Chinese Families: The Need for the Principles Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance

(Minghui.org) I suffered from more than a dozen illnesses before I took up Falun Dafa more than 20 years ago. I was born with defects in the valve between my heart’s two left chambers. As an adult, I suffered from severe neurosis and couldn’t sleep without taking sleeping pills. Each episode of excruciating migraine headaches sent me banging my head against the wall until I vomited. My finger joints were swollen and deformed due to rheumatoid arthritis. I couldn’t hear anything except for a constant ringing in my left ear because of a middle ear infection.

Medication did not improve my health and had little to no effect. As soon as one condition improved, the other worsened. I was always suffering from some form of pain. I never knew happiness and saw no hope for a meaningful life. Then, one day, a practitioner who had attended a few of Master’s nine-day seminars invited me to her home. She showed me the movements of the first four Falun Dafa exercises. As it was getting late, she said, “I’ll show you the fifth exercise tomorrow. But here, you can start reading the main book of Falun Dafa, which details the principles.”

She gave me a copy of the book Zhuan Falun and told me to read it meticulously, as it is a book from the heavens. She also gave me tapes of Master’s Fa teachings. Holding the book and the tapes tightly in my arms, I thanked her and left. As I walked home, my entire body was so light that my feet felt like they were leaving the ground. It was as if I was floating. I had never felt so great, and words can’t describe how wonderful it was.

“I Practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance”

I recovered from all of my illnesses after that visit. It was incredible and a true miracle, because there was no process in between—I suffered from more than a dozen diseases the day before and was as healthy as can be by the next day. It may sound unbelievable. Those people who don’t practice Falun Dafa may think I’m telling tall tales. But it really happened. I am a cultivator of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and I don’t lie. What I am telling you is true—it really happened to me.

It has been 27 years since the day I started learning the exercises and I haven’t taken any pills or had any injections since. The only times that I had even been to a hospital were to visit or take care of other people. This is how extraordinary Dafa is, and how powerful believing in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is.

After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) banned the Falun Gong cultivation practice and launched the persecution in 1999 a new Party Secretary was transferred to my workplace. After reading my report “Why I practice Falun Gong,” he looked into years worth of my medical reimbursement records. He saw a huge difference between before and after I took up the practice. My medical expenses used to cost my workplace thousands of yuan every month, with the least being more than a thousand. All that was no longer necessary after I started practicing Falun Dafa.

The Party Secretary said to me, “I admit that Falun Gong does wonders for healing illness and keeping fit. This is the truth and I can’t deny it. However, Jiang Zemin (then head of the CCP, who launched the persecution) won’t let people practice Falun Gong. He has a lot of power. If he says you can’t practice then you can’t practice. We have to align with the directives of the Party.”

He added, “Just say that your illnesses were healed because you practiced something else.” I told him, “I practice Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I have to tell the truth. Master never charged me a penny. As a matter of fact, I have never even met Master. Without any strings attached, he helped me get rid of all my illnesses. He saved me from being a living dead. I am now healthy and pain-free. My entire body is light and I am full of energy. I’ve saved tax dollars for the government and alleviated my family’s financial burden. I cannot tell lies against my conscience.”

I refused to “transform”, or write a guarantee statement promising I would not practice Falun Gong. In the report I turned in, I wrote “Falun Dafa is the mighty Fa.” As a result, I was removed from my position and my pay was suspended. I was reprimanded in front of everyone at a large conference for my entire industry. My supervisor assigned security to monitor me around the clock, and I was made to write a report every three days. I didn’t write anything because Falun Gong is innocent and the practitioners didn’t break the law. Cultivation of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is not a crime.

“Don’t Forget, I Cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.”

My husband also practiced Falun Dafa before the persecution. We used to go to Fa study, practice, and Fa conferences together. He practiced on and off for more than four years before he completely stopped due to fear of repercussions.

To avoid being arrested for my faith, I left my home and became an outcast for more than six months. After returning home, I found that my husband was not quite himself. He seemed to be worried all the time, with heavy thoughts on his mind. He avoided talking about it until one day, when he told me that he was worried about his son, my stepson, not wanting to get a job. The young man and his wife played with and focused all their energy on their pet dog. They don’t have any income and completely depended on my husband’s ex-wife to win money at the Mahjong table (gambling) to pay for groceries. I was curious, “Don’t you give your son all the money you collect from renting your apartment unit?”

Before we re-married, my husband and I each had our own apartment units. When he and his ex-wife divorced, the judge decided that they both had shared rights to the apartment. Since his wife bought another apartment and he moved in with me after we married, they decided to rent the old apartment out and all the rent would go to his ex-wife. His reasoning was that their only son lived with his ex-wife and his half of the rent covered his son’s rent at his mother’s. He had given up more than 80,000 yuan in rent over the years. I never complained about it because I am a cultivator of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Master said that we should treat everyone with kindness, and be considerate of others, not to mention our families.

I told my husband, “Maybe you should talk to your son and try to convince him to find a job.” He said, “I have tried but he wouldn’t listen to me.” I didn’t say anything else as I figured I should stay out of it. It is my husband’s son and he should handle it.

But then it hit me—I was discriminating against his son. If it was my own child, would I not try to help? Did I really see my husband and his son as my family? Then why was I not trying to help, and instead not getting involved?

As I examined myself, I realized that deep down I harbored resentment toward my husband. I lost my job because of my faith and had not had a stable income for two years. I was broke and worked odd jobs, night shifts, weekends, holidays, and seasonal jobs just to make ends meet. I worked long hours and it was very tough. However, my husband never offered to help pay bills, buy groceries, or pay the mortgage, even though we lived in my apartment.

But then I told myself, “No. This is not right. I chose this path of cultivation and thus should endure all the hardships and tribulations that come with it. Master is watching over me and Dafa is protecting me. What is this little bit of hardship? Marriage is based on predestined relationships. He doesn’t help financially because he doesn’t owe me anything. It is really hard being married to a Dafa practitioner—imagine the worries, pressure, and all that he has to go through. He’s taken on enough for me. I must admit to being too selfish.”

As the old saying goes, “The more one eats, the more one will overindulge. The more one is idle, the lazier one will get.” A healthy young man not working, not providing for his own family, and completely depending on his mother for money—this is a recipe for problems. As parents, we should help guide him in the right direction, and not let him continue down a dangerous path.

I suggested to my husband, “Why don’t you pick a nice restaurant, order your son’s favorite dishes and have a heart to heart talk with him. Remind him that he is a married man and has responsibilities in life. He should know his duty to his family, his parents, and the children he might have in the future. His wife loves him and entrusted him with her life, therefore he needs to take care of her and provide for her. Our tradition is that women take care of the home and teach the children, and men work to support the family. As a man and a husband, he shouldn’t depend on others to take care of his family. He should work hard and provide for his own family, like a real man.”

I continued, “Now is the time to lay a good foundation for the future. When they have a child, they will have more expenses. There is an old saying, ‘It doesn’t matter how much my mother or my father has, it’s always better to have my own.’ Let alone the fact that you and your ex-wife don’t have much to give him. He should depend on himself to make a living. Encourage him to start looking for work now but remind him not to get hung up on finding the perfect job, as it takes time. Time is precious. He can always keep looking while working. Why don’t you give it a try and talk to him? It will work.”

My husband listened quietly as I spoke. He left early the next morning and seemed very happy when he got home. He told me he had a great conversation with his son and the young man agreed to look for a job. My stepson called three days later with good news—he found a job. He is now a manager at a large company.

This problem that had bothered my husband for so long was finally resolved. He appreciated my help and told me, “You’re different from other women.” I said, “Don’t forget, I follow the principles Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I treat everyone with compassion. You’re my husband and he is your son. You two are my family. Traditionally, a woman’s virtue is to help the husband and educate the children. I am trying to live up to the standards Master has set for cultivators, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.”

Following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance

My stepson’s wife gave birth to a baby boy. My husband was so happy. He showed me a picture of the newborn on his phone and grinned ear to ear. I was happy for them.

My stepson’s mother-in-law came to visit from the south. My stepson’s mother invited her to stay and help take care of the daughter and the grandson. The mother-in-law happily complied as she wanted her daughter and the baby to receive good care.

The two mothers got along okay at first but soon started having conflicts due to different habits and lifestyles. They tried to be civil about it and not show their resentment at first, but as the conflict escalated they argued and fought in front of the family. They listed everything they didn’t like about each other and accused the other person of treating them badly. As hostility between the two mothers grew, my stepson and his wife also got involved in the fights—this took a toll on their marriage. My stepson’s wife eventually took the baby and went back to the south with her mother. She refused to come back and asked for a divorce.

My husband opposed the idea of a divorce but one day suddenly changed his mind. When I asked him why, he said he didn’t want to lose his grandson, but a friend recently told him that the daughter-in-law couldn’t provide for the baby financially because she didn’t have a job. That gave my husband hope that my stepson might get full custody so he agreed for the young couple to divorce. I knew exactly where he got his “insight” from but kept my mouth shut. I reminded myself that I cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I can offer my advice and hope people make good choices, but should never get involved or side with either party.

The communist regime has systematically destroyed traditional Chinese culture and values since it took power in the late 1940s. It indoctrinates the Chinese people with atheist ideology and the theory of evolution and brainwashes people with its Party culture of deception, and violence. The state-controlled media spread the poison of greed and influenced people to seek only monetary gain. The CCP slanders and oppresses righteous spiritual beliefs such as Falun Gong and the universal values of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

As a result, Chinese people’s morals are in rapid decline. They have lost their innate sense of what’s right and what’s wrong and no longer behave like human beings, let alone adhere to codes of ethics and upright conduct. People don’t believe in upholding their marriage vows to the Gods and casually divorce. Society has changed from being disgusted by it, to reluctantly and passively accepting it, to now considering it right and proper to divorce.

I told my husband the story of the elderly man under the moon who ties a red string to a man and a woman to bring them together in marriage and explained to him that marriages are arranged by higher beings. I knew my stepson and his wife cared about each other deeply and they still had a sense of duty to one another. I shared my thoughts with my husband, hoping we could help the young couple reconcile.

When the couple was dating, the parents from neither side approved of their relationship. My stepson’s wife, then girlfriend, had a huge fight with her parents, gave up a very good job, and moved to the north by herself to be with him. My stepson was determined to marry his love as well, despite his parents opposing it. He was ready to move out and get his own place to marry his wife. A thin red thread tied to these two people brought them together from thousands of miles apart because they were predestined to be together.

The parents from both sides compromised and the young couple got married. The ceremony was beautiful and a huge banquet was held with family. The young couple loved and cared for each other. They had a good relationship with my stepson’s mother until the mother-in-law moved in. I told my husband, “You can help your son save his marriage.”

He looked at me all confused, “Why me?” “Because you’re his father,” I said. “Your daughter-in-law won’t come back and has her heart set on a divorce. Your son is a man. Even if he doesn’t want to divorce his wife, he’s in a pickle now and might act like he doesn’t care, to save face. If you really care about your son and want to help him, you’d find out what he really wants. You are his father. Your love for him is unconditional. As the authoritative figure in his life, your words will have some weight and they just might help save his marriage.”

I continued, “Higher beings created human beings. Gods give men a wife and women a husband. In a marriage, they will pay back the karma they owe each other from previous lives. Not loving each other anymore is a reason only for man, but not to gods, to break a marriage. It is merely an excuse used by those with corrupted morals.”

I asked him, “You love your son and your grandson and you want them to be happy, right? But if the couple divorces, which one of them will be happy? Your grandson will be absolutely devastated. Even if your son gets custody, who will take care of the baby? Can you take care of him?” My husband shook his head. “Is your ex-wife going to take care of the baby?” He sneered, “She can’t take care of my daughter-in-law and the baby—she needed the in-law’s help. That’s what caused all this nonsense in the first place. We can’t count on my ex-wife for anything.”

I told him, “We’re older now. Even if we want to help babysit we don’t have the energy. If your son remarries, how is the next wife going to treat your grandson—we don’t know for sure. There have been few good stepmothers since ancient times. Your grandson is still a baby and he needs his mother. The judge could very well give her custody and your son will have to pay alimony. If he remarries and has another child, he will have to shoulder the burden of supporting two families. If there’s an illness or an emergency situation, is he going to be able to handle it financially? Please give it more thought and talk to your son. My understanding of Master’s teachings in this regard is shallow. My advice may not be completely right, but I have good intentions. It is up to you what to do.”

He nodded, “I don’t want to see them divorce either. I will try to talk to my son and find out what he really thinks.” I said, “If he wants to save his marriage, encourage him to bring some gifts and visit the in-laws in the south. He must sincerely apologize to his mother-in-law, show appreciation of everything she’s done for the family, and ask her for her forgiveness. He has to keep a smiling face regardless of what the mother-in-law says. He also has to mend things with his wife, comfort her, and show his love to her and the baby. Let her know that he still cares and wants to keep the family intact. They will work it out as a married couple.”

“Meanwhile, you have to talk to your ex-wife. Find out what she would rather do moving forward. If she still wants the young family to live with her, she will need to start over and treat the daughter-in-law with kindness and respect. Or we can take the rental property back, renovate it, and have the young family move in. She will no longer get the rent. She can choose either way but don’t force her.”

My husband had a long conversation with his ex-wife and she wanted the young family to move back in with her. Soon my stepson brought his wife and son back and the couple decided to put the baby in daycare. My husband’s daughter-in-law also found a job and started working. Everyone put the family first and the household now runs smoothly. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance saved the family.

What’s more, my stepson, daughter-in-law, and daughter-in-law’s mother happily agreed to quit the CCP and its youth organizations. These three beings are saved. In the process, I improved my xinxing and elevated in my cultivation. I could feel that I’m now on a higher level of selflessness in my cultivation of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.

This true-life story shows that Chinese society needs Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. Chinese families need Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. The Chinese people need Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. However, these much-needed universal values are being slandered and suppressed by the CCP. This will not be tolerated by the heavens.

Only when one separates oneself from the Party and its youth organizations, gets rid of its evil marks, and sincerely recites “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” can one stay safe when the heavens eliminate the CCP and filter out good people from bad.

I am grateful to Master. I am grateful to Dafa. Thanks to Master. Thanks to Dafa.