Showing Off

(Minghui.org) I’ve been working on getting rid of my attachments to self-interest, jealousy, and showing off in recent years. So I have some experience and thoughts on the matter that I’d like to share. Please kindly point out anything that is not in line with the Fa.

My Attachment to Self-interest

I was reported to the police in June 2018 for clarifying the facts about Dafa in public. I was illegally arrested and held in custody for five days. I was arrested again in July 2021 and detained for seven days. After being released, I could clearly feel a series of attacks from a thick negative substance. Over time, these persistent attacks and my own anxiety were wearing me out—I was exhausted! My only line of defense was reciting the Fa and sending forth righteous thoughts for long periods of time.

My attachment to self-interest caused this tribulation. Ever since my detention in 2018, authorities from the city’s Commission for Discipline Inspection, Supervisory Commission, and Ministry of Education Commission for Discipline Inspection repeatedly harassed me. They threatened to penalize me and withhold my salary. Although my salary was eventually paid in full after I persistently clarified the facts to all levels of those government agencies, I was afraid of suffering financial loss. Strangely enough, the harassment and threats no longer affected me, as I knew I could talk to those officials in an upright and dignified manner and help save them.

But, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic, all sectors of China’s economy suffered and rapidly declined. To keep it from collapsing, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) placed a heavier tax burden on small businesses and the middle and lower classes. This deepened my financial insecurity.

My arrest prompted me to look inward and focus on my shortcomings. What loophole caused this tribulation? I quickly realized it was my attachment to self-interest. I was aware of and had been working on this attachment but had yet to completely eliminate it. I examined my thoughts and actions prior to my arrest. Sure enough, my attachment to self-interest flared up right before the arrest. Instead of suppressing it, I found excuses for it: “I’m not attached to wealth but if an opportunity arises, I will seize it and surely not waste any chance to make money.” I thought: “What a strong attachment to self-interest. What would Master have to do to help me get rid of it?” That very night, I was reported and arrested.

Ever since I took up Dafa cultivation, I’ve struggled to eliminate my attachment to self-interest. This could manifest in many different ways—I categorized them into greed, stinginess, pettiness, being overly frugal, and an obsession with discounts and free giveaways. I tried to tackle each area separately. I now realize my efforts were very superficial, focusing only on letting go of that particular thing in that particular situation, because that’s what a practitioner is supposed to do. My fundamental attachment to self-interest was never touched. The incorrect thoughts of investing and making money caused my last two arrests. As soon as I found my attachment, my heart felt calm. This was Master’s encouragement.

Having figured out my fundamental attachment, I started spending more time reciting the Fa and sending righteous thoughts. I was more strict with myself and held myself to the high standards of the Fa. I wanted to cultivate solidly and get rid of my attachment to self-interest. So when even the faintest thought of self-interest arose, I immediately eliminated it with the power bestowed by Dafa. After a while, I was able to truly let go. No amount of money mattered to me anymore. I was able to take monetary benefits lightly and eventually let go of even the concept of it. My mind no longer connected a specific thing to a price tag, and I was able to calmly watch things unfold naturally. It was extremely liberating, and I experienced a sense of freedom like never before.

Getting Rid of Jealousy

A practitioner and I went to the countryside to clarify the facts in June 2020. As we traveled along a dirt road, the throttle on my motorbike was suddenly stuck, and the brakes stopped working. I quickly took out the key to turn off the engine, while asking Master for help. The motorbike stopped. After the practitioner on the back of the motorbike safely got off, I bent over and tried to find out what was wrong. As I turned the throttle, the motorbike charged forward with me still on it. I had to slam it into a utility pole to force it to stop, and hurt my left knee.

As soon as I got home, I sat down in the full-lotus position and looked inward. I realized right away it was my jealousy that caused the accident. It all started recently when a colleague got promoted. Just like Master said, “Yet one day this incompetent person gets a promotion instead of him … ” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)

In my opinion, this colleague of mine did not deserve the promotion. She didn’t take her teaching job seriously, was always late to work and left early, took days off without prior notice, and regularly missed important meetings. She once started a fight with the head of our department. The principal had a serious talk with her afterward and guess what she did—she brought her husband to school to get into a heated argument with the principal.

However, this very teacher received an “Excellence” mark at the year-end evaluation and rose to the ranks of “Excellent Teachers.” I didn’t agree with the administrators’ decision at all and felt it was unfair. I sensed my jealousy stirring, so I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. But my heart could not stay calm. All of this teacher’s past carelessness and questionable behaviors, the school administrators’ unintelligible choice, and the politics involved kept popping into my mind. Despite my efforts to suppress them and to keep strong righteous thoughts, my mind drifted, and I got all worked up again.

This loophole finally caught up with me. While sitting in meditation, I conjoined my hands and entered a state of tranquility. I carefully examined my incorrect thoughts for this colleague, the head of our department, and the school administrators. From there, I expanded it to include all people that I interact with on a regular basis. I examined my attitude and behavior toward them and counted other ordinary notions that stemmed from jealousy, such as resentment, competitiveness, attachment to fame, saving face, and wanting to look good in front of others.

I then dug even deeper and completely eliminated all intentions that were not in line with the Fa. I repeated the process for a long time before I started burping loudly and coughing up dark phlegm. This lasted for more than an hour and when it finally stopped, my entire body felt light and cleansed.

It became clear to me that the accident was arranged by Master to help me get rid of jealousy. With my mind and body at another level of purity, the resentment, disrespect, and anger I felt toward my colleagues were all gone. I was thankful that they provided me with this precious opportunity to improve. I’m so grateful for Master’s thoughtful arrangement and guidance!

Dafa’s Miraculous Powers

My son was put through a great trial of sickness karma when he was little, which led to the both of us to start practicing Falun Dafa in May 2006. Since then, Dafa’s incredible powers and boundless mercy have created miracle after miracle for my son and our family. It has truly been an amazing journey!

My son was completely paralyzed at the age of nine. All his joints were swollen and his muscles atrophied. He was reduced to skin and bones, weighing merely 20 pounds. After finding Dafa, we completely immersed ourselves in cultivation practice, and my son turned the corner shortly after. As we continued to study the Fa, do the exercises, and improve our character, he became better and grew stronger until he completely regained his health.

Combating a life-threatening illness, he had to stay focused on Dafa cultivation, which was the only thing that proved to work for him. Even though he didn’t put in a lot of time and effort into academic studies, Dafa gave him wisdom beyond imagination. He probably only attended three out of six years of elementary school. During middle school, he barely did any homework and only took the important exams. He also did the bare minimum in preparation for the high school entrance exams, yet aced every one of them and was accepted by a top school in the province.

We had a long meeting with his homeroom teacher before he entered high school and made it clear right off the bat that my son would not be able to complete all homework assignments due to his recovery process. He promised to pay attention in class and try to finish as much work as possible in class, but would not be able to take any home. High school kids in China have very long days and a heavy workload. 

After getting home each day, he studied the Fa and did the exercises. In his senior year, he once again did exceptionally well in the college entrance exams and was accepted by the university of his choice. After college and graduate school, he was accepted by a university in the United States to get his doctoral degree.

Getting Rid of the Mentality of Showing Off and Zealotry

As acceptance letters, full scholarship offers, and other administrative paperwork poured in from the US, my attachment to zealotry and showing off surfaced. In the process of acquiring the required documents for his visa application, I revealed my son’s plans to study abroad to my administrators who reported it to the city Education Bureau Comprehensive Administrative Committee. The Education Bureau then reported it to the city Political and Legal Affairs Committee (PLAC), the 610 Office, Domestic Security Division, and the Residential Community Committee. Officials in charge of Falun Dafa from nearly every one of these agencies called my husband and asked to have a meeting with my son.

As soon as we started receiving such phone calls, I knew it was brought about by my mentality of showing off and zealotry. These attachments left a big loophole in my cultivation to be exploited. In fact, all our blessings were bestowed on us by our great compassionate Master. Without Dafa and Master, my son wouldn’t have even lived, let alone been able to achieve all this. I was so ashamed and embarrassed the moment I realized it. I sent righteous thoughts to clear my dimensional field and eliminate the show-off mentality and zealotry.

I stared down my mentality of showing off and zealotry, which were feeling so pleased with themselves, and solemnly declared, “You don’t belong to me. I do not acknowledge you. You shouldn’t interfere with my cultivation and validation of a righteous Fa. You’re negative beings formed when I was an ordinary person but now must be eliminated!”

I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil beings and elements from other dimensions that persecuted and interfered with Dafa practitioners, preventing them from following the path arranged by Master. I would not comply with any of the evil’s unreasonable demands and would not waver.

With strong righteous thoughts and tenacious negotiation, although the authorities didn’t initially call off the meeting, they gradually gave in and compromised. At first, they were to determine the date, time, and location for the meeting but we ended up deciding a location and time that worked better for us. We were also able to accompany my son to the meeting.

Since the meeting was inevitable, I decided to take it on and use the opportunity to clarify the facts and save the officials. I also wanted to rule out any possibility that could keep my son from leaving the country.

Using his real name, my son had filed a criminal complaint in June 2015 to the People’s Supreme Court and Procuratorate against former CCP leader Jiang Zemin for launching the persecution against Dafa and his crimes against humanity. Since then, personnel from the Residential Community Committee and 610 Office agents had been harassing him, questioning him as to whether he still practiced Falun Dafa. We weren’t sure if they would do anything to stop him at the airport customs office when he was leaving China.

The head of the city’s PLAC, head and deputy head of the 610 Office, chief of the police department, director and deputy director of the Domestic Security Division, deputy head of the Education Bureau Comprehensive Administrative Committee, head of the Residential Community Committee, and Party Secretary of our school all came to the meeting.

The conversation was somewhat relaxed and the atmosphere relatively friendly. The officials did lay out several unreasonable requests for my son while he studied overseas, but each was turned down by us one by one. Toward the end of the meeting, we asked the officials to promise not to, in any way shape or form, create problems when my son went through customs at the airport. They said they would have to report to the secretary of the PLAC and get back to me.

I received a phone call the next morning from the head of the city’s 610 Office. He assured me that they would not interfere with my son leaving the country and told me not to worry. 

Thank you, Master, for watching over my son!

Conclusion

Dafa cultivation directly targets a practitioner’s heart. As long as we study the Fa with a calm and clear mind, keep the Fa close to our hearts, and always look inward when conflicts arise, Master will help us get rid of ordinary attachments and desires that are not in line with the Fa. This will enable us to improve and elevate in level and eventually achieve consummation (enlightenment).

Thank you, great and compassionate Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!