New Practitioner: Experiencing Calmness and Stability After Passing a Test the First Time

(Minghui.org) Shortly after passing a xinxing test one night, I experienced a level of miraculous calmness and stability I have never experienced before.

I am a new practitioner. As I write this, I have practiced Falun Dafa for just over three months. I would like to share my cultivation experience of breaking attachments.

Breaking Away From Lust

I didn’t maintain my xinxing regarding lust a few days ago, and regretted it very much afterwards. I slapped myself in the face in order to become alert.

I kept asking myself, “What should I do to improve my cultivation? Time waits for no one.” I told myself that I should no longer slack off.

I discovered that lust is often the root of many attachments. For example, my desire for comfort and enjoyment, not wanting to endure hardships, not wanting to sacrifice, and my love for reading and watching ordinary people’s videos and articles, etc., all had lust at the root.

All of those bad behaviors breed and strengthen my bad desires. Every morning, I am determined to compare my conduct from the previous day to the Fa.

After failing the lust test, I began practicing the exercises upon getting up the next morning. When doing the fifth exercise, I could clearly feel an energy cluster moving under my palms.

When I tried to press it down a bit, I could feel some resistance. Then when I sent forth righteous thoughts at 12:00 p.m., I could feel the same sensation from the vertical palm of my right hand.

The energy cluster kept moving all the same, and I could feel some resistance while trying to push it to the left. I thought that Master was encouraging me, and making me feel it. In fact, it had often appeared in my dreams, but it was now appearing right in front of me.

One night before bed, lust suddenly struck me heavily after sending righteous thoughts. I hurriedly recalled what I did wrong during the day, and found that I had slept for about two hours during my lunch break, which reflected my desire for comfort and enjoyment, not wanting to suffer, etc.

I recited the Fa aloud, and felt that this was better than reciting it silently in my mind. I felt my body vibrating, and I seemed to calm down a bit.

After a while, the lust came again, but more violently than before, and I felt very bad. At this time, I remembered Master’s Fa:

“To consummate yourself, reaping Buddhahood,Let joy be found in hardship.Physical pains count little as suffering,Indeed, cultivating mind is hardest.Each and every barrier must be broken through,And everywhere does evil lurk.Abundant troubles rain down together,All to see: Can you pull through?The world’s miseries endured,One departs the earth a Buddha.”(“Tempering the Will,” Hong Yin)

I felt a shock all over my body, and recovered after a short while.

I continued to look inward, and saw many filthy things. My main soul was too deluded to recognize how filthy they were.

Seen from a high level, those things must be very bad because they just wanted to satisfy various desires. I decided that they were not from my innate nature, but notions and attachments that were acquired while I was growing up.

I committed myself to getting rid of them as soon as I could. I was determined to reject them, and told myself that the strong urges and desires were not the true me.

I realized that I had to be strong-willed, no matter how intense they appeared, and I had to make my own decisions. When I thought of the Fa, I felt a shock all over my body, and then felt relieved.

Eliminating Things I was Reluctant to Let Go

In the process of rejecting my attachments, I still struggled to distinguish between what those attachments wanted and what I truly wanted. It suddenly occurred to me that I should look inward again, and find my undiscovered attachments. I realized that doing this was the only way to alleviate my misery.

I finally found my problem. I could see the dirty things and felt very bad about them, but deep in my mind I was “reluctant” to let them go. I came to realize that I was bewitched.

I asked myself what I was really reluctant to let go. It turned out that because I was good at technology, I could find things that others were unable to, such as using artificial intelligence for real-time translation, and other technologies.

I had been looking for many bad things with my technological skills, which also explained why lust and desire struck me so violently. I felt like I had found my attachment.

Recalling Master’s lectures, I realized that since the world has now reached the final point of the Destruction stage, everything has become degenerated. If a person continues to follow this degenerating trend, he will know many more of these bad things. However, they are like gifts from the devil, which are poison, and not real skills.

As a Dafa practitioner, I should give up all the bad things, try to have virtuous and wonderful things, and yearn for a bright, beautiful, solemn, and supreme realm.

While thinking of this, I felt I had been cleansed from head to toe, which was different from the shock feeling all over my body in the past. I suddenly truly calmed down, and my xinxing stabilized.

As of writing this article, lust has not popped up again. I remembered that when I looked at my watch, I noticed that the whole process lasted about one and a half hours.

I have been practicing all on my own, as I don’t have a chance to meet other practitioners. The way I used to managed myself was difficult, but now I can handle things well because I know that Master and the Fa are with me all the time, and everything will get better.

This experience has increased my confidence. I truly experienced what it is like to be calm and stable.

I hope I can continue to be diligent, and every day check my words and deeds to see if they align with the Fa.

I will study the Fa diligently, firmly believe in Dafa, and persist in doing the exercises. I will also send forth righteous thoughts, save sentient beings, clean my thinking before going to bed, and check if I have done what I’m supposed to do as a Falun Dafa practitioner.

Please kindly point out anything inappropriate in the article.