I Learned How to Look Inward While Overcoming a Tribulation

(Minghui.org) I have been in Japan for more than 20 years, living and cultivating comfortably. My family life and work have gone smoothly for the most part, without any major hiccups, and I have been living comfortably and peacefully.

Cultivation practice, however, can never always be smooth sailing. Our cultivation paths are arranged by Master and require us to eliminate our attachments and karma. I was forced to step down as an RTC platform coordinator after more than ten years in that role, and my tribulation started at that point. I told myself that the doubts, misunderstandings, and injustices I was facing were good for my cultivation practice, and I reminded myself to overcome the tribulation well, maintain an upright character, and adhere to the principles of the Fa. I tried my best to remain silent and not argue.

In hindsight, my biggest mistake was not remaining on the RTC platform to make calls and clarify the truth. My region had very few practitioners, so after I stepped away from being an RTC coordinator I lost my primary cultivation environment. I drifted aimlessly like a kite without a string. Although I subsequently participated in some overseas projects, I failed to integrate well into them, and my contributions felt minuscule.

I thought about the fellow practitioners I had worked with for more than ten years, and who continued to diligently clarify the truth while I had been sidelined, and my resentment, grievances, and tendency to search outward surfaced. I started to blame the people who had forced me to this point, and even partially gave up on my cultivation. I started to dedicate more time and energy to running my commercial business.

Yet compassionate Master refused to let me fall so easily, and arranged for several practitioners to come to visit me regularly. The warmth I received from fellow practitioners helped boost my righteous thoughts and gave me the impetus to break through my incorrect state.

I spent some time with a fellow practitioner one day. Because she knew about the issues I had faced, we had a long conversation. She told me how she looked inward whenever she encountered a problem, and she shared some examples of how she looked deep within herself. Her words were very inspiring, and after a while I began receiving daily messages of encouragement from her. “Get rid of the instinct to search externally, and look within yourself. For every thought that emerges, look deep within yourself (dig deep!).” With her encouragement, I began to change my habit of looking outward when I encountered a problem, and I started looking within no matter if I was right or wrong. After doing this for a while, I discovered that my previous approach to “looking inward” had been too superficial.

Truly looking inward is not a superficial process, and requires deep consideration that one can only achieve in a state of absolute calm. In the process of learning how to look inward deeply, I discovered that every person unconsciously possesses some self-protection mechanisms, and after being hurt will avoid thinking about the things that caused the heartache and sadness. By pushing the fault to others, I was considering myself not at fault, and easily overlooked searching within about the incidents that had caused me the most pain. Of course, I found many attachments from other minor incidences, but there was little pain attached to them. One day, I was on the phone with the practitioner, and when I mentioned that I had discovered a lot of attachments but found it hard to get rid of them, she said, “That’s because you haven’t dug deep enough and haven’t realized how dirty the attachment is. You have to dig deeper. If you found feces on your body, you wouldn’t want to leave it there for even a second, right?”

I looked inward and told myself to stop avoiding looking inward about this incident. I asked myself, “Why did it hurt? Why was I sad?” I replayed the whole incident like a video in my mind, then examined my thoughts and feelings. The greater my reluctance to think about it, the sadder the experience. Like cleansing an infected wound, the sadness was my indicator to dig deeper. Despite the pain, I reminded myself to keep going, to keep looking inward, and to analyze myself. Since my human heart had been moved, a human attachment needed to be removed.

I dug deep within myself over the next two days, and this caused my mood to degrade. The practitioner reminded me, “The sadness does not originate from your true self, but from your karma and human heart, which are soon to be eliminated. You should continue to examine yourself deeply. Master mentioned before:

“Visible suffering that’s on the surface doesn’t count for much. What’s really excruciating is the suffering that happens when you’re severing and breaking attachments—that is when it hurts most.” (Teachings at the Conference in Switzerland)

This painful process was necessary to completely eliminate the human attachments. Getting rid of attachments and human notions requires one to face the issues they least want to deal with, rather than take the easy route and bypass them, and find other excuses. It is human nature to instinctively avoid things that cause us pain, but cultivators should view things differently.

After understanding these principles, I continued to search inward, and discovered a deeply hidden attachment. I had always assumed I was not particularly attached to seeking fame, and just wanted to do my assigned tasks well. However, I secretly harbored an attachment to being right and to receiving recognition from others. This attachment to fame was hidden so deeply that I had failed to realize its existence. This was not a major attachment, yet I felt shock travel through my soul upon realizing it. The cells in my body cheered with joy! After discovering the root cause of the tribulation, I felt calm. I was able to let go of my dissatisfaction, and the negative substances connected with this incident disintegrated in an instant!

Around that time, a fellow practitioner I was acquainted with passed away from illness karma. Before her passing, she had sent me a message that greatly shook me. “I truly believe you should return to the RTC platform. If I was in your place, I would definitely go back. What is most important, saving sentient beings or the things you can’t let go of? Of course, you may say other projects can also save sentient beings, but in my opinion, your destiny and expertise lie in RTC. I envy you. You have the opportunity to save more sentient beings, yet you don’t cherish it enough. Living in this world, one only encounters trivial things. Yet humans find it hard to give up these trivial attachments. I really regret it. Master gave me chances time and again, but I failed to realize my problems and treasure the opportunity to cultivate! I am ashamed to face Master! I say these things from the bottom of my heart. Please forgive me if I have offended you, but I truly envy you so much!” After reading her message, I felt ashamed and decided to listen to her advice. I rejoined the RTC platform and started making calls to save sentient beings.

While making calls on the RTC platform, I heard details concerning some imperfections in the existing platform and the reasons behind them. This news initially triggered my anxiety, but after some thought, I believe it was a test to see if my heart would be moved. I stopped worrying and just focused on my assignments. One day, while listening to the “Story of Milarepa,” I was shocked to hear a passage describing the cultivation principle of “altruism.” Wasn’t Master enlightening me? I cannot ignore problems when I see them, because this will affect the quality and efficacy of the platform in saving sentient beings! I decided to submit my suggestions in good faith.

It was also around this time that Shen Yun came to Japan to perform. I helped out backstage and was blessed. While watching the first half of the Shen Yun performance that day, I felt waves of energy rolling over me, and I kept crying non-stop. In the second half, my throat started to feel uncomfortable. My knowing side must have seen Master cleansing my body and providing me with many good things in another dimension. After the performance, I continued to cry as I made the two-hour journey home by car.

After returning home, my bones began to ache, and I came down with a fever. By the second and third days, my throat was so hoarse I could not speak. Yet by the fourth day, I had fully recovered. Just as I was about to send forth righteous thoughts that evening, I received a message from the overall coordinator asking me to return to coordinating the RTC platform. I knew this was surely arranged by Master.

I had two rounds of fruitful discussions with fellow RTC platform coordinators. I brought the problems I saw to their attention and proposed solutions. Having returned to the RTC platform as a coordinator, I intend to quietly do my part to contribute, and do my best to save more people.

Looking back, I had first looked outward and used the principles of the Fa to judge others. As a result, I had failed to understand the true problem, and found my predicament unbelievable, thinking, “How could something like this happen?!” After learning how to look within, the bad matter in other dimensions was swiftly disintegrated, my karma was eliminated, and my character improved. Without this heart-wrenching, critical tribulation, I would have continued to live in that comfortable environment without ridding myself of these deeply hidden attachments.

Master said:

“Looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2009 Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume IX)

Whether mental or physical issues arise, practitioners should try to let go of their human notions, dig deep within themselves to find the root cause, get rid of any attachments, and try to elevate to higher levels.