Looking Within to Find an Attachment That I Had Neglected

(Minghui.org) When the virus spread at the beginning of 2020, many areas, including mine, were under lockdown. My husband stayed home and watched television all day long. I glanced at it from time to time and got hooked without realizing it.

I watched soap operas two nights in a row, and after dinner on the third night, my left arm was in severe pain, and my left hand was numb. I felt like a knife was slashing my arm. I broke out in tears.

Despite the pain, I was not afraid or had negative thoughts. I knew I had made a mistake, so I recited Master’s (the founder of Falun Dafa) Fa.

Master said, “With Master and the Way by my side, what is there to fear?” (Lecture Given at the Conference in Sydney)

I asked Master for help. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) negative influence, the bad substances, and the degenerated thoughts in my dimensional field. I said, “Even if I’ve made mistakes, I would not allow the old forces to affect me. I will rectify myself in the Fa. I belong to Master and Dafa.”

The pain made it difficult to send forth righteous thoughts, and all kinds of messages from other dimensions kept pouring into my mind. I knew the old forces wanted to ruin me. The pain was unbearable, but I could still forebear it.

I searched within, “Television programs can contain things that could pollute us, and we should avoid watching it. I should tell Master that I’m wrong, and promise that I will avoid television in the future.” I remembered Master’s lectures about completely negating the old forces’ arrangements.

Although I didn’t sleep all night, I still did the exercises in the morning. I spent more time studying the Fa, sending forth righteous thoughts, and didn’t leave the house.

I did the usual the first few days―looking within in a general manner. Thus, eventhough the pain subsided, my hand was still dangling.

I then read Master’s teachings, “Any time you experience disruptions of any sort, you should proactively think about what caused them and what you still need to let go.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

What kind of desires have I not let go of? Why did I watch soap operas knowing that I should not? I wanted to relax and enjoy myself! I loved to play when I was a child, and I wished to earn enough money to travel as an adult.

Traveling was not a popular activity for the mainland Chinese in the 80s, yet I was already traveling. When I began to practice Falun Dafa, I often went to places to spread the preciousness of Dafa during my days off, and I gave up company-paid trips to do so. I thought talking to people about Dafa was more important, and I could always travel later when I had the time.

I was envious and jealous of other practitioners when they went on company-paid travels and visited scenic locations during the summers and winters. But vacation seasons were also the busiest time to share with people the goodness of Falun Dafa. Although I didn’t evade my responsibility as a practitioner, I still wanted to travel and have some fun.

My desires lead to jealousy and complaints. I had a negative thought, “Why are other practitioners okay when they watch TV?” I then realized it was a dangerous thought. I said to Master, “This thought is not part of me, I’m rejecting it!”

After practicing Dafa for more than 20 years, I had never thought of getting rid of such desires. Practitioners only saw what was manifested on the surface, and they thought I was diligent in my cultivation. But, that kind of diligence was due to the circumstances and the environment around us, thus I was forced to eliminate certain attachments.

I never let go of the wish to enjoy life, which in turn gave rise to all kinds of serious attachments. It never occurred to me that the difficulties that I encountered were there to help me cultivate. I had no reason to be jealous or complain about anyone. I should thank Master for his arrangements! And I should thank practitioners too!

The pain was gone once I found my attachment. The negative messages gradually disappeared, and it was much easier to eliminate them when they did occasionally show up.

I offered incense to Master’s photo the morning of the seventh day. I used my right hand to lift my left hand when offering incense. But when I kowtowed to Master, I was able to put both palms together without any effort. Tears of gratitude and joy covered my cheeks. It was beyond words.

I got teary-eyed writing this article. I practiced the Falun Dafa exercises in front of Master’s photo to thank him for his compassion