Young Practitioner: Eliminating My Jealousy and Lust

(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa with my father when I was very young. Master Li always watched over me, and although I didn’t quite understand what cultivation was at first, I knew that Dafa was good.

My uncle became seriously ill when I was in my last year of high school. My father and aunt read the Fa and Master’s new articles to him. One was the “2012 International Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital.” Since I had nothing to do as I waited in the hospital, I read it, but didn’t understand it. I told my father that I was unable to understand the lecture, and he replied it was because I hadn’t kept up with the progress of Fa-rectification.

Through studying the Fa, I realized that I was not truly practicing cultivation. I also understood that practitioners must do the three things well. I thought, “How do I tell people about the persecution?” I asked my father if he could take me to a scenic spot to clarify the truth to tourists. He said it might not be suitable because I was preparing for the college entrance exams. He thought it over and suggested I could collect signatures to support the lawsuits against the former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) head Jiang Zemin.

Telling People About the Persecution

Master arranged everything when he saw that I had the heart. I started to tell my classmates about the persecution. I initially didn’t know what to say and always had tears when I talked about how practitioners were brutally treated. Most students and teachers were very kind and signed the petition. I realized that how well practitioners cultivated themselves determined people’s attitude towards Dafa.

Some young practitioners also played truth clarification movies in their high schools, so most students understood the truth.

I ranked in the middle of the class in my studies. I studied hard, but I didn’t pursue results. Surprisingly, I came in second in my class in the college entrance exam. This result surprised even my teacher. What made me most happy was that all my classmates also got good grades and entered the universities they wanted. Many people said they were blessed because they understood the truth and supported Falun Dafa.

University Offers New Cultivation Opportunities

When I applied for universities, I discovered that many of them had Falun Dafa clubs. I asked Master to give me an environment to study the Fa and clarify the truth. I applied to four universities, and the three universities that had Falun Dafa clubs accepted me. I appreciated Master’s arrangement.

I didn’t expect that I would experience so many ordeals when I began attending the university. The new environment, high pressure, odd roommates, and cold weather made getting used to my new life challenging. I felt the difficulties of cultivation and the pain of facing tests.

I joined the school’s Falun Dafa club and met fellow practitioners there. However, some did not study the Fa or do the exercises very often, which was different from what I expected.

In my first year of college, I got up early every day and joined the group exercises because there was a practice site at school. I also read the Fa every day, so my academic performance was good, and my cultivation state was relatively stable.

However, in my second year, I started working part-time. I couldn’t balance cultivation, school, and work. Then came the biggest cultivation test I ever had.

I had just started to take charge of the Falun Dafa club at my university. A practitioner asked me to prepare for two truth-clarification events simultaneously. The person in charge of one event always called whenever she thought of something, regardless of whether I had time to answer the phone. She was always ready to change the plan and wanted us to go along with her ever-changing ideas.

I later learned that another activity was too political, and unsuitable to be held under the name of the Falun Dafa club. Another club formed by practitioners could have organized it. When I learned we could have done it better, I resented the practitioner who asked me to organize the event.

I then had a heated argument with the practitioner over the phone. She got angry and asked me twice, “Are you really a Falun Dafa practitioner?!”

The pitfalls of society, combined with the conflicts with my roommates over my studies, life, and work, were really like what Master said:

“...A hundred hardships falling all at once,See how one lives.Able to endure suffering in the world,Transcending the world, is a Buddha.”(“Tempering One’s Heart and Will,” Hong Yin)

I wept after the call. Looking at Master’s photo, I kept shedding tears. I was disappointed and asked myself if I had acted like a true Dafa practitioner. I felt very bad, and that I hadn’t done my job as club president well. Although these activities were successful, and many people learned the truth, I was physically and mentally exhausted. I thought, “I may not be suitable for this position. Perhaps another practitioner can take over?”

Shortly afterwards, a practitioner came to our school for his Master’s degree. He was once the Falun Dafa club president of another school. I thought, what a great arrangement! I couldn’t wait to give the position to him. At that time, I was only thinking about myself and did not think of others. I later looked inward and found my attachments to resentment, jealousy, indifference, and selfishness.

My negative attitude affected the new club president. He was dissatisfied with what I did and told me what he thought. I looked inward and sincerely explained to him what happened and thanked him for his understanding. I also realized that negative thoughts about fellow practitioners can form a gap over time. If we can communicate openly, the gap will disappear, and we can prevent resentment from forming.

I realized that I had an attachment to personal interest, so I quit my part-time job. At that time, it just so happened that our local Minghui School had a part-time position available. It didn’t take up too much time, and I would be paid. I appreciated Master’s meticulous arrangement.

I also started memorizing the Fa. I memorized a paragraph each day. It was so hard to recite some passages that I wept. But I didn’t give up, no matter how hard it was.

Thanks to the courage of that practitioner, the club has been running smoothly. More younger practitioners came to our school, so the club grew. We also held many events, including campus parades, exhibitions exposing the Chinese Communist Party’s atrocities of forced organ harvesting, and movie screenings. Many people learned about the persecution, and our club won the university’s top club award for years.

That’s when the conflicts between my roommate and I intensified. I had a lot of friction with this roommate since my first year. She often ate all the food I prepared for the next day without telling me. I once prepared breakfast for two days, and I thought if she ate one portion, I would have at least one more for the next day. But she ate all of it. She often came back very late at night and made a lot of noise. She also chatted with another roommate at midnight.

I laugh when I think about it now, but I was angry then. This roommate went on to win her department’s academic award and also found a boyfriend. My intense jealousy kicked in. I didn’t understand why so many good girls were single, but she had a boyfriend. I felt it was unfair because those who studied hard didn’t always do well academically. Still, she got the award even though she stayed up until 3:00 a.m. reading comics before her exams. The more I looked at her, the more I disliked her.

I knew this mindset was not right, and I constantly reminded myself to endure. But whenever something happened, my negative thoughts dominated.

Master was always watching over me. One day when I was memorizing a passage of the Fa for the second time, I realized that I was blocked by a breath of anger, and I was upset. I felt stupid and let it go right away. I knew that my roommate was a good person who understood the truth and also signed our petition calling for an end to the persecution. I should be happy for her when she was blessed.

Miraculously, after I changed my mindset, my roommate no longer ate my food and no longer came back late. I knew that as long as I didn’t give up on cultivation and persisted in improving myself, all issues would eventually be resolved.

I was also bothered by my strong attachment to lust. Starting in elementary school, the girls often read romance novels together. Romance novels write about everything nowadays, and most of them are no different from erotic stories. I read everything except those with homosexual themes. I also watched comics, anime, and movies. These bad things kept accumulating in my mind.

Fortunately, I was able to talk with other practitioners about my attachment to lust. I memorized the Fa, rejected the bad thoughts, and eliminated my attachment.

Like most people, practitioners have their work and life, and need to do their jobs and fulfill their daily responsibilities. The difference between practitioners and ordinary people is that when practitioners encounter difficulties, they can first think about what is wrong with themselves. They can endure hardships, as well as face injustices and laugh them off.

No matter whether we are respected or looked down upon, supported or persecuted, we should think of other people and tell them the truth compassionately and rationally. We should measure ourselves against the standard of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and be truly good people.