(Minghui.org) It’s May 13th again. I’m now in my 60s. When I reflect on my cultivation journey I’ve eliminated my attachment to ego.
Before I began practicing I had a strong desire for fame and I did anything to please others in order to survive. To be a good child, I hid all my grievances. I studied hard to get ahead. Continuous efforts indeed brought me some success. But fame has its drawbacks. I became other people’s target when I gained a good reputation. When my work was plagiarized or even stolen, I was forced to fight with others, but I always lost in the end.
The strange thing was that the perpetrator was never blamed—instead I, the victim, was always blamed. No matter how bad the situation was, no one helped me. I started all over after every failure, only to lose out again. The cycle always repeated.
Why did this keep happening? Why did I have so many enemies? Why did everyone bully me? Why was I always alone?
I couldn’t figure it out, nor could I get out of the predicament. I thought I might as well just study the Fa!
While studying, I thought of a past incident. My character that was reflected in this incident largely determined my success and failure in this life.
It was a physics test in high school. I turned my body to one side so that my deskmate wouldn’t be able to see my answers. I scored 87 that time. Many people in the class failed, including my deskmate.
Although I was good at studying and was diligent, the teacher said that students like me would do well in school but not in society. I didn’t understand why she said that, but it turned out to be true.
After I began to work, because my attachment to fame, I had a strong sense of personal heroism and I was very independent. I could accomplish things by myself that took a large group of people to do. How could I not be isolated because of my “standing out from the crowd” ? How could people not be envious or jealous of me? The result was always a loss to me.
Master teaches us that, “...practitioners must think about others,...” (Teachings at the Conference in Canada). But I only cared about my own success, without caring about other peoples’ feelings. If I hadn’t practiced Falun Dafa, I might never have realized the defect in my xinxing and my conduct.
If I didn’t practice Dafa, I would have spent my whole life in endless complaint and resentment. When I died I would have suffered a great deal and hated everyone. Fortunately, I began practicing Falun Dafa. The resentment in my heart was removed, and I no longer complain about the so-called unfairness.
The changes in my heart are reflected in my appearance, and I look nicer.
Especially this year, through repeated Fa study, I identified my inner demon of seeking fame. I felt a lot more relaxed all of a sudden, and I became more energetic, which was witnessed by all.
The call for essay partially overlapped with the CCP’s “Two Conferences.” The government monitored us tightly, and told people in the community to report us. But what do people who have witnessed the beauty of Dafa say? One old man said, “What is there to report? I won’t say anything even if I know something!”
I was filled with emotion when I heard this - Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good, and I am a beneficiary.
Before I eliminate all my attachments, I will definitely show some unsatisfactory aspects. Please bear with me. My level is limited, so please correct me if anything I’ve said is not in line with the Fa.
(Selected submission in celebration of World Falun Dafa Day on Minghui.org)
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