Cultivation Experience of a Dance Student

(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

I am a senior student in the dance department at Northern Academy of the Arts. I would like to tell you about my recent experiences in finding and overcoming one of my biggest attachments.

I’ve studied classical Chinese dance since I came to the Northern Academy in 2018. I wanted nothing more than to test into the Fei Tian Art Academy and join Shen Yun Performing Arts. I would think the same thing every day, “When will I grow taller? When will it be my turn?” I measured my height every day and tried to improve my dancing as much as I could, hoping that one day I would get my wish.

I grew more anxious as the years went by. I had barely grown any taller from when I first started dancing, and my legs were still too short. Whenever I saw close friends get accepted to the Fei Tian Art Academy, a feeling of jealousy pulsed through me, followed by growing impatience to get in myself. Getting into Shen Yun soon became my sole motivation for even dancing and a pursuit in my cultivation.

I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone, since I was afraid of losing face in front of my peers and teachers. The worst part about it was I knew it was a major attachment, but I just could not let it go. I felt pressure whenever I saw my chances of being a dancer were low, and many times I could not maintain my xinxing, resulting in anger and bad thoughts.

During the spring of 2022, I faced one of my biggest tests, which also led me to a new understanding in my cultivation. I was rehearsing a dance piece for an upcoming performance, and my teacher spent almost the entire session criticizing my movements and expression. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t do a simple move. No matter how hard I tried to fix it, the teacher was still not satisfied. I started to become jealous of my classmates, whom the teacher praised. I felt embarrassed that I was behind them. After the rehearsal, I sat alone for a while, trying to figure out my problem. As pain rushed through my head, I jumped back and forth between whether it was an attachment, an issue of communication between my teacher and me, or if I was just not cut out to dance. I called my mom later that night to talk about it, and she told me to just try to let go of everything on my mind and I would eventually find my answer.

I finally found my problem. I felt my potential to be a dancer was threatened, so I got upset when I was criticized. I couldn’t find my problem because my mind was not clear, so I couldn’t see the truth. In the end, I screamed inside, “Stop! Just calm down!” As practitioners, our main focus should be cultivating well amidst hardships and eliminating our human notions and attachments. But I, on the other hand, worry so much about everything that even little details bother me. How can I cultivate if I’m constantly worried about unnecessary things and I’m attached to them?

Master said,

“But these people have allowed themselves to grow lax, and when even just a little interference comes, they forget that they are Dafa disciples. What are you cultivating for? For your reputation? Out of resentment? For the attachments you harbor? For your loved ones? For the things you’re attached to? For the things you can’t let go of? Aren’t all of these exactly the things that you should be getting rid of?” (“Fa Teaching at the 2015 West Coast Fa Conference” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XIII)

Over the next few days I kept telling myself to calm down and recited one of Master’s poems:

“In life, nothing sought,In death, regretting naught;Washing away all wrong thought,Buddhahood, with less adversity, is wrought.” (“Nothing Kept” Hong Yin)

After this realization, my dancing improved greatly, as I was able to let go of all the pressure inside me and dance with my heart. For those few days, I felt a sense of peace and relaxation. It was as if I took everything negative in my mind, pushed it all aside, and replaced it with compassion. Everything, from school to cultivation, suddenly became easier to handle. It was also easier to pull myself out of any situation. Before I had trouble focusing during Fa study, doing the exercises, and sending righteous thoughts. But now I feel I can really take in what I read from the Fa and achieve the correct mindset when I do the exercises.

I continued this way for the next few months. It helped me a lot in my dancing, my studies, and most certainly in my cultivation. I felt that my biggest attachments, like fame, emotion, and wanting things to go my way, were starting to bother me less. When I just let things happen the way they were meant to, my mind was cleaner, and life became easier. I gradually stopped worrying about my future at the academy, and just told myself I would wait and see what happened.

A few months later, however, I was knocked down by a massive tribulation. After my application for Shen Yun was rejected again, I was told it was time to move on to the next step. I understood it meant that I couldn’t try again. I was disappointed and couldn’t control my emotions. I didn’t know what to do. For weeks, I couldn’t calm down. I couldn’t accept having to give up my childhood dream in just one month. I started to question whether it was worth it to continue dancing for another year. At one point, I even considered switching tracks for my last year at Northern. The situation only doubled the mental pressure I was facing. Whenever my mom lectured me about my mistakes, I couldn’t do anything but regret. I developed the notion that I couldn’t join Shen Yun and that I would have to return to my hometown after graduating, having done nothing to save sentient beings.

When I returned to school I was still mentally torn. I didn’t know who to talk to about my situation, so I said nothing for a few days. But even though I was stuck in the mud and couldn’t get out, Master still looked after me and gave me encouraging signs to help me get myself back up. Different teachers came to me to share their understanding of my situation. I realized that I had not completely eliminated my attachment to getting into Shen Yun. I would get upset whenever the topic was brought up, meaning that I was still obsessed with making it in. I had developed the notion that Shen Yun was the only place where I could cultivate well and fulfill my mission as a Dafa disciple. If I didn’t get in, then there would be no other place where my skills as a dancer would matter. I didn’t consider that there would always be other ways to utilize my passion for dance, that maybe this was simply not the path Master arranged for me. In fact, Master arranges the best path for all of us, and what matters most is that we eliminate our karma/attachments while following Falun Dafa’s principles: Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Wishing to go on to Shen Yun is not bad, but becoming so attached to it is also a form of interference.

As I studied the Fa and sent righteous thoughts more diligently, I began to feel better and let go of this whole situation. I’ve since been able to dance without feeling pressure and live my life peacefully and free of worry. I understand now that where we will go in life is arranged by Master, and we shouldn’t be attached at all to what it may be. Our mission is to save sentient beings in the Fa-rectification while cultivating ourselves well. Anything we can’t let go of is an attachment we need to relinquish.

This experience, though it was mentally painful, helped me understand how to calm down, eliminate attachments, and be a righteous cultivator. When faced with a situation, if our hearts remain calm and unmoved, and if we handle it according to the Fa, any problem can be solved. As we continue on the road ahead, we need to remember to get up immediately when we fall down, continue forward, and don’t ever look back. Only then can we focus on what’s important in front of us.

My understanding is limited. If anything I’ve said is not in line with the Fa, please kindly point it out.

Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!

(From 2023 Northern Academy Experience Sharing Conference)