(Minghui.org) I started Dafa cultivation in January 1996, and initially focused only on the exercises, without paying much attention to cultivation. I believed I was cultivating as long as I did the exercises daily, participated in the activities to spread the Fa, and attended group Fa study, but I wasn’t truly improving my xinxing, or letting go of my various attachments.
After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999, I thought that I was cultivating as long as I participated in truth clarification efforts, studied the Fa, did the exercises, and did not stray from the Fa.
I wasn’t earnestly cultivating my xinxing, however, and I felt that I hadn’t made much progress in this regard. As a result, I often encountered obstacles on my cultivation path. Despite facing various tribulations, my determination to follow Master has never wavered. Master saw my steadfast commitment to cultivation, and has always been watching over me.
One day when I was out alone clarifying the truth on the streets, I talked to a young man in his 30s about the importance of quitting the CCP. He didn’t believe me and wanted to report me to the police. I was not compassionate in my response, and my words were harsh. He blocked my bicycle, and started to call the police. I calmed down and said peacefully, “Your call won’t go through.” In my mind, I asked Master to help me.
I knew that person’s thoughts could be manipulated by the evil and lead to serious consequences, and only Master could help. He tried calling a second time, muttering, “Why aren’t they coming?” After about half an hour, no one showed up. I looked inward, found my attachment, and said to him, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken so harshly to you.”
As soon as I finished speaking, he immediately responded, “You can go now.” He released my bike and walked away. Reflecting on the situation, I saw my problem. When I heard him disrespecting Dafa and Master, I felt combative and called him a bad name. It touched his demonic side, inciting him to commit crimes against a Dafa disciple. Master saw my steadfast faith, and helped me resolve the tribulation.
I suffered from severe mastitis when I was in my 20s. It was so serious that I had to undergo surgery, and had eight incisions. I felt that life was worse than death. Because of my poor health, I began Dafa cultivation. In studying the Fa, I learned that Falun Dafa is true cultivation, aimed at saving people, and was not just for healing and fitness.
In my more than 20 years of cultivating, I’ve believed that I have no illness at all. Sometimes when I felt unwell, I knew it was karma elimination. In recent years, I heard that some practitioners who had suffered from mastitis had passed away from breast cancer. I also heard that having had mastitis would make one more prone to breast cancer. I thought to myself: I had mastitis when I was in my 20s, now I’m in my 70s, and I’m still fine.
This unrighteous thought, which is not in line with the Fa, brought about the tribulation. Both of my breasts started itching, swelling, and hurting. My situation worsened, coupled with my grievances and resentment during conflicts with other practitioners at that time. Only then did I realize that I needed to upgrade my xinxing, and that this was a crucial test to check whether I truly believed in Master and the Fa.
Master said:
“Your path has been arranged, and your body isn’t allowed to get sick. Really, your body isn’t allowed to be sick. Because that sickness can no longer harm you, those viruses will be killed by your positive energy. But humans tend to generate karma, and once karma is generated, the way it manifests on your body is identical to sickness.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2019 New York Fa Conference”)
I firmly believed in Master’s teachings, and did not acknowledge that I was ill. I knew the viruses would be killed by the positive energy we cultivate. At the same time, I cleared away the unrighteous thoughts that attracted the illusion of illness, as evil specters would use it to test Dafa disciples. I strived to completely negate it and eliminate it. I also found a strong sense of self-esteem within myself, which was the attachment to “self.” When this attachment was touched upon and was about to be removed, I still felt resentful and looked outward, focusing on the poor attitudes of other practitioners and their lack of compassion, rather than strictly aligning myself with the requirements of Dafa. It was also one of the reasons that the evil took advantage of to persecute me.
I rectified myself through extensive Fa study, and memorized Hong Yin VI once in about a month. I realized that I had many times dealt with issues using human notions, which created great obstacles on my path of cultivation. Master mentioned the harm of modern concepts to cultivators many times in Hong Yin VI. I now know that modern concepts were the true reason why I could not change myself fundamentally. Master helped me remove many negative substances in other dimensions, and my mind became much clearer.
The manifestation of illness karma in my body sometimes became more severe and painful when other practitioners’ words hurt me, which stirred up my human notions. At these times, I would become alert and look inward, often finding deeper, less noticeable attachments.
I let go of many attachments after continuous Fa study, constantly using the Fa to rectify and cleanse myself, and sending righteous thoughts to eliminate all unrighteous factors in me. After more than two months, one day I suddenly noticed that the manifestations of illness karma in my breasts was gone, and the pain had disappeared. When my xinxing improved, the manifestations of illness karma could not stay in my body for even a second. I hope that other practitioners can learn from my lesson and not prolong the process of improving xinxing, thereby not letting Master down.
In my over 20 years of cultivation, I believed that I had let go of my attachment to personal gain. I was willing to sacrifice anything to save sentient beings, and I didn’t care how much I gave to my children, whereas I did before. But did that mean that I had completely let go of the attachment to personal gain? Cultivation is extremely serious, and we shouldn’t keep even the slightest bit of attachment. As long as any lingering attachments exist, Master uses various opportunities to expose them and make us improve. It’s up to us how we handle problems when we encounter them.
I have two younger sisters. Due to our parents’ advanced age, their salaries and savings were managed by my youngest sister. Our parents’ medical expenses could be fully reimbursed, and they were relatively well-off. When our mother passed away in 2010, I knew that our parents had at least 150,000 yuan in savings (because when the three of us bought houses, each of us borrowed 50,000 yuan from our parents, and paid them back later). When our father passed away in 2020, my youngest sister didn’t disclose the exact amount of our parents’ assets she managed. I felt resentful about it, and several times I intended to ask why she didn’t make our parents’ assets known. However, when I shared with other practitioners about the matter, they advised me not to argue with ordinary people, and suggested I calm down, study the Fa, look inward, send righteous thoughts, and eliminate selfishness.
I seemed to understand that I shouldn’t dwell on matters of personal gain with ordinary people. However, that fundamental issue hadn’t been completely eliminated. Whenever there was a suitable environment, it would resurface. When it did, I eliminated it through continuous Fa study and self-rectification. Eventually, I finally understood that if my younger sister had acted as I wished, fairly and reasonably distributing our parents’ assets, my deeply hidden jealousy, self-interest, and selfishness would not be exposed and eliminated. She was actually helping me let go of my attachments. I truly felt grateful to her from the bottom of my heart, and to Master, and practitioners for their sharing, which helped me let go of my stubborn attachment to personal gain in three years.
I was shocked after studying Master’s recent articles “Stay Far Away from Peril” and “Cultivation in Dafa Is Serious.” Cultivation is indeed serious, and there is no room for slacking off. We must truly cultivate and fulfill the historic missions for which we signed an oath with Master.