Resolving the Grievances With My Mother-In-Law

(Minghui.org) I started cultivating Falun Dafa in 1997, and many of my ailments disappeared afterward. Over the 25 years that I’ve cultivated, I’ve never needed to take any medicine. I am a healthy, 60-year-old lady who is full of vitality. I can carry a sack of rice weighing 55 pounds (25 kilograms), to the fifth floor and ride my bike for 15 miles (25 kilometers) easily. Both my colleagues and relatives admire my good health.

I had many health issues prior to cultivating Falun Dafa. It was hard for me to exert any energy or carry anything over 22 pounds (10 kilograms). Nor could I ride my bike very far, as my back would be in pain and I would have to stop to take a break. I also had motion sickness and would vomit when I rode in a car. I had to skip a lot of work road trips because I was scared of being in a vehicle for too long. But after practicing Dafa for only a couple of days, I no longer got car sick.

Dafa also unlocked my wisdom. I used to have to brainstorm for a long time to solve problems, but after cultivating Dafa many problems were solved easily without my having to think much. Up until my retirement, many young, intelligent colleagues of mine would come to me for advice and praise me for being keen and alert. I’d often tell them that Falun Dafa bestowed me with wisdom.

Dafa brought about many miracles for me and for my friends and family. My husband was safe and sound when he got into an accident and was dragged by a car for many meters while on his motorcycle. Though our family faced many difficulties amid the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) persecution, under Master’s protection, everything seemed to steer in a better direction. My son and daughter-in-law got enviable jobs. Many family and friends said, “A kind person who does good deeds will definitely be rewarded!”

I would like to share with fellow practitioners my cultivation experiences and stories about my mother-in-law.

Resentment Toward My Mother-In-Law

I was assigned to teach in a school after graduating from the university. A senior teacher, around the age of 50, took care of me, and I was very grateful. A month later, I realized her motives. She wanted to introduce me to her son, hoping that I would become her daughter-in-law. I refused in the beginning, because her son didn’t seem like my ideal husband. The senior teacher sweet-talked me multiple times and said, “I don’t have a lot of daughters, but I will treat you like my own if you do marry my son.” After a lot of persuasion, I finally gave in. I agreed to marry her son and believed that my future mother-in-law would treat me nicely and that I would be blessed in this marriage. My husband and I got married two years later. I moved in with my mother-in-law.

The hopes of a happy marriage fell through after I got married. My mother-in-law was a stubborn person. She had specific requests for her dinnerware and chopsticks, and always picked out the broken dumplings and put them in other people’s bowls. She’d only eat lean meat, never fatty meat. She was the center of the household and everyone gave in to her demands. My mother-in-law told me, after being married for a couple of days, “You need to hand over your salary to me each month!”

I was taken aback by her demand. How could I just hand over my salary to her each month when my husband’s sisters and their children came over every day to eat? Why was she so harsh to me? What happened to the promises she made when I was engaged to her son? I felt it was so unfair! I couldn’t get angry, because my body would feel numb if I got too worked up. I also had a lot of dignity and did not want others to talk behind my back. I also didn’t want my parents to worry about me. I was left with no choice but to hand over my salary to my mother-in-law every month.

My mother-in-law was a good talker who never offended anyone, but she was the complete opposite at home and would say many harmful words. My father-in-law doted on my mother-in-law. He’d let her have her way at home, and this was the direct cause of my mother-in-law’s dominance at home.

My mother-in-law refused to help take care of my son after he was born. She felt that taking care of my son would cut into her rest time. My husband was also afraid to ask her for help. When we got home from the hospital, a neighbor said to me, “Your mother-in-law is quite spoiled. How could she not visit her daughter-in-law after giving birth? For women, giving birth is a life and death situation. How could she not worry at all and stay home? What will happen when she gets old and needs her daughter-in-law to tend to her needs?” I stayed silent but vowed to myself to ask her the same question when she needed my help in her later days.

The grudges built up as the days passed. I maintained our peace on the surface, because I knew that once our mutual respect was torn apart my husband would be the one to suffer. My mother-in-law might also take off and not tend to my child, and I would be unable to go to work.

With constant pressure at home and a heavy workload at work, my health began to deteriorate. I had constant headaches, neurasthenia, back pain, gynecological disorders, nerve paralysis, low blood pressure, low sugar levels, gastroenteritis, and many other illnesses. I started to suffer memory loss prior to age 30.

Blessed and Fortunate to Cultivate Falun Dafa

I was transferred to work in the city and obtained Falun Dafa in 1997. I began to read Zhuan Falun, the main text of Falun Dafa. The book answered many questions I had about life. Master Li used simple words and modern science to explain the existence of Buddhas, Daos, the divine, and living beings in other dimensions. Master also talked about the future. My perspective of the world and human notions went through a drastic change, after coming from an atheistic background. I began reading Master’s other lecture books. I learned that I was fortunate to have encountered a once in a millennia cultivation practice, with high requirements for one’s morals. I gained Master’s protection from then on.

I was no longer lost in life. I wanted to be a better person by abiding by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I wanted to return to my true origin. Suddenly, the conflicts I encountered in life, and fame and profits, were nothing in comparison to my cultivation. I was immersed in the happiness of cultivation. I attended a nightly group Fa study and a morning group practice site at a park. Work seemed less strenuous than before. My illnesses disappeared miraculously and I experienced a body free of ailments. Life never felt so wonderful after letting go of fame, profit, and sentimentality, and I no longer held grudges toward my mother-in-law.

“Falun Dafa is good. I will cultivate Dafa till the end.” This was what my heart cried out. However, my cultivation path was not smooth sailing. Besides facing the CCP’s persecution, I also experienced many xinxing tests.

Treating My Mother-In-Law With Compassion

My mother-in-law moved in to live with us in the city after my father-in-law passed away. When my mother-in-law wanted to live in the master bedroom and sleep on our newly bought solid wood bed, I let her stay in the room with no hesitation. She would buy only minimal groceries and instant noodles for my son. Both my husband and I were responsible for the groceries. We suffered financially when my husband was persecuted by the CCP and lost his job because he was a Falun Dafa practitioner.

The grudges toward my mother-in-law began to surface again. I thought, “How can my mother-in-law spend so lavishly on clothing and on her daughters? What happens when she gets sick and needs to pay hospital bills?”

I therefore said, “Mom, perhaps you should save up now that you got a raise?”

My mother-in-law became upset and said, “How dare you tell me to save up? Not even your father-in-law dared to tell me something like that when he was alive. No one has been able to tell me what to do. I will do as I like with my money!”

I replied, “I have no desire to take your money. It is just that your grandson is getting older and might need your help to pay for his college tuition. It is also important to have savings when he looks for a job and establishes a family in the future. I have never once mentioned anything about money prior to my husband losing his job. But our financial situation is different from before. I really do hope your health remains good, but what happens if you get sick in the future?”

My mother-in-law stared at me and said, “My salary is enough to cover minor illnesses. Don’t use this as an excuse to have me save up. I will do as I wish with my money.” We parted on bad terms. After reflecting on the situation, I realized that the reason for the argument was my attachment to gain and profit.

I later had a grandson, and while taking care of him one day, I said something unintentionally to my mother-in-law. She started to reprimand me, and it later developed into cursing at me. I felt wronged and knew that I could not argue with her. I reminded myself, “How can you not get over trivial matters like this, after having cultivated for 20 years?” I silently recited a section of Master’s Fa and was able to calm down.

Master said:

“Nothing is truly unbearable or impossible.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

A housemaid who witnessed the argument said to my mother-in-law, “Your daughter-in-law is truly a good person. She did not argue back when you cursed at her and she still mended your blanket. You should really hold back your temper.”

My mother-in-law got sick after she turned 87 years old. The hospital diagnosed her with terminal liver cancer and she had to be hospitalized. We paid for a private hospital room. Her two daughters refused to come and take care of her. So my husband and I rotated every day caring for her. We read Master’s lecture books, played Master’s audio lectures, and recited the nine special words “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” to her every day. We believed that only Dafa could alleviate her pain. My mother-in-law wanted to leave her savings to her two daughters. Though my husband was dissatisfied with her decision, he knew not to upset her during her last days.

The doctors prescribed ten vials of meperidine, an opioid pain medication, when my mother-in-law was discharged and said that it was for the pain she’d get in her stomach in her final days. However, under Master’s protection, my mother-in-law did not experience any pain, nor did her stomach get bloated. I bought whatever my mother-in-law wanted to eat and drink until she passed away peacefully. We also spent 30,000 yuan (about USD$4,300) for her funeral services.

Master taught me not to be petty about my mother-in-law’s unfair treatment. I treated her with kindness for over 20 years, during the time that my mother-in-law stayed with us. I was able to take gain and profit lightly, because I understood the Dafa principles of karmic relationships. Perhaps I owed her from a previous life, and by treating her with kindness I repaid my debt. I did not leave any regrets for myself.

Thinking back, after all these years and though I did not understand my mother-in-law’s actions and how she could treat her daughters better, I was still grateful that she took care of my son when I was illegally detained for nine months. My mother-in-law also prepared meals, which allowed time for me to clarify the truth. My mother-in-law gained virtue by doing so. My mother-in-law often recited, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” Her health had been better compared to others of her age. Her life is destined to go to a good place.