My Transformation from Being Narrow-minded to Being Considerate

(Minghui.org) I live in the countryside and began practicing Falun Dafa in February 1997. I’m now 66 years old, and this practice has transformed me from someone who was narrow-minded and selfish to someone who is considerate of others.

I got married in 1980, and when my child was only three months old, my mother-in-law was in a rush to separate from us. She gave us three rooms and left us with financial hardships. My mother-in-law was not old and was able to work. She received compensation from the government, as her ex-husband died on the battlefield. Her life was much easier than ours, but she still expected us to help her.

When my brother-in-law got married, my mother-in-law helped him build four rooms. She also gave the three rooms where she and my father-in-law lived to him. She brought up my brother-in-law’s child but ignored my child. She even badmouthed me in front of my husband, intentionally causing trouble in our relationship. Without checking whether what she said was true or not, he fought with me and never gave me a chance to defend myself. I began to resent my mother-in-law.

Reaching the Breaking Point

Since I had conflicts with their mother, my sisters-in-law began to pick on me. One of them once scratched my face so hard it bled. This time, my husband thought she went too far and asked my mother-in-law why his sister would do that. My mother-in-law replied that she didn’t see her scratch me.

I was very upset, and from then on, I stopped giving my mother-in-law any support. She went to talk to the village officials, but they couldn’t resolve our falling out, so she decided to sue me. I was asked why I stopped supporting her, and I said, “When her daughter hit me, she didn’t do anything. If you can help me resolve this, then I’ll continue to support her.” The officials said they didn’t handle such matters and said that if I didn’t support her, they’d either take my food or have me arrested. They then made out a list, which included cash, wheat, rice, beans, and peanut oil.

I told my husband, “Please take these items to your mother’s home yourself, as I never want to see her.” After this, I stopped visiting her for many years.

Before I began to practice Falun Dafa, I never looked at my shortcomings. Even if I realized I’d made a mistake, I didn’t acknowledge it. I always thought highly of myself and blamed others. I easily got upset. I had trouble eating and sleeping and developed all kinds of health problems: a duodenal ulcer, softening of the bones, a kidney infection, anemia, and gynecological issues. Even though I took many medications, nothing helped. The pain made me feel that life was meaningless.

After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I understood what it meant to be a good person. I learned why a person has illnesses, tribulations, and conflicts—they all come down to one’s predestined relationships. Through studying the Fa and doing the exercises, my character elevated, and my notions were eliminated. The more I practiced, the better I felt. Within three months, all my health issues disappeared. I truly felt light and illness-free. For more than 20 years, I haven’t taken any medication. This was truly incredible for someone like me!

I thought to myself, “I practice Dafa, and Master Li taught us to treat everyone kindly. So I can’t not talk to my mother-in-law.” I decided to take the initiative to make up with her. I went with my husband to deliver money and food to her. When she saw me, she was pleasantly surprised. From then on, I often went to visit her and brought her food. When I ran into conflicts, I looked inward and rectified myself when I was at fault. My relationships with my sisters-in-law also returned to normal.

Letting Go of My Self-Interest

I once went to run some errands at the home of the Party secretary in our village. He was having lunch with a few guests. One of them asked about my mother-in-law’s age and her physical condition. I said, “She is close to 90 years old. She eats well and also has good vision and hearing. Overall, she’s doing well.” I told the secretary, “Before, we always fought, which brought you much trouble. But after I began to practice Falun Dafa, my ailments went away. I began to treat my mother-in-law nicely, and we no longer have conflicts. Now your life is easier since we stopped causing trouble!”

He replied, “If you treat your mother-in-law nicely, it’s because you want her money.” I said, “Falun Dafa teaches people to be good. One changes from within and requires oneself to be good. No amount of money can do that. My mother-in-law actually never gave me a penny. I have no idea how much money she has in the bank. The principles of Falun Dafa are Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. We are required to be considerate of others in whatever we do and pay attention to our moral standards.” Everyone heard me.

When my mother-in-law’s house flooded in 2006, I asked my husband to let her move in with us. Since we built a new house, our old house was vacant. My mother-in-law said, “Your son is about to get married. Where are you going to stay?” I replied, “We’ll talk about it then. Please feel free to stay here, you don’t have to worry about that.” My son got married that fall, and my mother-in-law still stayed with us. I cooked for her and did her laundry. She led a very happy life.

Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, my mother-in-law gave my brother-in-law seven rooms, but only gave me three. I was so upset that I wanted to fight with him over the property. But because I’m a practitioner, I invited my mother-in-law into my home. My neighbors all praised me and remarked on how well I treated her. If I didn’t practice Falun Dafa, I would not have done that! Through this incident, people witnessed the beauty of Dafa.

When my brother-in-law wanted to buy a car in 2013, my mother-in-law gave him her bank deposit book. I didn’t take it to heart, however, and thought, “It’s her money. She can give it to whomever she wants.” I wouldn’t have been so calm and understanding before I practiced Falun Dafa.

A Big Opportunity to Improve My Character

My mother-in-law was getting older, and her children took turns having her stay with them. She developed dementia and soiled her clothes and quilts. When I saw this, I was a little disgusted. But then I thought, “I’m a practitioner. Isn’t this a test for me to improve my xinxing? I should treat her well and take good care of her.” When she became bedridden, I fed her every meal. When she was about to die, my husband and I took turns looking after her.

My mother-in-law passed away in our home in November 2018. My husband asked his brother to cover the funeral and burial costs with the money in the deposit book my mother-in-law had given him. He replied, “My son went gambling. He lost and incurred a big debt of over one million yuan. If I hadn’t paid it, the creditor would have killed him.”

I didn’t expect that he would use the excuse of covering his son’s debt to spend all my mother-in-law’s savings. There was no way for us to confirm whether what he said was true or not. On the surface, I appeared to be calm. Yet, deep down, my competitive mentality and jealousy flared up.

Master said,

“There might be instances where something seems to be yours, and people might say so too, and you believe it is yours, when in fact it’s not and in the end it goes to someone else. From this it will be seen whether you can let it go. If you cannot, it means that you have an attachment. We use this approach to rid you of your worldly wants, for that is what’s most important.” (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun)

Every time I read this part of the Fa, I felt it targeted me. I understood this tribulation happened to help me eliminate my attachment to self-interest.

I thought about how fortunate I was to cultivate in Dafa! What Master gave me is priceless. If I couldn’t even pass this test, my xinxing would have been inadequate.

By studying the Fa intensively and sharing with fellow practitioners, I gradually calmed down. When I let go of my attachment to self-interest, my xinxing improved.

Two years later, my brother-in-law distributed some of my mother-in-law’s savings to his siblings and kept about 45,000 yuanfor himself. I didn’t argue with him.

Thank you, Master, for compassionately saving me! When I compare my behavior with the Fa’s requirements, I haven’t done well. Going forward, I’ll continue to study the Fa, cultivate myself, and eliminate my attachments. On my path of validating the Fa, I will strive forward vigorously to save more sentient beings.