I Found My Attachment to Showing Off

(Minghui.org) I consider myself a low-key person, and I don’t brag about myself. So how did I discover I had an attachment to showing off?

One of my relatives is a practitioner and she liked to spread gossip obtained from practitioners living abroad.

Spreading gossip is a manifestation of the desire to show off. I knew it wasn’t coincidental that I noticed this, and I realized I should look inward. Although I couldn’t find the attachment, it didn’t mean I didn’t have it.

I decided to memorize the following Fa passage, but for some reason, I was unable to. Master Li Hongzhi (the founder of Falun Dafa) said,

“They like to think that they’re more informed than other practitioners, that no one knows as much as they do. This trait has become second nature for them, and they might not be aware of it.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

“This trait has become second nature for them,” struck me. No wonder I couldn’t find the attachment to showing off because it had become “second nature” for me.

I started paying more attention to my words and actions once I understood this Fa principle, even though I wasn’t sure how it manifested itself.

Master Li must have seen my wish to eliminate the attachment, and revealed it to me through the following incident.

My daughter bought a khaki jacket and showed it to me. It was a common style, so I said it was okay. She sensed that I didn’t care for it, and explained that the jacket matched all her clothes.

I replied, “When I buy something, I go for a fashionable style, different from everyone else … ” I then stopped myself and asked my daughter, “Am I being a show-off and wanting to be different from other people?”

My daughter said, “Yes!” I continued, “If I buy a top that looks different from others, then I’ll have to spend time buying pants and shoes that match the top. So I end up spending more time showing off myself.”

I’m almost 50 years old, and I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 20 years. I’ve been buying clothes with this mindset all these years, and it never occurred to me that it was a manifestation of the desire to show off. I even thought that I was doing pretty well. I wouldn’t have looked for my attachment if I hadn’t noticed my relative’s behavior.

So what was the root of my attachment? I thought back to my childhood to find out why I wanted to buy clothes that were different from others.

Teenage girls want to look pretty, and so did I. But I happened to be shorter than the average girl, and it was difficult to find clothes at the local shops. I was interested in fashion, so I bought and subscribed to fashion magazines for many years. Consequently, I wasn’t interested in ordinary-looking clothes. I wanted the fashionable clothing shown in the magazines and had the seamstress make my clothes according to those designs.

People would compliment my clothes, or turn their heads to look at me on the street. That was how my human notion and attachment were formed. The desire of wanting to look good is also a manifestation of sexual desire (lust).

I thank Master for letting me see my many human attachments.