[Singapore Fa Conference] The Project Is Tempering Me, Instead of Me Helping the Project

(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!

I started practicing Falun Dafa with my family in 1996. Although I read the Fa and did the exercises for years, I did not truly understand what Dafa was all about. After I came overseas, met other practitioners, joined the big group Fa study, and participated in events to tell people about Falun Dafa, I finally understood what cultivation is and how to catch up with the progress of Fa-rectification. I understood the urgency of saving people.

Through continuous Fa study, xinxing cultivation, and participating in projects, I learned to cooperate with other practitioners. Through our projects, not only am I able to help save people but my attachments are also exposed and I can eliminate them. Working with others helps me improve even faster in my cultivation and it also helps me to have new understandings of the Fa principles.

Joining the Media Team

When I first joined the media project, I depended on other practitioners. As the project had just started, no one had any idea about its direction, development, work scope, or assignments. We had little technical training. After a period of learning the project started to progress. My responsibility as a member of this project was to improve my technical skills.

Soon after the project was launched, the practitioner who oversaw it could no longer lead it. We were still honing our skills, and we only had basic equipment.

Although the practitioners who oversaw the media projects did not say anything, I knew they were very anxious. If the project went well, it would help push our media forward and it would be accepted by mainstream society. I felt I had some basic knowledge and some ideas about development and strategy. I asked myself if I could assume responsibility, take over and manage the project well so that it would not be given up.

At first I did not have confidence in my own technical skills since I'd never worked in this field before. What would happen if the project failed? Furthermore, I had to lead practitioners to do things together. The responsibility was great. I was also worried that if the project ended, it may incur losses in saving people.

All these conflicting thoughts weighed heavily on me. However, I had this thought in my heart: I felt that since the direction of this project is correct, it should continue. No one wanted to assume the responsibility. Although I was not sure how we should go about it, I had some skills I learned from my ordinary job. I decided I should take up the responsibility.

After considering for a few days, I told the practitioner who oversaw the media my thoughts and he immediately agreed to let me oversee this project. I was both happy and worried. At that time, I did what I should do based on my desire to save people and my understanding at my cultivation level. However, I did not realize that I had a hidden attachment—showing off my capabilities through this project.

My Attachments Are Exposed

Although I had not mastered many technical skills, some videos I made were well received by other practitioners. I felt proud of myself. I felt that I attained a certain standard and had strong learning abilities too. After this happened a few times, this attachment became stronger and stronger and I started thinking about how good I am. When I agreed to take over the project, I used the excuse of being full of righteous thoughts and the urgency in saving lives to harbor this hidden attachment of showing off.

My attachment included thinking highly of myself. I thought that I was highly educated and had experience. I began looking down on others. I was also jealous. This manifested in my being aggressive in my speech. I pressured people to do things my way. When others did not agree with me, I felt unsettled even though I did not say anything.

Some practitioners directly told me that the way I spoke was irritating and that I was overbearing. A very complicated feeling welled up in me when I heard this. I kept telling myself that what I said was for the good of the project. It was my responsibility to point out things that were wrong. Otherwise, all our efforts would be wasted. I sacrificed so much for the project, why can’t they understand me? I felt very frustrated and said to Master in my heart, “Why is it so hard to manage a project? Some practitioners are not diligent in their cultivation, and don’t know how to cooperate.” I began having negative thoughts and wondered if I should resign.

A Breakthrough

Just when I was feeling most frustrated, I read a cultivation article on Minghui.org. I cannot recall the original words but the rough meaning is that in autumn, the colors of maple leaves are different from one another. Although they are different, they form a beautiful autumn scene when they are placed together. The leaves do not compete. They form a picturesque scene just by being what they are.

I then thought of the sky, that the stars are different sizes and in luminescence, but no star flaunts its own brightness. They just form gorgeous galaxies that ultimately form the vast universe. While I thought about this, my heart suddenly broadened. All practitioners are reading the same Dafa, but we understand different Fa principles and thus have our different positions and levels in the universe. Master’s Dafa encompasses everything and created everything. Our existence is also a display of the boundless Buddha Fa at our level.

Master said,

“Of course, when there’s something that needs to be done in a Dafa project, you should set aside your own things as much as you can to get done what the project needs done. That is the first priority. So you need to cooperate. When completing that task, however, you will bring to it your own manner of handling things, which is a reflection of you walking your own path in cultivation. Master acknowledges this, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s inevitable that each person goes about things like that. It can’t possibly be that you are all the same, as if all cut from the same mold.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2013 Greater New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XII)

People are different from one another, and thus they may have different opinions or solutions regarding the same problem. Even if the matter had been discussed and decided upon, different practitioners may very likely have different methods of executing the decision, thus achieve different results. All these are also the different paths that practitioners take in their cultivation paths. In that case, it is impossible for me to use my limited knowledge to understand everyone. All my unhappiness came from my stubborn insistence on my limited knowledge. I was jealous of other practitioners for having better suggestions than mine or being more capable than me. I formed the mindset of being full of myself because I was the person-in-charge of this project. I forgot the fundamentals—that I am a practitioner and can only make this project do well by improving my personal cultivation.

After my mindset changed, I realized that every practitioner deserves my respect. I was touched by the other practitioners’ diligence. I also admired them for the areas where they had done well.

When my notion changed, the job of coordinating this project no longer seemed so hard.

In the past, I had to force myself to contain the anger and dissatisfaction in my heart. But now, I can accept and tolerate it when others have different opinions.

I understood that in the past, the thoughts that stemmed from selfishness and being self-centered were caused by the substances from the old universe that I hadn’t eliminated. They buried the real me. It was hard for me to know the right thing to do. When I found this shortcoming and tried my best to improve, Master helped me remove that substance that was burying the real me. I elevated a bit in my cultivation and now I can deal with conflicts calmly.

Now, when practitioners in the project have problems, I remain undisturbed. I calmly discuss the issues with them. We summarize our experiences and look at how we can do better next time. When other practitioners seem lazy, or seem to procrastinate in completing tasks, or are afraid of hardships, no matter how unsettled I feel, I ask myself if I also have these attachments, and that’s why I’m seeing this.

When I examine myself, I usually discover that fellow practitioners’ behavior is like a mirror and that I also have the same problems. I also like to procrastinate and not complete tasks until the last minute. I just do a better job of hiding it. This is an opportunity for me to expose these attachments, overcome them and get rid of them.

Later, this project met with another tribulation. Some people questioned how effective the project was, its direction, etc. In the past, when I met with difficulties I also wondered if this project was effective. Should I continue to participate in this project? When the hardships increased and everything seemed hopeless, these thoughts became stronger.

Through reading the Fa, I understood: My being offered opportunities to join projects is not accidental. They are Master’s painstaking, benevolent arrangements, and my prehistoric vows. They are opportunities to eliminate my attachments and improve in my cultivation.

Through these experiences, I learned that Master’s arrangements are the best. When I meet with difficulties and my first thought is to compare our project with others, that is a result of my attachment to gains and benefits. I treat people and matters differently based on my opinion of them, my desire to accumulate mighty virtue, not wanting to endure hardship and wanting to take shortcuts. On the surface, I make it sound nice when I say that the other projects have great life-saving effects. I make it seem like I am being responsible and saving people. In fact, I am just finding excuses to hide those attachments that I am unwilling to eliminate.

I’ve been involved in many projects and experienced many different cultivation environments. I finally understood that Master is giving me chances to learn what true cultivation is. He is giving me the chance to compare myself with other practitioners and learn from them, see our differences, expose and eliminate my attachments and quickly improve in my cultivation.

These experiences also gave me the ability to coordinate. The project is a large smelting pot that is constantly tempering me, helping me to elevate in my cultivation. This change and elevation process is what I must face, including every single thought of mine when I meet with good or bad situations, whether I treat the project with a selfish or selfless attitude and whether I use human notions to preempt the consequences. I finally understood how much effort Master put in to make all these arrangements for me!

Looking to the Future

My heart’s capacity expanded. Apart from dealing with the project’s issues, I also need to consider how to find people with an affinity to clarify the truth to in my job and daily life. There are some Chinese people around me that I have not yet clarified the truth to or helped quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its youth organizations. I must continue to think of ways to do this.

Through dealing with conflicts, my selfish and self-centered thoughts are gradually reduced. People keep coming to me to listen to the truth. No matter how tight time may be or how many things I need to settle, whenever I am a bit more diligent and my thoughts are on the Fa, the Fa’s wisdom is displayed to me. I can easily do what I need to do. On the contrary, when I relax my cultivation, I feel tired and things pile up until I feel I cannot handle them.

During the 3 years of the COVID pandemic, the world changed dramatically. What did not change is that I must cultivate myself well every day and use the wisdom that I obtained from the Fa to keep saving people and do the three things well. I feel that time is getting shorter and shorter every day. When I get distracted, a few hours quickly pass and the time is wasted.

Sometimes my attachment to fame, showing off, seeking happiness, desires and lust, comfort, and others keep surfacing, and my cultivation state is not always stable. The examples of fellow practitioners’ diligent Fa study and saving people encourage me and I quickly adjust my state. The articles written by fellow practitioners on Minghui.org encourage me. I see that my attachments are actually very small, and this strengthens my confidence.

As the new year approaches, I will continue to try my best to do the three things well, keep up with Master’s Fa-rectification, and not dwell on the past. I must look inward and proactively eliminate my attachments, do well in my job and also tell everyone I meet about Falun Dafa. I must live up to the title, “Falun Dafa practitioner of the Fa- rectification period.”

Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!

(Presented at the 2022 Singapore Fa Conference)