Changing Myself from the Core

(Minghui.org) My mother brought me to the local group practice site in 1996. Her illnesses disappeared after she started practicing Falun Dafa. However, I was still caught up in the attractions of ordinary life and did not start cultivating. 

At the end of 2012, I began to read Zhuan Falun, the main text of Falun Dafa. The book shone like a light on my life and Dafa’s principles also showed me how to be a better person. I began reading Master’s other lectures in 2016. Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) explained profound theories in the simplest way. The principles of the universe illuminated my life, and by following them, my life was gradually rectified. Before I began practicing I was deeply buried deep in ordinary society’s pursuits. 

Caught Up in Endless Desires 

I enjoyed shopping for attractive clothes since I was young. This strong desire for materialistic pursuits did not change after I began practicing Falun Dafa. Shopping for clothing was part of my life. Although I knew this desire was not aligned with the principles of Dafa, I still could not let it go. I deleted the shopping application on my phone numerous times, only to reinstall it again.

I began to dislike the clothes I bought after I increased my Fa study. I noticed I hadn’t worn most of them, and they did not actually look that good. 

I began questioning why I enjoyed buying clothes. A voice inside me said, “Then, what’s the point of life?” I suddenly realized jealousy was the fundamental attachment that played such a role in my life. I wanted to be complimented when I wore nice clothes since I have a good physical appearance. 

I realized that this was what I had been living for: Competing with others, afraid of being looked down on, showing off, and enjoying being in the spotlight. I also realized that I practiced Dafa so I could feel morally superior to others. My filthy desire to use Dafa to benefit myself was deeply hidden. This was the true reason I could not get rid of my attachment to shopping. 

Master said, 

“One should return to one’s original, true self; this is the real purpose of being human. Therefore, once a person wants to practice cultivation, his or her Buddha-nature is considered to have come forth.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)

I was determined to change for the better through cultivation. I wanted to relinquish my attachments and genuinely cultivate. I always thought cultivation was arduous, and deleting the shopping application on my phone was even harder. However, as soon as my thoughts changed from the bottom of my heart, nothing could stop me. I deleted the shopping application once and for all. I knew Master helped strengthen my resolve. 

For a young person living in a big city and enjoying a good income, it’s easy to just go along with the crowd. Cultivating Falun Dafa helped me re-evaluate myself. I needed to abide by the principles of Dafa. Desires are boundless and can never be satisfied. Upon finding these selfish attachments, I felt light and carefree.

Apologizing to My Mother-In-Law

I misunderstood my mother-in-law over a trivial matter and vented my anger on my son. I felt bad on my way home and realized that a practitioner should not treat others this way—we should be compassionate. I did not understand why I got angry, so I started crying. I wanted to do better in cultivation but I could not control myself. 

I watched the DVD of Master’s “Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners” when I got home. Master helped me once again by pointing out my negative thinking which caused my anger. I felt distressed after being persecuted for distributing truth-clarification materials. I also held a lot of grudges and was always quite pessimistic and skeptical of everything. I even reassured myself that this mentality was correct. Some things would get me so angry that I was unable to calm down. After I identified the root of my problem, I seemed to have a new perspective on the world. 

I called my mother-in-law immediately and my son picked up the phone. I told him, “I should not have yelled at you. I’m sorry.” My son said, “Then you should apologize to grandmother too!” I agreed and he said, “Really? I look forward to it!” I knew Master was enlightening me through my son. I told my mother-in-law, “Mom, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you.” My mother-in-law was happy and said, “Never mind.” 

I have a lot of pride. Apologizing to my mother-in-law would have been impossible in the past. It was Master who calmed me down. Most importantly, Master has changed me from the core. I experienced the miracles of Master’s teachings again.

No Longer a Spoiled Young Woman 

Since I was the only child in my family, the adults spoiled me. I knew I had to take up the responsibilities of taking care of my family after my mother was illegally arrested by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) in 2020.

My family and relatives gathered at my grandmother’s house for the Mid-Autumn Festival this year. The maid and my relatives usually prepared the food. I thought, “Since I am a cultivator, I should take up this responsibility. It would be too much for the maid to prepare all the food.” I prepared marinated beef, lamb, and chicken the night before. The next morning, I bought fish, and shrimp and prepared numerous dishes. My family was surprised by how many dishes I made. This was because I have cultivated a sense of responsibility. An older relative said jokingly, “You have demoted yourself from being a ‘girl in a wealthy family’ to being a maid who takes orders!”

Every girl wants to be from a wealthy family and not be the maid who is bossed around. I take these desires lightly now. 

Overcoming My Attachment to Fear 

Surveillance cameras were installed throughout our neighborhood after it was locked down during the COVID pandemic. I thought that clarifying the truth online was a good option for me since I had to go to work during the day. I was also afraid to talk to people in person and be seen on surveillance camera. 

I took leave from work. The rest of the family went on vacation, but I stayed home and learned how to use the computer. A practitioner who was supposed to go on a business trip had to cancel his plans due to the pandemic and came over to teach me how to use the programs. I learned well from him. It was a good thing, because when this practitioner finally did go on his trip, the trip was a long one and he has not yet returned. I am thankful for Master’s arrangements. 

At first I thought it was a good idea to clarify the truth online since I did not need to speak to anyone in person. However, I started to be afraid that the computer system and the programs were not safe. I finally understood that no matter what Dafa projects I participated in, I had to get rid of my human attachments. The attachment to fear is a crucial test for a cultivator. Cultivation is the same regardless of whether one is in China or overseas. 

Master said, 

“You are cultivators. I’m not talking about your past, what you once were, or what you display on the surface. I am talking about your core and the meaning of your life, the responsibility you shoulder, and your historic mission. Only thus are you truly a Dafa disciple.” (“What is a Dafa Disciple,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XI)

I enlightened that some people may do well in cultivation but still fall behind. Why? This is because they have yet to become a true cultivator from the core. Why are we constantly cultivating ourselves and removing layers of attachments? This is so we can fulfill our historic mission. It’s not just about simply consummating. 

Master said,

“All the same, not one of our Dafa disciples who is truly cultivating has fallen amidst the tests.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference,” Guiding the Voyage)

It is our honor and responsibility to be a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple with a historic mission. I need to let go of my attachment to fear, comfort and being afraid of suffering hardships. Missing this extremely rare opportunity is most frightening.

I still have a lot of shortcomings. I slack off in practicing the exercises. I don’t cultivate my speech well and get impatient with my son. I am still far from the standards of a Dafa disciple. Only by genuinely cultivating, studying the Fa and rectifying myself from the core, and overcoming my fear bit by bit do I feel at ease and happy. The happiness I experience is not happiness that comes from everyday life. Instead, I feel blessed when I cultivate better. I hope to become a true Dafa disciple and fulfill my historic mission.