(Minghui.org) I’m writing about something I did wrong unintentionally. My purpose is to expose behavior that is not aligned with the Fa. Hopefully it will arouse the attention and vigilance of fellow practitioners. Remember, we should always uphold the Fa, and not do anything to disrupt the Fa.
The Start of the Problem
I am 70 years old. Over time, I gathered some paragraphs from Master’s lectures, which I felt were especially inspiring or meaningful to me, as well as some segments from practitioners’ sharing articles, which I found very helpful. I copied all of these onto pieces of paper. They were tightly written on both sides of the paper. I also had some pieces from Master’s lectures copied onto smaller pieces of paper. I kept the papers in a transparent plastic bag, and I often took them out and read them. Sometimes I showed them to other practitioners when they came to my home.
One day, a fellow practitioner came to visit me. Out of my desire to show off and validate myself, I showed her my collection. The practitioner looked at the paper and pointed out that what I had done was improper. I did not cite which lectures the excerpts were from. Moreover, I mixed Master’s quotes with the segments from practitioners’ articles. The practitioner suggested that I burn the paper, or else this would be disrupting the Fa.
I thought what the fellow practitioner said was correct. But I was reluctant to actually burn the papers. After a while I forgot about it.
Starting two years ago, my head began to feel uncomfortable. It got worse in 2021, and it became especially serious in 2022. It seemed that there were machines roaring in my head, and I felt numb like when frozen in winter. My hearing deteriorated, and my eyesight became clouded. I felt unstable when walking. Sometimes I could not even stand up stably. My mind was less clear. I felt like I was going crazy.
I sent righteous thoughts, and intensified studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I tried not to let others see these problems, as I did not want to bring a negative impression to Dafa. Yet the problem was getting worse. I kept looking inward, but I could not find what I did wrong.
Why Wouldn’t the Papers Burn
One day, I planned to burn some outdated magazines and old exercise music recordings that I no longer used. I took the things to a clean spot in a field. I struck a match to light the papers, but a gust of wind blew it out. My younger sister tried and also failed. In the end, we used a whole box of matches, but could not light any of the papers. I brought everything back home, feeling very puzzled.
I looked inward again. I found I had attachments of showing off, zealotry, looking down on others, selfishness, lust between husband and wife, and not being serious about things. I came to understand all these attachments are not my true self, and they are acquired human notions.
I kept looking inward. Meanwhile the problem with my head continued.
An Immediate Change Took Place
Seeing that I tried hard to look within, Master gave me a hint. Suddenly a thought came to mind: “You haven’t burned that piece of paper.” I immediately remembered the piece of paper I copied the excerpts on. I found it, tore it up, and planned to burn it the next day. I knelt down in front of Master’s portrait and admitted my mistake.
The next morning when I woke up, I found that Master had corrected the problem in my head. I was back to normal.
I brought the torn pieces to a field, along with the things I previously tried to burn. This time I only used one match. Everything was burned without incident.
Several days later while I was half asleep, I saw a very blue sky and a map made of beautiful colorful dots. I was very excited. The map unrolled by itself. At the end, it displayed a big word: “Goal.” I woke up, feeling every cell in my body was excited. I am so grateful to Master!
Conclusion: Watch Out for Acts That Unintentionally Disrupt the Fa
Through this experience, I realized I did not take cultivation seriously. I did things based on my own preferences, without considering the principles of Dafa.
Master said:
“Disruption of the Fa takes many forms, of which unintentional disruption by disciples themselves is the most difficult to detect. Sakyamuni’s Buddhism began its deterioration in just this way and the lesson is profound.” (“Awakening” in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I used to think that disrupting the Fa did not relate to me, so I did not take it seriously. I wrote down Master’s passages without citing the source, and even mixed them with practitioners’ sentences. Furthermore, I showed them to fellow practitioners. If it was spread around, people later on would not be able to tell who said what. I thank Master for sending a fellow practitioner to point out my wrongdoing. That I did not burn the paper right away, showed my low enlightenment quality. This was a serious lesson. While it did not seem to be a big thing, it was actually the start of disrupting the Fa.
As a practitioner, it is our duty to protect Dafa. We must watch out for the “small things” that are disruptive to the Fa.
The above is my personal understanding. Please correct anything that is not in accord with the Fa.
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Category: Improving Oneself