Looking Within: Illness Karma Disappears Overnight

(Minghui.org) I returned home after clarifying the truth during an afternoon in March 2022. As usual, I washed my hands, sent forth righteous thoughts, and made dinner.

After dinner, I felt very uncomfortable. Waves of chills kept going through my body, and I felt colder and colder. I told my husband that I felt uncomfortable, so I would prefer not to go to the Fa study that night. I turned on an audio player to let him listen to cultivation exchange stories while I took a short nap. I asked him to wake me up when it was time to send forth the midnight righteous thoughts. He agreed.

At this time, my body was already shivering when I used both hands to get the player. I was shaking so much that I could not even speak properly. After turning on the player for him, I went to the bedroom and turned up the electric heater to high heat. As I lay in bed, I wondered which attachment caused these sudden fake illness symptoms to display? Even so, I would not acknowledge whoever was attacking me.

I then kept searching for an attachment but found none. Thus, I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts and begged Master to empower me with strong righteous thoughts.

“Listen,” I said, “you evil beings and elements from the other realms, I am a Dafa practitioner of the Fa-rectification period. I am here to assist Master in rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings. You should not cause any disturbance or damage, and should quickly leave. If not, you all will be disintegrated. I only follow the path that Master has arranged for me, and I do not want any other arrangements. Even if I have shortcomings, I have my Master to manage me, and I will correct myself in Dafa. You all are not fit to interfere in my cultivation.” After that, I recited the formula for sending righteous thoughts.

I then broke out with a fever again, and I could no longer stay under the blankets. But I soon felt cold again and needed to add another blanket. I felt as if it was coming after my life.

Just as I was feeling lost, Master’s Fa resounded in my ears,

“I mentioned something yesterday: Whether you feel good or bad, in reality you can’t tell what is at work. I’ll just tell you one thing: It’s enough if you treat all of it as something good.” (Teachings at the Conference in the Western U.S.)

Master’s Fa helped me calm down a lot. So, I turned on another audio player to listen to Master’s lectures. After listening for a while, it felt uncomfortable again, and I could no longer sit. Therefore, I thought of lying down for a while before getting up. However, I fell asleep immediately. Even when my husband called me to wake up, I could not wake up. It was not until he came to my bedside to wake me up that I finally woke up.

By then, the recording of Master's teaching had already gone on to the second lecture. I felt regret and remorse this time. I still had a fever, and my body felt very uncomfortable, as though it was on fire. My husband teased me and said, “I had been calling you to wake up from 11:30 p.m. to 11:50 p.m. but you still did not wake up. If you do not wake up now, you are going to miss the time to send forth righteous thoughts.”

His words shook me awake. I turned off the player and got out of bed immediately. However, my head felt heavy while my legs felt light, and I could not walk in a straight line. I immediately rejected this fake display and recited the two phrases “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I participated in the global sending forth of righteous thoughts.

The fake illness display that appeared this time was by no means a coincidence. Therefore, I calmed down and looked at my cultivation to see which were the attachments that I had yet to eliminate. When I looked back, I received a shock. There were still many attachments that I had to get rid of. It was just that these attachments were much weaker than they used to be. However, there were also some which were strong, especially the attachment to complaints and hatred, looking down on others, jealousy, and thinking highly of myself.

Ever since my husband became not so mobile, I have needed to do all the housework and take care of his daily living needs. When I got busy, my attachment to complaining could be displayed at any time. I sometimes could control it with a calm mind, but sometimes I found it difficult to control, and my mind would be filled with all sorts of harm that he had inflicted on me when he was young. Every matter and every scene were displayed before my eyes, and I could neither suppress nor get rid of them. So I often complained about these past matters in front of him. Although I knew this was wrong, I just could not maintain my xinxing. However, after doing that, I was especially regretful. Just as I was feeling at a loss.

Master enlightened me,

“The altercations or mistreatment that you encounter as you practice might be either of two scenarios. One is that you mistreated the other person during a past life. Perhaps the situation preys on your mind, and you can’t believe someone would treat you as they are. Well, then you shouldn’t have treated them that way in the past. You might say that you didn’t know better back then and that this lifetime has nothing to do with that one.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)

This part of Master’s Fa was like an instant enlightenment, and gave me sudden insight. At the moment when my husband nagged me, my attachment to complaints was showing up. It was just that I felt too uncomfortable, so much that I did not have extra energy to lose my temper. However, I still had the thought in my heart, “I looked after you for six or seven years already. I did the hard work. What harm can it do to you to call me a few more times to wake me up? You lose your temper just because of calling me a few times and I did not wake up. There is no single bit of patience or tolerance.”

Given this illness tribulation, I realized the shortcomings in my cultivation. On the surface I was still doing the three things every day, but when xinxing problems came up, I did not cultivate as I should and did not realize that this attachment to complaints had already become so strong that they came up naturally.

As I was writing this cultivation sharing article, I realized that this was because I did not get rid of the attachment for a prolonged period of time, but nourished it instead. It could therefore control my thoughts at any time, and cause such things to happen. This was caused by the characteristics formed by the old forces’ influences after I was born, and the modern warped notions.

As such, I got rid of the complaints about him. To truly correct myself, I looked within and cultivated myself in a steadfast manner. I also strived to truly assimilate in the Fa. I should treat all the tribulations on my cultivation path as chances to improve my xinxing. It is just like stairways that lead up to the heavens. I should thank Master for his meticulous protection and fulfill my vows.

Miraculously, during the process of looking within the fever gradually subsided. The next morning, after doing the morning exercises, I felt that everything was back to normal. Although my body felt weak, I still did what I needed to do, and went out to clarify the truth and save people in the afternoon.