The Gratification of Putting Others’ Interests Before Your Own

(Minghui.org) When I shared experiences with another practitioner in late 2023, I said that I could now feel that I was acknowledging my personal feelings and human attachments, rather than focusing on who was right or wrong during a conflict, and once an attachment was found, I immediately understood what it was telling me. I firmly restrained and eliminated it. But considering “selflessness and altruism” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials for Further Advancement) I felt that it was more or less like a slogan. I didn’t know how to think regarding altruism.

I visited a married couple a few days later. The couple are practitioners. The wife tripped and injured her arm. She was happy to see me. She told me that she still did a lot of housework despite her injury, and she was determined to cultivate diligently and do actual cultivation. I was happy for her. Her husband came home from work not long after. He soon began to complain that she did not have priorities because before he went out to work, he asked her to do a few things, which she hadn’t done yet. I was perplexed when I saw what was happening, and I didn’t know what to do. I smiled and said, “I have to think it over when I go home and enlighten why I saw the conflict between this husband and wife.” I left after saying this.

I went home and thought about what happened, and wondered what Master wanted me to enlighten about. The next day when I was doing housework, I again remembered the conflict between the couple. I wondered why I saw that issue between the couple and thought that it was not in line with Dafa. I saw a lot of my shortcomings from their actions. But what puzzled me was that wondering what the wife did wrong? What was the matter? I recalled what happened in detail. I too do things like that wife. I do whatever I want to do. I sometimes don’t take other people’s things to heart if I think it is not important.

I enjoy freedom, and don’t want to be restrained by other people. I do what I think is right, and what I enjoy doing. I act following my heart and desire. I think it’s fine to behave like this and I think of myself as being good and pure. I asked myself, “What should I do if the same thing happens to me? How should I behave to be considered being in line with the Fa?” Thinking practicing “altruism” I should do what my family asks me to do before doing what I want to do. It should be like this. I was very happy when I thought about this.

I thought about my husband and out repeated conflicts over the past two years. If I walked east, he would walk west. I often said, “How come we don’t have any tacit understanding, with him doing one thing and myself doing something else?” I couldn’t take into my heart even a bit about anything he said and I didn’t understand whatever he was trying to express. I had now found the problem at its root: being selfish and attached to what one wants to do without considering others’ feelings. Actually letting go of one’s idea to help others to achieve his or her aim is also unselfish. I felt ashamed when I enlightened to this, and I felt guilty about my husband and my relationship.

The next day was Chinese New Year’s eve. When my husband was cleaning the yard, I felt that he didn’t clean well in some corners and edges. So I thought that I would clean those dirty spots, and that doing that was cultivating and being altruistic. I no longer blame him, look down on him, resent him, compete with him, be anxious or jealous, and so on. Being dissolved in the Fa is really so wonderful! I felt happy!

The relationship between my husband and I then became a lot more harmonious. In the past, he simply refused to do what I asked him to do. Now I no longer criticize him. But he proactively does things, having a responsible heart. This shows that one “Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal” (“Pacify the External by Cultivating the Internal,” Essentials for Further Advancement)!

Thank you, Master for reminding me of what is important!