(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I haven’t written anything for decades, so my writing ability is limited. Kindly point out anything that does not meet the standard of a practitioner.
I am 63 years old. I’m one of those practitioners who was cultivating but not truly cultivating and kept tripping over myself as I went forward, stumbling and falling.
But benevolent Master did not give up on me and repeatedly gave me opportunities. No words can express my gratitude.
After July 20, 1999, slander against Master and Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa) was spread all over China. My husband and I were illegally detained by the village committee for nearly 20 days.
Our family had to bring us food every day. It was a busy farming season. Whoever wrote a guarantee statement to stop practicing Falun Gong was allowed to go home, but those who refused to were sent to forced labor camps.
My youngest son was only six years old. I only had a perceptual understanding of Dafa and I was strongly influenced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture.
Driven by fear and attachment to my reputation and personal interest, I signed a guarantee statement, renouncing the practice.
When I think back, I’m so ashamed. I apologize to Master: Master, I was terribly wrong! And I repeatedly bow to Master.
Falun Dafa Resolved My Unanswered Questions
Ever since I was little, I could see figures coming into our house, and moving around. My mother couldn’t see them and was afraid [after I told her]. One night when I was 12 years old, the sky was pitch black. I said I saw someone in the main room. My mother scolded me and said, “You saw a ghost!” Since then, I did not dare to go outside at night by myself.
I didn’t believe in higher beings or reincarnation. When my oldest son was four years old, I had a dream in which I led him to a large yard guarded by two soldiers. There was a basketball court in the yard. A house was at the top of the stairs with soldiers guarding the entrance. I led my son into the yard.
We entered the house and saw a man dressed in a gray Zhongshan suit facing the west wall (there was a window on the west wall), and a wedding photo of him and his wife hung on the wall. He was in tears, thinking of his late wife. I walked over to him and said, “Don’t be sad. Find another woman and get married. I reincarnated a long time ago, and my son is four years old now.” I realized the woman in the photo was me.
After that, I began to wonder: Are there really past lives?
More than 20 years ago, my husband worked in a small coal mine. There were many coal mines at that time. One night, I had a dream while my husband was on the night shift: I was walking on a road, and my husband was walking behind me with his eyes closed. I said, “Open your eyes, what if you fall?” But he wouldn’t listen.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of a wagon coming behind us. I turned around, and it was a wagon pulled by four mules, which was about to run my husband over! I grabbed the mules. My husband fell, but was not hurt.
When my husband came home he said, “A rock came loose and fell. It first landed on my head and then on my back. I was knocked unconscious and a coal hauler ran over one of my legs. The others woke me up. I said I was okay. Everyone said it was unbelievable.”
I told him about my dream. I wasn’t practicing Falun Dafa yet, so I didn’t understand anything. I said, “Perhaps because I usually don’t take advantage of people, a deity protected you.”
Another time my husband was scheduled to work the night shift. It rained all day and was dreary. I had a premonition, so I didn’t let him go to work. The next morning, he mumbled, “I shouldn’t have listened to you. I didn’t show up last night without asking for time off. I’ll probably be fined. Let me ask.”
As soon as he left, he saw his second sister coming this way. She said, “Last night, 14 people were suffocated across several small coal mines, and all the small coal mines in the county were closed!” We felt so lucky.
My husband worked in a coal mine and was never seriously injured except for flesh wounds.
Fortunate to Obtain the Fa
My husband and I lived in a house with his parents and his older brother’s family. My son was younger than his older brother’s son, and he often bullied my son. Conflicts constantly arose, and I was often upset.
In 1996, I felt frequent pain in my back and on the left side of my navel. It worsened over time and I developed shortness of breath to the point of being unable to eat or sleep. I went to Zhangjiakou City Affiliated Hospital, and brought back a lot of medicines, but didn’t see any improvement.
I went to see a traditional Chinese medicine doctor, and was given infusions and herbal medicines. The side effect caused my legs to become so weak that I couldn’t even go out to buy groceries. I stopped taking the medicines since they didn’t work.
I thought perhaps I was receiving retribution for doing something wrong in my past life.
One day, my husband’s older brother told me, “Go borrow a Falun Gong book; it’s a Buddha school qigong.”
I had some doubt but I borrowed a copy of Zhuan Falun. I read it in three days, and all the questions I had since childhood were answered. I understood that premonitions and inspirations are all innate human instincts. I realized that Falun Dafa is true cultivation.
I threw away all my medicines after learning the exercises. After I practiced for a few days my shortness of breath was gone, my appetite came back, and my strength returned, except for some pain in my back and on the left side of my navel.
One night, my husband was drunk and cursed profanely, from 9 pm. until almost midnight. If this happened before I practiced Falun Gong, I would have fought with him, but I had a very good grasp of my xinxing that day.
I couldn’t fall asleep, so I got dressed and sat on the sofa, ready to read Zhuan Falun. He asked me, “What are you doing?”
I said, “You are cursing my mother, but my mother didn’t provoke you. If she bullied you in a previous life, she just paid you back. If she didn’t owe you anything, then you’re giving her De (virtue). I’m a Falun Gong practitioner now, and Master is helping me improve my xinxing and transforming my karma. I won’t fight with you.”
He said, “I’m done cursing.”
It was funny, while he was cursing earlier, with every curse he made, I felt something on my arm. The next morning, I got up and realized the pain in my back and on the left side of my belly button was completely gone!
Something I spent nearly 1500 yuan (equivalent to more than 10,000 yuan today) but could not cure, was healed after 10 days of practicing Falun Gong! My friends and relatives witnessed the miracle of Falun Gong, and some of them also began practicing.
It was July 1997. It took me a long time to pass the test.
In the summer of 1998, I went to the county seat with a practitioner, and as soon as we headed back, a rainstorm hit. We rode our bicycles in the rain and finally made it home. A thought popped up in my mind on the way, “Will I one day have finished suffering all these hardships?” (Only now do I realize that I was inviting it.)
I felt chilly as soon as I got home, and I felt worse the next day. I took an IV injection at the local hospital and developed allergic reactions. The doctor couldn’t do anything and sent me home. My old symptoms came back, and each day I felt worse.
I didn’t know how to look inside or how to understand what was happening based on the Fa. I took medicine and it didn’t help, so I sat in bed all day waiting to die. One day, my sister-in-law told me, “It won’t kill you, but it’s making you miserable. Why don’t you come with me to pick tobacco leaves (farm work) for eight yuan a day with lunch included?” I said, “Aren’t I too weak?” She said, “You won’t know if you don’t try.”
I went with the idea of giving it a try.
After a few days, I finally gave up thinking I was sick. I was getting better day after day. My appetite returned and I had more energy, and I was no longer short of breath. After a total of 40 days of picking tobacco leaves, the business owner gave me 42 days worth of pay.
I returned the extra money to the owner’s oldest son and told him, “I am a Falun Gong practitioner. Master told us to conduct ourselves according to Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I cannot take advantage of others.” I also gave ten yuan to the old man who cooked for us. They were both happy and said, “There are few people like you nowadays. None actually. Falun Gong is so good.”
Prior to this, I once thought Master no longer cared about me, an unqualified disciple. It wasn’t until a miraculous event happened that I understood: Master had been watching over me and protecting me all along.
One day, we were going to eat dumplings as special treat. I arrived half an hour early, prepared the dough and mixed the filling. I asked the woman who had been picking tobacco leaves with me to come over and help me make dumplings. She was reluctant until I repeatedly urged her.
Five minutes after she joined me, we heard a loud “rumble” noise. People all ran to the courtyard to see what had happened. As it turned out, a mule had broken free of its reins and ran onto the roof on top of the tobacco store to eat the grass. The roof collapsed, and the mule fell right on the spot where we usually sat and picked tobacco leaves!
When everyone realized we were fine, they exclaimed, “Thank goodness! The owner is blessed, you are blessed, you must be making offerings to some immortals!”
It dawned on me that Master protected me. From then on, I resumed practicing Falun Dafa.
One day, I dreamed the sky was full of shimmering stars. I spread my arms and suddenly I was flying. I said, “Master, here I come!”
Seeking Fame Almost Cost Me My Life
I was sewing the button on my father-in-law’s thermal top. My father-in-law said he had just sweat all over and he didn’t dare to take it off for fear of catching a cold, so he asked me to sew the button while he was wearing it. My third brother-in-law was present when I was sewing. When I was cutting the thread with my teeth, it just so happened that my eldest sister-in-law came back from the outside.
That afternoon, in front of all the other practitioners, she asked me what I was doing to my father-in-law’s chest. I was furious and said, “Don’t you know our father-in-law has emphysema, pulmonary heart disease, and bronchial asthma?” She refused to listen to my explanations and just kept accusing me.
Now I realize it was an imposed tribulation by the old forces, which led to my sister-in-law’s irrational abuse of me and getting me to drop my xinxing.
I did not measure myself against the Fa to improve my xinxing, instead, I treated myself as an everyday person and was digging into a bull’s horn, unable to extricate myself. I was so upset that I cried every day. I felt that my reputation had been tarnished.
One night after that, as soon as I lay down, I saw three golden characters appearing in the sky: Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Suddenly the word “Compassion” turned into the word “Paralysis.”
Then, three figures appeared. On the left was a figure dressed in ancient clothes in black, holding a wolf’s tooth stick in his hand. In the center was a figure dressed in yellow, holding a golden rod of a coiling dragon. The figure on the right was wearing a yellow Kasaya and constantly shedding tears (I realized it was Master).
After a brief discussion with the figure in the middle, the figure in black said he would strike me first. As soon as he raised his weapon, I immediately lost my breath and got up on my knees, and my whole body ached as if it were punctured with thorns all over.
My mother was startled. The next day she asked my husband to get a witch doctor to look at me, but it didn’t get any better. She sent me to a psychiatric hospital for IV injections, but I was still not well.
I was completely caught in the trap of the old forces, and I could not extricate myself. I thought to myself, “What have I done to end up like this? I brought disgrace to Master.”
I even thought of committing suicide. That night, I dreamed I took a rope to the Town God’s Temple to hang myself. Once inside, I saw the Town God sitting facing the front door, and beside him were figures wearing yellow clothes, and their heads were covered with yellow fabric.
The Town God asked me, “What are you doing here instead of practicing cultivation?” I said, “I came to hang myself. Where are the rafters?”
The Town God said, “Do you know why their heads are covered with cloth? It’s because they’re afraid of scaring you. If you are frightened, your Master will destroy us all.” He told me to leave.
I refused. A loud voice sounded in the sky, “Throw her out!” I suddenly woke up. Afterwards, my legs felt increasingly heavy and I gradually lost the ability to walk.
One morning, I was so disoriented that I slept the entire morning. My husband’s friend came to see me, but no one could wake me up even though they sat me up several times.
I had a long dream that morning. In my dream, I was a goddess in a certain realm. I snuck out and descended to the human world, but was caught and taken back. They kept beating me, but I didn’t feel any pain, it rather felt like an electric shock that went up and down my body, only my heart felt uncomfortable.
I did not think I did anything wrong. After a while, someone walked in and dropped to one knee and said, “My lord, she is still a goddess. She has started practicing Falun Gong and become even better than before.” The beating suddenly stopped.
In the same dream, a little while later I was in a hospital for surgery and was surrounded by doctors wearing white coats. I kept struggling, saying I wasn’t sick and wanted to get up. They wouldn’t let me. A voice said to me, “Don’t be afraid. Master is here watching over you.” I woke up at once.
As time went by, I wasn’t able to move at all. Only my brain was awake, and I could move my hands. I could write down what I wanted to eat. By the Chinese New Year’s Eve, my tongue could not move, and I became unable to eat or drink.
My husband and others sent me to the psychiatric hospital again. The doctor said I was having an allergic reaction to the drug I took a shot of last time when I was discharged, which occurs to one out of 20,000 people.
After the nurse gave me a shot of the antidote, I could move. I got out of bed and was able to walk. I was able to eat, and was discharged the next day. (I read that fellow practitioners who were persecuted in psychiatric hospitals went home drooling, lost flexibility in their limbs, and finally died. The symptoms were exactly the same as mine.)
I came home, but I was sluggish all day, and couldn’t eat or sleep well. The other practitioners encouraged me, “Come back to the practice.” I asked, “Will Master still take care of me?” The fellow practitioners said, “Don’t measure Master with your human thoughts.” So I resumed cultivation.
I studied the Fa with the other practitioners. One day, I dreamed that I went to an old castle. No one was there, but it was full of paper people and paper carriages floating in the air. I thought, “I can’t be here; I need to practice Falun Gong!” As soon as I had that thought, I flew out of the castle at once.
I came to a house outside the castle. All those who had written a guarantee statements against their will stating that they would give up practicing Falun Gong, but who have resumed practicing were required to sign a pledge.
As soon as I entered the house, the person in charge said to me, “Are you practicing again?” I said, “Yes, I’m practicing again. I failed because I couldn’t let go of my fame, fortune, and sentiments. This time I’m letting all that go.”
Troubles Brought by Giving Back Rubs to a Practitioner
More than ten years ago, a classmate of mine had breast cancer. Through my introduction, she began to practice Falun Gong, and her health quickly improved. When Falun Gong began being persecuted, she was on the front line to validate Dafa, but the CCP incarcerated her several times and tortured her. She stood firm and made it through.
However, in the face of family conflicts, she did not measure things with the Fa and failed the tribulations under social pressure and the interference of family sentiments. She fell ill.
I did not know how to cultivate at the time, and treated her with human thoughts. Superficially, I read the Fa to her, but I wept at her pain, and gave her back rubs. I had a lot of human attachments which were taken advantage of by the old forces.
One night, as soon as I lay down, I heard a voice (of the old forces). Immediately, I felt the bone underneath my belly was closed off like a sliding door. Afterwards, I was not able to relieve myself.
At first, my heart was unsteady, so I told the other practitioners about it. They told me it was a false appearance. I recalled Master’s Fa about sickness karma, so I let go of life and death, and drank three full cups of water and ate three bowls of rice congee every day.
I practiced and studied the Fa with fellow practitioners every day, but I still could not relieve myself. In the early morning hours of the eighth day, I heard a voice loud and clear, “Clean out the possessing spirits that are offered in your central room, and tell your fellow practitioners to wrap Dafa books only with clean paper.”
The voice named a practitioner, saying that the slop bucket in her central room stank. The voice said Master treasures practitioners’ hearts of reverence for Master, so Master didn’t blame them.
The practitioner who had been named displayed Master’s portrait in the central room, but her slop bucket and garbage can were also there, and she threw garbage including onion peels into the slop bucket, which stank terribly. We often reminded her of this, but she didn’t listen. We all have in fact neglected to honor Master and Dafa.
That morning, I removed several incense burners as well as a Bodhisattva portrait, and burned the book covers (some of them had advertisements on them, and some had the evil CCP’s songs printed on them) on Dafa books. I bought big pancakes and fruits to offer to Master.
At about 4:00 p.m., I felt a strong urge and went to the toilet. I was able to relieve myself, finally. Since then, I have been in good health.
After I resumed cultivation in 2004, many attachments were exposed and removed. For example, I had thoughts of disliking my husband and complaining about my fellow practitioners on several occasions. My loopholes were taken advantage of, and my body was in an incorrect state again.
At one point, I coughed for four days and four nights and couldn’t fall asleep, and the bones in my chest were in excruciating pain with every cough. I didn’t consider it an illness and didn’t acknowledge the evil arrangements of the old forces. I looked inward and found the attachment and eliminated it.
In my dream, I saw Master taking away two leather bags on the table - there were many leather bags on the big table, and I enlightened that they were the deeds, good or bad, done by me in different lives at different levels. The next day when I was doing Exercise 2, I suddenly emitted a long burp and felt better.
Master also opened up my long-sealed memories and I understood the enmity and grudges of my lifetime after lifetime while descending down the levels. I must live up to Master’s grace, save more people, and follow Master home.
Raising Awareness and Saving People
To raise awareness about Dafa and the persecution, I prefer to go to places where people gather. For example, while planting and/or replanting tobacco seedlings. I was not in a hurry to talk about quitting the CCP and its affiliated organizations. I first talked about how Master taught us how to be a good person, and then I gave examples of Dafa’s miraculous effect on our health.
Sometimes I also told stories about traditional culture to break through their atheist notions. Sometimes I recited Master’s articles to them, such as “When the Fa is Right” and “Wealth With Virtue.”
When I was making stuffed buns with people around a big table in the cafeteria, I recited Master’s articles to them, and sometimes told them stories of traditional Chinese culture.
One day, six or seven people came to a practitioner’s business. We told them about quitting the CCP and its affiliated organizations to be safe, the staged “Tiananmen Self-immolation,” and the Hidden Character Stone. Several of them agreed to quit, but one said, “I won’t quit. I believe in money.”
I recited Master’s article “Wealth with Virtue,” and he said, “That was so good. Please write it down for me, I will put it on my wall and read it every day.” We hand-copied it for him and said, “Let’s give you an alias and quit.” He said, “Okay.”
A practitioner and I were out raising awareness of Dafa and the persecution. We saw a man cooling off under a tree. We told him many things, and he listened quietly. He didn’t say anything, but kept drawing eyes on the ground with a twig.
I said, “You see, the sky is full of eyes, all watching everyone’s every move and their thoughts. Remember to sincerely recite ‘Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, Falun Dafa is good,’ and quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations, so that if you run into disasters or calamities, they will be turned into minor ones or even good ones.” He finally spoke, “Okay, I’ll quit with the name ‘Zhou Youren.’”
(Selected submission in celebration of World Falun Dafa Day on Minghui.org)
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